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self fulfillment

Self Fulfillment: The Secret to True Success

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In our world today, we’re often seen as doing the right thing when we’re seeking success. I mean, why not? On the surface, success seems like the perfect way to measure someone’s value to society. The more success someone has had at doing a particular thing, the more likely they’ll be able to teach someone else to do the same thing.

Right?

Well, perhaps.

See when I think of the word success, I think of it more as a label coming from external sources. Someone else has told me I’m successful. Whether by a simple compliment or by getting my degrees in college, it’s been someone else telling me that I’m a success.

On that same note, I’d really only say I’m successful when I achieve goals that I set for myself.

However, as much of a good feeling I had when I got my Masters, it was short lived.

The hard reality set in that I hadn’t been really setting my own goals. Others had put emphasize on what I should be pursuing. When I achieved that, I asked “What now?”.

It took me a good several years to truly figure out the answer to that.

Here’s what I’ve realized.

 

Modern Success is Superficial

Since our success is usually measured by other people, it’s probably not the best measurement for ourselves and navigating our own personal journey.

Take, for example, your typical “successful” professional athlete. On the outside, they seem to have it all. Many have a job that pays super well (the low end is $100k/yr for NFL players), and because of that, they should have a cushy lifestyle compared with the rest of us.

They should be set for life.

As we know, this isn’t always the case. For some people who go the professional athlete route, their money goes as quick as it comes in. Or they get injured on the job and are unable to perform at the same level. For those folks, they’re not considered any more a success in life when they end their career vs when they got started.

So maybe there’s another way to measure success?

Well, in professional sports, we can say that a player has had a successful career if they have had great stats over a certain amount of time.

But, from their perspective, good players tend to not really care about padding stats. They simply want to be considered great at what they do. It just so happens that good stats in professional sports usually means someone’s really at their craft – playing their sport.

Thing is, not all professions have these measurements of greatness built in. In fact, most don’t.

So, the question is, how do we measure our greatness?

 

Greatness comes through Mastery

Those professional athletes could not have the stats that they had without seeking mastery in their craft. If you have two people with the same level of talent, who will come out ahead? The one who works on their craft day in and day out? Or the one who just tries to wing it?

In sports, we see this time and again. The players who study film and go through the reps in practice are going to be more successful than those who don’t.

Same is true about the rest of us.

Those of us who improve in our craft a little more each day are going to eventually get better than those who just do the same thing as a hobby.

As we work towards this mastery, the better we get at something, the more we’ll be fulfilled.

So, if that’s the case, the more fulfillment we get from doing something, the more potential we have to be great at something. If we don’t get fulfillment from doing something, then there’s most certainly going to be a cap in how great we’ll be able to make ourselves at it.

 

Action Steps

So as you’re thinking about this new definition of “success” and how importance true fulfillment is, perhaps we can think of it in simple terms. Here are a few questions to ask yourself.

How many things are you currently doing or have done because you wanted the reward at the end? Compare that to the activities you do because you truly want to get better at that particular craft or process. Which percentage is higher?

If money or stuff wasn’t a measurement of true success (because it isn’t), what would you be doing as a career? Are you currently at your job because it pays the bills? If so, it might be time to consider a change.

And finally, since we measure true success by the fulfillment we get out of what we put our effort into (and not through the view of others), are there any specific ways you can measure your current fulfillment – whether it’s in your work or through making yourself a better person?

Personally, knowing how many people I’ve helped live a better life helps gives me fulfillment.

Perhaps you can measure your success through that scale?

Or maybe, you can track your success based on something completely different – such as how well you can play an instrument or how much you’ve improved your health over time. Heck, maybe it’s something like how well you can speak a language.

 

learning process

5 Checkpoints to Expect In Your Learning Process

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Back in March of 2011, I decided that I was going to become part of the John Maxwell Team. This was a big deal for me at the time as I felt that it was going to be a good way for me to get out of the funk of losing Mom. At this point, it had been just a couple of months and I figured “Hey, I’m not getting any younger. I better commit to growing myself as a professional so I’m not stuck where I am.”

Needless to say, getting started with JMT propelled me in the direction that would eventually lead me to a good part of the network that I have, including Brawn Lide, who was my roommate for the week long training at the end of the program.

Anyhow, I wanted to share with you guys a little bit from what I was thinking as of April 3rd of 2011 as I officially started off on this new journey. Hopefully it will do two things for you: 1.) Give you courage to spend money to invest in yourself. 2.) Don’t have expectations of being great at the beginning of any new venture or experience.

So I’m finally starting the John Maxwell Certification Program. And I gotta say, after the first week of “class”, I’m impressed. The faculty is spot on. I really feel that this is a capstone program to my OLS studies. One that will get me to the next big thing – being a certified Exec and Life coach.

