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how to overcome insecurity

How to Overcome Insecurity when You’re Starting Something New

Do you feel insecure?

Maybe about your passions? That they’re not shared by anyone else?

Maybe you’re insecure about social situations. Perhaps you’re wondering what people are thinking about you?

Or, are you simply worried about putting your art into the world? Again, thinking that someone might compare it to some great artist? Or they’ll make fun of it – or you’re afraid of the feedback you might get?

 

These are all insecurities that most of us face from time to time. If you weren’t then you’re not human.

There’s a trick, though, to not letting them stop you from putting yourself out into the world in a meaningful way.

Actually, there’s 4 ideas that you can use on yourself to psych yourself into doing things for the first time.

 

Competence Means Confidence

For me, I hated the way I sounded on the AoL Podcast when I was first starting. However, as I grew into the craft of making the show, my brain just grew accustomed to that voice. And what I would hear in my mind after a while, wasn’t so much me, but it was more of the talent that was the host of the AoL Podcast.

I had the opportunity to make that person sound good.

2 years into the podcast, I get compliments by guests that I actually sound like I know what I’m doing.

Today, I’m facing the same thing when starting this new group thing. A part of it is doing Facebook lives. While I’m not posting every day, I have already done a couple of them. Still not completely used to my face yet, but I’m sure I’ll get over that as well.

So, the first thing you need to do is just start.

You’re not going to master the rest of your life in one day. Just relax. Master the day. Then just keep doing that every day.

You’ll see that that action will yield results which then yields new beliefs.

Then repeat the process!

overcome insecurity

Feedback Yields Power

Don’t tie your work or feelings to anyone’s approval. Even to this day, there are people out there who don’t like Harry Potter, Star Wars, Star Trek – you name it. If it exists, there’s more than likely going to be people who don’t like something.

However, those who do like your stuff, when they let you know that they like it – it means you’re going in the right direction.

If they have constructive criticism, that’s even better. Not only is someone showing you that they care enough to let you know what they thought about your work, but they’re giving you feedback in a way that matters.

As an entrepreneur and leader, that’s what you want from your followers. To have feedback so you can know how you can help them!

Don’t search for the attitude with them or even yourself – use it as a way to get better in you craft.

And finally, you can’t perfect something if you don’t have other’s input about it.

 

Rejection Doesn’t Happen that Often

Here’s the thing, you’ve probably already interacted with plenty of people in your life. Hundreds, if not thousands of people. From all of those people, how often have you really dealt with rejection?

In fact, what life actually tells us is that people are going to be indifferent about what you’re doing more than they’ll actually reject it.

The main reason that I think people reject something is that it starts out being seeing as one thing and then, for whatever reason, it changes.

For example – New Coke.

How many New Coke situations have you heard of in your life? Not many! (I’m still not too thrilled about them changing Coke Zero to Coke Zero Calorie. It’s not the same thing!)

If you’re newly putting yourself out into the world, people are going to give you the benefit of the doubt that you’re new.

Plus, there’s a heck of alot more supportive people in the world than trolls.

 

Your Soul Won’t Settle

Take it from me. Ever since I heard from Pat Flynn about the online business world in 2009, I’ve been wanting to follow in his footsteps.

Here it is, 2017, and I’m still not to the level I’d like to be. BUT I will mention that things are going better than i would have expected a year ago at this time.

I now have a plan for the future.

But I wouldn’t have had that plan if I hadn’t have taken action.

I would be still wondering “Can I? Will I? Should I?”

And frankly, that wasn’t going to cut it… for the rest of my life.

So, if you already have that aching suspicion that you’re supposed to be doing something else than you’re already doing – and you continue to put it off, then you’re always going to have to fight those demons.

Do yourself a favor and get started as soon as you can in doing the work that you’re meant to do.

Your mission is waiting for you.

Action Steps

If you’re in that place right now, whether you’re an experienced entrepreneur or not and you’re not sure if you’re ready for the next big thing…

Ask yourself this one question.

What does my gut tell me I need to do next?

If it’s telling you to get up and do something different, then do whatever it is.

If you think it might help, make a mission statement. Let the world know that this is who you and who you see yourself becoming. Not tomorrow, but eventually.

If you need help figuring out what your mission is, check out this interview with David Anderson. It’s quickly becoming one of my go to episodes as I answer this insecurity issue from time to time.

reading body language

Lisa Mitchell – Becoming Aware of Your Body Posture: Why Reading Body Language and Giving the Right First Impression are Vital to Success (AoL 105)

Whether you’re on a phone, in person, or standing on stage – communication is king. In general, when you think about the word communication, your first thought probably is a vision of someone talking.

I know that’s the case for me.

However, during the time when we’re talking or simply standing still, our body is actually speaking for us as well. In fact, non-verbal communication is often what truly conveys our message more so than our actual words!

In today’s chat with Lisa Mitchell, we find out more about non-verbal communication and how it affects our daily lives as well as our businesses. We also get into why authenticity is so important in today’s world, and we even get into why body language needs to be part of the next generation of online dating.

 

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • Why did Lisa leave behind a career as a coffee house owner to pursue her current career? 10:03
  • Why was the underlying reason she struggled with her first business? 14:47
  • What was her “aha moment” when she realized that she wanted to help people communicate better? 18:56
  • What are some ways that a person can manage their first impression a bit more? 26:41
  • What are the three parts of nonverbal communication? 31:31
  • Why does Lisa believe that the market demands authenticity from their experts? 36:32
  • When it comes to body language, how does being aware of your decoding process help? 39:36
  • What are some of the common conflicts and trends Lisa has seen between Millennials and Corporate? 46:41
  • What got her started helping people in romantic relationships as well? 51:17
  • How are some common problems that young professionals have when it comes to dating? 57:08
  • What does Lisa think the next big thing in online dating is? 1:01:13
  • How can someone plan for a good first impression? 1:04:06
  • What does Lisa have coming up to look forward to? 1:06:07
  • Who are three influencers that has helped her get to where she is today? 1:07:53
  • What’s here least favorite social custom? 1:12:12
  • What kind of advice does she hear parents giving kids that she’d call BS on? 1:14:25
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 1:18:01
  • … and MUCH more!

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ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Be a human lie detector:

Own the Room (pt1):

Own the Room (pt2):

Avoid the Question Inflection (Don’t be a valley girl!):

What does LeBron’s post-shot behavior mean?:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

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A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

true self

Circling Back to the Beginning: How a Sweat Lodge Realization Opened a Door to True Self and New Opportunities with Eric Finnigan (AoL 103)

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personal development plan

Soft Skills for your Growing Indie Business – Why Millennial Entrepreneurs Need a Personal Development Plan with Hector Santiesteban (AoL 094)

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why am I here

David Anderson – Why Am I Here? – Why Discovering Your Personal Mission is Vital to Living a Purpose Driven Life (AoL 092)

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Arne Giske: Working While Traveling – Exploring a Digital Nomad’s Lifestyle (AoL 084)

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business achievement

Sabah Ali: The Double Major Entrepreneur – How to Combine College Life and Business Achievement (AoL 083)

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