However, when I first signed up for the program, I kept asking myself “why did I just spend as much as I did on something that I have plenty of info around me on?” I knew I could eventually get to where I wanted to be by just reading book upon book that were recommended to me through LTD. This has worked pretty well for me already.

Then it occurred to me. The reason that I did jump into the program because it IS a program that has it’s own curriculum. It’s not a collection of “best practices”. It’s a program where the faculty actually are with you step by step through the curriculum. There are even Q&A sessions. Even though it’s extra work that I’ll need to be doing and I’ll be grading myself based on what I get out of the program, this is basically how I worked in all my years in school. Everyone starts on the same level and ends up with the same outcome. I love that it’s a level playing field. I’m just down right excited!

Putting It Into Action

One of the things that has seemed to be a underlying generality about LTD and what this program has taught me so far is that “growth” does give you quite a bit in the end. Most of the time, however, I think that both are referring mostly to the growth we go through in the process of self discovery.

While a particular event might motivate you to do something, it’s only the process that matures you – that grows you. An event happens in a day while the process happens daily. And simply put, the person who has grown the most will attract others to him. The ones that have matured the most will have more meaningful relationships than those that haven’t, including romantic relationships and clients (if those are what you’re seeking).

So what am I talking about?

I’m just saying that if you want ANYTHING to change for you in life, it’s not going to change on it’s own. You need to put the effort and work in. You ought to keep an open mind. Learn to ask the big questions. Read the books you need to read. You need to do the reflecting. In fact, you might just see your life going in reverse if you don’t do these things.

Checkpoints in Your Learning Process

If you are wanting to improve in something, here are some key checkpoints that can apply to any learning process:

1.) “I don’t know what I don’t know.”

Yes, that sounds dumb at first glance, but it’s a nice way of saying that people are ignorant about something until they actually start realizing that an alternate path exists.

2.) “I know that I need to know.”

This point comes into play when you start realizing that you need to know more about a particular subject that might help you out. If you do search for more information, make sure that the source is credible and not some anonymous source that can easily be a Joe Schmoe that hasn’t been greatly successful in their life. A lot of people put their trust in people they’ve never even met on the net vs someone they can actually get bodily communication from. Why would you do that? Are they really an expert? Just make sure you do a good “Lit Review” of the material out there on any given subject as you’re starting out. It’s better to have a consensus of 10 anonymous people on the web, two people you’ve met, and checking out wikipedia vs only asking 2 people that might have some knowledge.

3.) “I know what I don’t know.”

This stage occurs when you start realizing that there actually are people out there that have been successful with something that you want to do or been curious about using a method that you don’t know much about. This is when you start formulating your strategy for your own growth based on what these others have talked about.

4.) “I know and grow – it starts to show.”

After determining the changes you need to make and taking the advice of others who have been successful in doing something you want to do, you have put the plan into motion and small results are starting to show. This is also known as the “action yields results yields belief which in turn yields action again stage”.

5.) “I simply go because of what I know.”

At this point, the action is second nature to you. You simply do something because you know it has a better outcome then what the alternative is because you’ve seen both sides of the coin.

The more you know… the more you grow!

Action Steps

As I’ve been going down this entrepreneurial path for sometime after writing this post (already 7 years!), I have to say that the words of this post make so much more to me now than I’m thinking it back then. I understand the words on a much deeper level.

For example, the podcast. Would I have done things a bit differently if I was to relaunch the show? Sure. Would I have named it something else? Ha. Perhaps.

But it is what it is. We can’t expect to be perfect right out of the gate. It’s not fair to us or the people that we’re going to help with our work. As we move forward in our craft, we learn that it’s not necessarily about the craft, it’s about the people.

Or as Shawn Askionsie said in his book Meaningful Work: A Quest to Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, and Feed Your Soul, “It’s not about the chocolate, it’s about the chocolate.” Meaning his business isn’t just about making chocolate, it’s about the relationships he’s built in his direct trade based business.

I’m curious, guys. What’s some things you’ve picked up during your time as you’ve been working on your meaningful work? What are some things that you wouldn’t have known before you started working on whatever it is you’re doing? How did it help you grow as a person?

forever alone

Forever Alone? Here’s My Solution!

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I’ve been recently listening to one of my favorite podcasts again for the first time in at least a year or so. It’s called The Art of Charm. There’s a good chance you’ve heard of it!

If not, you might want to check it out. It’s a great show. Jordan Harbinger, who’s actually around my age, is the host and in it he talks with a top performers from various industries in how they’ve been so successful.

It’s actually where I got a bit of some of the things in my show.

One thing I haven’t touched on a great while are romantic relationships. While Maria and I are in a great place in our own relationship, I can’t say that telling others how they should meet people should be anything like how we met.

Honestly, our relationship skipped a couple of steps – including anyone proposing. We moved from hanging out at coffee shops, to her mom inviting me to holidays, and before you know it we were talking about possible wedding dates.

We still don’t remember how that all worked – at least I don’t.

This post, originally from July 5th, 2012, is from that time period. If my memory serves correctly, we might have been engaged at this point since we got married in July of 2013. (Wow, it HAS been five years already!)

Anyway, since Valentine’s Day is just a month away and I’d rather it not be Single’s Awareness Day for those of you who want to find someone, here’s a bit of advice – you don’t have to be Forever Alone. Just like most crappy situations, it usually comes from a negative mindset. Let’s explore a bit in how we can get out of it!

In a previous post, I had talked about Good Guys (aka Nice Guys) and their determination to make themselves bend over
backwards so that they appear nice to everyone.

In the past year+, I’ve learned that while that bending over backward for everyone might be useful for being a politician, it isn’t as so for most people. Also, it isn’t true when you want to appear confident. And better yet, it isn’t so useful when you’re actually trying to attract people in your life. Take it from someone that just happened to “stumble” into a relationship/marriage after being “Forever Alone” his entire life.

Confidence is key in everything in life.

 

What I’ve Learned about being “Forever Alone”

There are a group of people out there who believe that they are doomed to be “Forever Alone”. What this basically means is that they believe that no matter what they do, they’re really never going to have any good friends. They’ll  potentially lack the great bonds with family members and even worse to most, they’ll never have a significant other in their life. They’ve basically convinced themselves that they have no qualifying values for anyone AND that they have never attracted anyone to them in their life.

Funny thing is that these same people are probably well educated (if not overly educated) folk who have studied over and over why they’re alone – or seemingly that way. And even more ironic is that they typically come up with the same answer: “It’s them, not me.”

The truth is that what makes you smart isn’t necessarily your best friend in many situations. See, the problem here, is that Forever Aloners think that the stereotypical geek/nerd/dork who has had social issues – will always continue to have them. And they get “proven” data to back them up from all of the nonsense that society puts out there.

Most recently, I saw the recent movie 21 Jump Street where one of the main characters (Schmidt) gets turned down supposedly by an attractive girl because he was a nerd. This proves the Forever Aloners perspective. However, while this might have been the case for this one girl, it’s not the case for all!

Read on for the solution…

 

So What’s the Solution to being “Forever Alone”?

Here’s the deal. If Schmidt hadn’t changed who he was and stopped looking in the wrong places, he probably was going to always be Forever Alone! However, through the movie he actually gains confidence by hanging around an old enemy/new friend Jenko. While Schmidt brings the brains to the friendship, Jenko brings the confidence.

A couple of things that I don’t think Forever Alone people think about are:

1.) If they don’t meet people, they won’t have friends.

Instead, what I believe is that they look at it the opposite way… that even if they were to go meet people, no one would like them… for whatever reason.

2.) Popular people get all the attention.

 Again, this is backwards. You need to get attention to be popular. And to get attention, you need to have influence. And to get influence, you need to have confidence. To get confidence, you really need to be ok with who you are now OR the ideal version of you that you want to be. The more you see the current you becoming that future you, the more confident you become.

3.) Unless they give each other value, some personalities have harder times getting along with other personalities. 

It’s true. Amiables  and Drivers tend to suck the energy out of each other if they don’t understand where each other is coming from. Same can be said about Expressives and Analyticals. However, what’s even more interesting is that those same personalities also attract each other like magnets in the end. Just like Schmidt and Jenko did.

 

Forgive and Gain a New Perspective

If you don’t want to be Forever Alone, the simplest method of fixing it is by dropping your insecurities. And the easiest way to do that is to forgive others.

Just like Schmidt forgave Jenko.

Forgiveness is the key to insecurity. And that’s exactly what being Forever Alone is… an insecurity.

It’s these insecurities that is the root of a ton of issues in our world today – including being Forever Alone.

Once you start forgiving (others, and even yourself), your next step is to find out that personal mission of yours. Learn to embrace that. Of course, there will be some people who don’t like you because of it. However, there will be others who love you because of it.

Once you find your true self, go find people who are interested in the same things. If it is an SO you’re looking for, make sure one of your networks could potentially involve your new mate.

Seriously, there’s nothing wrong with making everyone friends first and then moving on from there.

It worked for me – it can work for you.

Just as a side note: The “Friend Zone” does not exist after the age of 25 or so. If you think a person is friend zoning you, you probably shouldn’t be wasting your time pursuing them as an SO.

Also, it wouldn’t hurt to understand personalities so that you know which personalities click. It’s much easier to find potential friends/mate if you know why different personalities attract and repel each other.

Action Steps

So what do you think about being “Forever Alone”?

Can it be cured? If so, how? What are you personal thoughts on the matter? Am I full of it above?

I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comment section below!

 

moral compass

Developing a Moral Compass: 21 Standards to Live and Work By

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Here we are at the beginning of a New Year. In a lot of blogs across the web regarding business and self development, you’ll be seeing a lot of posts talking about planning your upcoming year.

I’m going to change it up just a bit here. Instead of giving you yet another one of those posts (which I have done my fair share), I wanted to focus more on having a good mindset to start out the new year.

Because, really, when you think about it, planning and reflection shouldn’t just be a particular once a year activity. It should be ongoing.

That being the case, one can talk about doing these things until you’re blue in the face. But if you don’t have the right Attitude or “Lattitude” as the podcast would suggest, you’re not going to be getting too far.

You need a moral compass.

So here’s a post originally from March 20th, 2011. When I first heard the information, it really helped me out of my funk. Not only that, but it was one of those pieces of knowledge that set me on my current trajectory.

I hope it does the same for you!

So here’s a question for you. What’s holding you back? What is the main problem that keeps you from achieving whatever it is that you’re trying to achieve? Have an idea? Ok. Now let’s see if you agree with one of these next sentences. It’s someone else’s fault. Someone else got the promotion. Someone else got first place in the last tournament.

But is that really the reason why or is it that you beat yourself? Through all the conversations I’ve had over the years (including the podcast) it seems that there’s one main reason they’ve failed. Up to a point, they believed that to be successful, you had to work by beating the competition.

What we’ve found is this simply isn’t the case. To be successful in life, you simply have to beat the you of yesterday. That’s really one of the keys of success. A mentality of “If not today, then when?” or “Don’t put off ’til tomorrow what you can accomplish today.”

Back when I was active member of LTD, we had a subscription to a weekly CD called the Continued Education Program (CEP). Many times the topics that were covered relate to business development itself, but more often than not, most of the time it relates to living a successful life in general. (Side note: you can’t be successful in one thing without being able to be successful in another. The rules and laws of success transfer.) One example is a CD I was listening to by Joe Markiewics. In it he talks about something that I think definitely needs to be brought up to the front of my things to write about – Standards to Live By.

In my Freemason studies, one of the things that I’ve also come across is the idea of the ashlar block. At first it starts out as a rough ashlar, but after the work of educated workmen it becomes what is known as a perfect ashlar. In construction, a perfect ashlar is a standardized building block that is then used to build reliable structures with.

So with that said, how does one become a perfect ashlar? How do we become a part of a community in which others can trust them to be valuable part of the community? It all starts with standards. If you want to be successful in life, then I suggest you determine your own standards. With a bit of help from Joe in reminding me, here are standards that I try to live by:

1.) No one person is more important than another, the group as a whole, or the vision of that group.

If one person thinks that they’re better than the next guy and causes problems, then that person can and should be left behind. If you ever get the chance to study a pack of dogs (via Dog Whisperer), notice what happens when one starts acting weird. The others start noticing right away and soon leave it behind. In a pack of wolves who have to hunt to survive, unpredictable behavior can not be tolerated.

2.) No excuses.

If something isn’t done, it’s not done. Period. “Do or do not, there is no try.”

3.) Never complain.

I know that things aren’t fair and they may hurt your feelings, but it’s not for you or me to retaliate in complaining. Just do better next time. Make your reasons to not do something your reasons to do it.

4.) No weak faces.

This means no bad body language. In a sports team, if one member drops the ball repeatedly because their head is not in the game, can they ever be trusted to actually catch it and be a go to guy of the team? All it takes is one person to feel sorry for themselves and the rest of the team falls apart. Don’t lose your poise.

5.) Be unselfish.

There are other people. Make sure they get their share as well.

6.) Positive mental attitude (PMA) at all times.

Learn what to say when you talk to yourself. “I can do this. I just got to figure out how!”

7.) Never talk negatively about somebody behind their back.

Never gossip for gossiping sake or for small talk. If you feel you have to be negative, only be constructive about it and do it in a manner that is not mean or backhanded. State only the facts. Use the sandwich method.

8.) People matter – care about them.

If there’s someone sitting by themselves in a group setting, go be a friend to them. Invite them into your group. Offer to do something for them. (When my mom passed, I got more cards from LTD members than from any other group. I haven’t opened them yet, but I really truly appreciate them!)

9.) Be a giver – go the extra mile.

Be a giver with time, friendship, and money when and where possible.

10.) Be enthusiastic.

Have fun! It brings energy to people you’re with and rewards them in being with you. Never mail it in.

11.) Edify all success.

Promote and congratulate people for all levels of success. People like to be noticed – they probably do the same back to you.

12.) Be committed to people you team up with.

Have each other’s back. Pray for each other when they’re having troubles.

13.) Be honest all the time.

Your word is your worth; your worth is your word.

14.) Personal conduct.

If you wouldn’t do it in front of your family or people you work with, then why do you think you should do it all by yourself? Don’t be a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Remember there should never be double standards – ever. You don’t need to give people a reason to be skeptical of you – especially if they’re not a trusting person to begin with.

15.) Take personal responsibility for your decisions and actions.

This is something that is taught to kids early on. Why would it change as an adult? It’s not the alcohols fault you were drunk. It was your fault you were drunk and yours alone.

16.) Be accountable

Especially to those that are important to you. This includes friends and family. (If you’re at all spiritual or religious, don’t forget God.)

17.) Collective responsibility.

Aka Unity with your group. You win together, you lose together. It’s not the failure of one person on the team to fail, it’s the teams. (Example – it’s not the kicker’s fault he missed the last chance field goal, it was the team’s fault for putting him in a position where it was up to him to be the clutch guy. Ask Peyton Manning about this one…)

18.) Preparation

If you don’t prepare to win, you don’t deserve to win.

19.) Pride

Have pride in what you do and who you are. Be proud of your lineage. Be proud of your work ethic.

20.) Never settle for good. Go for the great.

No matter what happens, you have not arrived. Never settle for what you have now because you can always be better. Success only gives you a platform to be a motivator and helper of others. Create a vacuum of inspiration.

21.) Perform to your standards at all times.

So there are my standards. I’ll admit, I don’t live up to them all the time – I’m not perfect. But I don’t go out of my way to break them either. What are some standards that you’ve set in place that work for you and you work towards them?

Action Steps

There have been many times where I thought the rest of the world would profit quite a bit from the things I learned during my time in LTD. Many of the topics that were discussed were very eye opening. This was definitely one of those lessons.

Let me hear from you. What principles do you use regularly in your day to day life? They can be your own or items from this list.

self image

Eleven Quick Tips to Improve Your Self Image: A Big Part of Fulfilling Your Personal Mission

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As I’m approaching the release of my newest resource on finding a Personal Mission, I thought a good lead into the launch should involve some related content. Last week’s post was an example. Here’s another one.

This piece, originally posted on October 26th, 2010, is probably one of my favorite early posts.

I used to struggle with my self image a lot. A good part of it was because I didn’t have my own mission yet. I was a fish trying to compare myself to monkeys when it came to climbing trees. Perhaps just like you, I was told that climbing trees was the best career out there. Except it wasn’t really trees – it was “finding a job”.

It just wasn’t for me – and I eventually figured that out.

Even if you haven’t realized your own mission yet, you can start building your self image. While having your own mission does help with making these tips more practical, sometimes it helps to make the transition one small piece at a time. When you do have a high self image, you’ll have the required confidence to live the life you want. Without the confidence, there’s a good chance you won’t commit!

Getting out of Your Rut

In today’s world, society has forced many of us to be what we’re not. Making us feel like we’re somehow inadequate. For most people, this is considered the norm.

But the result is that it might leave us feeling stuck in a rut.

If you find yourself in this rut and not feeling like you actually appreciate yourself as much as you think you should, then there’s a good chance you have a low self image. As you’ve probably heard, having a good self image can help give someone more confidence. So, increasing your self image can help you with your personal life but it can even help with your professional life.

In the past, as I have worked with others in their self development path, one of the biggest problems I see most frequently are those that deal with self acceptance and self image. As I have personally struggled with my identity and these problems myself, I had plenty of time to figure out what worked and what didn’t… and several times over for others.

1. Clothes Do Make the Man (and Woman)

Yes, it’s an old cliche’, but that doesn’t make it any less true. A few years back, I remember a time when I didn’t really have any more than one oversized suit. Now I have several. Why? Because when we dress confidently, we feel confident. Try this experiment: for one week, dress like the person you want to be, NOT the person you think you are. This one is a simple change and can have the potential to dramatically improve your self image.

2. Keep Your Environment Tidy.

Keeping your house and car clean helps raise your self image. Most people like being in clean areas more than cluttered ones. Those same people tend to get depressed when they’re in a cluttered environment. So instead of submitting yourself to a environment that could prove to be depressing, put some effort into keeping your environment like that of a person you believe to have a higher self image would have. That doesn’t have to be spotless — maybe just organized and practical.

3. Stop Trying so Damn Hard.

Improving your self image should not be about struggling. Give up trying to be a perfectionist, and give yourself permission to be a human being who will naturally make mistakes sometimes. As I mentioned in my last post, detailitis is a disease of success. If you’re constantly searching for perfection, you’re constantly failing to achieve just that. So instead, just strive for excellence. A sure-fire way to feel inferior is to set the bar too high in every area of your life. Cut yourself some slack — you deserve it.

4. Focus Your Attention Outward.

One of my favorite quotes that I quote Zig Ziglar for saying is this: “Those who help enough other people get what they want, automatically get what they want in return.” Lack of confidence often causes people to focus an inordinate amount of attention inward, on the “self.” Make it a point to focus more attention on others than you do on yourself. Remember, confident people focus outward — insecure people focus inward.

5. Avoid Energy Drainers.

All of us know someone who seems to “suck the energy” out of a room just by entering. These negative people are all around us. They might even be your parents.  Give yourself permission to minimize contact with these people. Don’t hate them or judge them in any way. Just recognize that they do not improve the quality of your life, and minimize your connection with them.

6. Take a Chance.

Try something new and different that you may have been apprehensive about in the past. Enroll in an adult education class, or join a book club, gym, bowling league or other social pastime. Anything that will get you out of your shell.  The change will do you good, and your self image will improve!

7. Be a Giver.

The Golden Rule states: “Do onto others as you would have them do onto you.” With that in mind, start giving what you want to receive in life. If you want people to treat you that you’re a confident and human person, Make other people feel as confident and human as you can. When you build up others, you are sure to get back the same thing. Call it karma or what ever you like – it always works!

8. Practice Forgiving Others.

Many people are very hard on themselves because, deep down, there’s something in their past that they would rather forget. If you’re clinging to some failure or transgression from the past, you should realize that you are doing so. Then forgive yourself completely for what it was. Likewise, if someone else did something that you’ve been holding a grudge against. Forgive them and don’t hold that grudge. It’s belittling of people to hold grudges.

9. Learn how to talk to Yourself.

In fact, this is the topic of one of my favorite books. “What to Say When You Talk to Yourself” Some people repeat affirmations such as “I have a great self image,” which is fine, but you can improve your affirmation results by using leading questions such as, “why am I so confident?” When you ask yourself a question like this, your subconscious mind operates in a very simple manner.  It will immediately go to work looking for the answer, and it will report back to you all of the ways you already are confident. This, in turn, will boost your self image.

10. “Model” Other Confident People.

One way to improve your self image is to model the behavior of people whom you consider to be supremely confident. If you can befriend a very confident person, that’s great. But if not, just find an actor or other celebrity who is confidence personified, and study their behavior. Do this several times a week, and some of their confident mannerisms are bound to rub off on you.

11. Practice Being Thankful.

This one might seem a little weird and/or tedious. However, a grateful mind is a peaceful mind, and a peaceful mind radiates confidence. While you’re building your self image, practice making a daily gratitude list. Particularly focus on different aspects of yourself that you appreciate. Maybe you are a great swimmer, or good at math, or really strong, or a good dancer, or have an unusual sense of humor, or are good at design, or a great singer, or a really good friend, or any number of other positive attributes. Look for what is great about you, and then be grateful you have those qualities. Appreciating your good qualities will improve self-confidence, and help you develop the kind of positive self image that is crucial to success in life.

Action Steps

So, again, if you haven’t figured out what your mission is, that’s not a problem. It can be hard to go after your own thing if you don’t have the confidence in yourself to do so yet.

That said, even if you have your mission figured out but you’re not quite sure how to pursue it yet – don’t hesitate to start working these habits into your life. There’s a good chance you’ve already worked on a few of them, but utilizing all of them might possibly help boost your results.

self mastery

12 Principles for Self Mastery: How I Went from a Scarcity Mindset to one of Abundance

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For me, it’s important to go over some of these past articles to see how far I’ve come. This one is another classic post from my days in LTD.

As I’ve expressed in several posts, it was during this time that I learned what would later become the foundation of all my entrepreneurial knowledge. It was inexpensive training that I thought (and still think) anyone could benefit from. That said, MLM’s are not for everyone. So that’s why I wrote these pieces early on – to help bring that knowledge to a wider group.

In this post originally dated December 4th, 2011, I list 12 principles which were really important to me at the time. They helped me move from a scarcity mindset to one that was more abundant.

If you’re looking for some good principles to base your self improvement on – this is a good place to start! Enjoy!

As you know, I’m making a major push in my life to actually get things done that I’ve wanted to achieve for several years now. One of those things is hire a professional coach. It’s been almost a year since mom passed, and I really need to get moving forward with creating a my own functional business. With the release of the LTD Media and Message Apps, I have been reminded more frequently of my Amway business, but truth be told – I haven’t taken much action. So I believe a coach there will surely help.

One thing I’ve realized during my time in LTD is that I want to surround myself with people who have an abundant thinking process. While not everyone has the same personality (some are more emotion oriented than others), I believe that living a life of abundance is something everyone can do.

It’s just a few core principles away – specifically 12.

So here are those principles I hope you can use to get out of whatever funk you might be finding yourself in!

The Principles of Self Mastery

1. Challenges aren’t Problems, They’re Opportunities

Problems are negative by definition. When you call a challenge an opportunity, then it’s turned into a positive situation where you can learn, grow, and meet your full potential.

2. Walls of Opportunity

With the previous statement, we see that obstacles in our life are there for us to grow and learn from. We can learn how to go over, go around, go under or exterminate problems in our lives. Once we do this, they’re no longer an unsolvable barrier to limit us from who we are.

3. Ideal or Nothing

It’s not ready, aim, fire. It’s ready, fire, aim. It is always better to take dumb action even though it’s not the exact action you want to take. Don’t miss opportunities because you’re trying to find or force the perfect one.

4. Time vs Priorities

Everyone that is, has been, or will be, has had the same amount of time in a day, week, month, and year (unless, of course, we colonize another planet with a different definition of time). With that said, the reason why people don’t achieve more in their life is because they don’t know how to prioritize better than what they’re currently prioritizing. Next time you’re tempted to say “I don’t have time,” remember yourself that you determined yourself that it was you who determined it wasn’t a high enough priority. Doing this will help you realize what you really value and how you can prioritize tasks and activities.

5. Good vs. Great

The enemy of Great isn’t bad – it’s good. Many times we don’t achieve something great because we didn’t do something bad, it’s because we did something good and settled for that particular result.

6. Thinking Not Knowing

Have you ever thought about the response “I don’t know” when you asked someone “What do you think?”? If you think about it, that’s not even the right response to that question. No one asked what the other person knows – they were asked what they thought. If someone asks you what you think, don’t be afraid to let them know what you think. If anything, you open up dialogue and communication with others.

7. The Multiplier Rule

When we take positive action, that action will be multiplied into two positive actions and so on. This rule could also be thought of as the Domino Effect as well as “adding a zero to a partner’s income”.

8. Values in Life

Whatever your values are, it is important to know what yours are and to make choices that are logically connected to them.

9. Roller Coaster Effect

Inconsistent action leads to a roller coaster effect of results. The more consistent your activity is in getting a result, the more likely it will be that you get that result. Consistent effort and follow through will make a huge difference in achieving your goals and dreams.

10. Focus and Duplication

You can do more with your time if you realize that 20% of your effort produces 80% of yours results. Once you know what 20%, spend your time on that 20% and figure out what tools, people, and systems can help with the other 80% of that effort. Don’t focus on making people exact copies of you – help them become a better version of themselves and show them where they fit into the big picture.

11. Stewardship

What gifts and traits do you naturally possess? What traits do others have? Figure out your strengths and share them with those less fortunate. If you do not, they will lose, but you will have the biggest loss. Help someone today!!

12. Never Quit

Mistakes and errors are learning opportunities. They’re not disastrous!! Learn from them and move on. You’ll be better the next time!! Failure to do so will result in disaster.

Action Steps

So really nothing to out of the ordinary here, right? I’ll tell you, when I first heard them, they made sense – but it didn’t seem like life could be THAT easy!!

Over time, though, I’ve realized that they have a ton of merit. Just like the Four Agreements.

Speaking of which, how do you think they relate to the Four Agreements or other rules that you might have heard? What would you add to this list? Let me know below in the comments!

 

education reform

Education Reform: Why It’s Important for Creatives to Get Involved

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With everything that’s been going on in the news cycle, I thought it’d be a great time to bring up the topic of education system reform. Seems this topic isn’t discussed nearly as much as it could be.

I believe that our current education system is part of the problem in both the National Socialist vs International Communist debate as well as people not seeking appropriate shelter from Hurricane Harvey. Personally, in my teens and twenties, for example, I wouldn’t have stuck around to get hit by a hurricane. And when it comes to protests, even when I felt the need to get involved with one, I would have ducked out whenever it got violent and the police showed up.

Today, in both situations, people are playing the role of victim and not taking responsibility for their own actions. They’re saying that the government needs to take more control and tell them or the other side what to do.

The question is… can you blame them? Not necessarily.

In recent years, it appears that the greater education system has practically said it’s ok to act this way. (Safe spaces anyone???)

However, I don’t believe that’s the truth. And in fact, successful people are only successful based on their own desires and efforts. They’re the ones who have put in the extra time and commitment to make their dreams come true.

Sure others help them along the way, but it’s because they made the initial effort to do more in life. Once they began on their own journey, they met people along the way who were going in the same direction.

So how can we make the world a better place? Help change how students are educated.

Changing Education for the Better

What does that even mean?

Since this post was originally published on October 14, 2010, I’ve heard of various schools doing better work with their students. Traditional schools are starting to make classes that help their students realize their full potential.

Unfortunately, this isn’t necessarily the norm.

In fact, in Indiana, we still have what are called Core 40 diplomas. To many, it might be considered common sense to educate people in a well rounded manner. However, sometimes that model simply doesn’t work. Some of the individuals who are on the route to get a Core 40 diploma might have done better in a field that school can’t even touch; such as learning how to be a performing artist, an athlete, community leader, or even being a great business builder. (Personally I’m a knowledge junkie, so school was always a drug for me… except for the tests!)

Discussing Possible Solutions:

In the below RSA Animate, I wanted to share with you a video which introduced me to a guy by the name of Sir Ken Robinson. Great guy and has totally changed my perspective in why public education needs to be separated from public schooling.

It was after listening to him, that I was able to start putting two and two together. Soon after, I was re-introduced to Gary Vaynerchuk (not the Wine Library version, but instead the version we know today). If you didn’t know, Gary is completely for Education Reform (start at 12:30):

And then, I was later introduced to the School Sucks Project with Brett Veinotte. Here’s the first episode of the show from 2009. Later in the show’s life, it kinda went away from why I originally tuned in – but those first 20 or so episodes are great material.

 

Something Else to Consider

In many states, the classes that are usually cut first in public schooling are not your STEM classes. They’re not the reading, writing, or social studies classes either. For many systems, they are the “optional” classes. This includes the art, the music, and other “special” classes. You can clearly see which classes are more important to various school boards based on the classes they cut. The problem is that there are students who excel in these special classes more so than the other classes they’re in. That being the case, you can probably understand why I’ve never really been a fan of the “No Child Left Behind” act.

Generally speaking, its result has been to limit everyone’s potential to the same standardized schooling.

So why are these classes the ones normally on the chopping block? I believe it’s because many standardized tests are primarily focused on testing upon vocabulary, math, and writing. The better these test scores are in primary schooling, the better a student can perform in secondary schooling. After being in secondary school myself as a student for 9 years, I realized one main thing about learning in a “formal” secondary education: it makes you better at following orders and instructions. It makes you better suited to work a job.

 

Changing the Education System

Government isn’t the Answer:

So, I believe it’s up to us – the Creatives, the Entrepreneurs, the Rebels – whatever you want to call us – to start coming up with alternative methods of educating those around us.

The world is moving too quickly to let the old system continue to be the primary method of education. Not only that, but those who are in control of it, have no problem teaching its students that it’s ok to rely on the government to provide security.

That’s not what the government is for.

We Need to Empower People’s Individual Strengths – Not Give a One Size Fits All Solution:

In the past five years, I have become even more aware that there are other talents that could be measured for intelligence. However, for one reason or another they are not. And, in fact, the evidence is piling up.

Outside of the types that IQ measures (being linguistic verbal and logical mathematical), nine different types of intelligence have been identified.

Many private primary and secondary school systems have taken note of this as well. They have started to focus on developing intellectual leaders in different fields of intelligence. I’m convinced that making this a vital part of education is the answer to making any country, including the U.S., a player in the new economy.

However, most students still go through the traditional education curriculum that is still rated by a very narrow measure. This worries me. I find it disconcerting that many students are still being taught and measured in a way that is only useful in following directions. The problem today is that with the today’s global economy, this mindset has given us a 10% unemployment rate.

I believe the longer that this goes unchecked, the higher our future unemployment rates will go. It will be the result of an ever increasing ratio of people who should be taught to excel at their strength vs those who are mentored in their natural strengths. In other words, there will be a heck of alot more people trying to take orders than giving them.

Conclusion:

So here’s the bottom line.

It’s been 8 years since I got my masters. It’s been 5 since I haven’t taught in formal education.

I don’t believe it’s totally fair to try and pin every one down in one or two measurements of intelligence. Especially when we’re told by so many people that we need to celebrate our differences.

But funny enough, that’s what the US’s Prussian Education based system focuses on doing.

We have to help others get more creative. Period. We can’t rely on the schooling system to do it. In fact, we have to separate public education from public schooling.

Lack of creativity is hurting the US. If the US is in trouble, the rest of the world can’t be doing so hot. People still come here to get away from the crap that’s going on in their homelands.

We have to remain the the shining city on the hill.

So that being the case – I’m curious. Are you connected to public primary or secondary schooling? Have you seen any signs of a change to focus more on building students in other types of intelligence? If so, what results do you predict from that change?