In this post (originally posted August 6th, 2012) I talk about why it’s important to not dwell in the negatives. Since I originally posted it, I’ve personally grown to come to a point where I think it’s necessary to see the negative in the world – but to not dwell on it. However, I think to get to that point, you have to actually detox from a negative world and mindset. Only then will you be able to be aware of all of all the stuff we’re being barraged with day after day.
It’s at that point that you’ll be able to make better choices for yourself.
So how do you enter a positive mental space when all the messages you receive are negative by nature?
Here’s a few pointers:
This morning I had the opportunity to be on a coaching call with a gal by the name of Linda. She is battling cancer. Horrifying to to even think about, right? Well… yeah, of course!!
However, what separates Linda from a lot of people, especially those that are going through a tough patch in life, is that while she could be focusing on the negative, she actually chooses to focus on the positive. Even when she’s going through radiation treatments in “gray, dark, lifeless rooms”, she still manages to jokingly say to the staff “It would be nice if we could have some colors in here!”.
Linda doesn’t have to have this courage. She doesn’t have to fill her life with laughter and continued hope. She could easily give in and fill every second and every minute with negativity. But she doesn’t.
I’m sure Linda is not alone in her perspective. In fact, I know that a lot of people who beat cancer actually keep a positive perspective on life as they’re going through treatment. I wonder what the ratio of positive cancer survivors to negative cancer survivor is… I’d be willing to bet that the positive outweighs the negative.
Choosing to Be Happy and…
What I’ve found out since Mom’s passing is that you can either dwell on the negative or you can get energy from the positive. Either way – you’re going to have to live life! Might as well make it a good experience than a bad one, right?
Once I make that decision to be happy, I have to be able to do something to actually back that decision up. Interestingly enough, nothing makes most people more happy than helping others. Either they enjoy the act of giving to those other people – or they love the feeling they receive from getting recognized for making an impact. Either way, they get something out of it.
I’ve been thinking recently that depression is the opposite of happiness, right? And since one can be happy with helping others, doesn’t it make since that depression comes from the lack of involvement with people? Perhaps Expressives are probably more prone to going through depression due to their need of being the center of attention? That’s an interesting concept…
Adding to that – another thing that leads to happiness is not only having people in your life – but those that you can call positive anchors. Look for those people to share common things with and then get involved with them on a more personal level!
Actions to ‘Happiness’:
What keeps you happy? It’s different for everyone – but a big part of it is sharing with others. Whether you’re an introvert with a few close friends or an extrovert with plenty of them, you always feel better when you share experiences with others.
What if you don’t know what to share with others? Then here’s a few more steps I’ve found for myself.. (I’m pretty sure I’ve covered this before.)
- Figure out your passions. (Passions are things that you do automatically and make you happy.)
- Determine your purpose from your passions. All 6 Billion people in this world have different passions thus they have a different purpose. Those that identify themselves as their job usually don’t know their individual purpose.
- From your purpose – figure out a plan that includes helping or sharing with others.
- Figure out where those others group together and then execute (find them)!!
- Keep out all negative sources from your life as much as possible. In the end, there’s nothing more unsettling and unproductful than negative sources. This includes most news, gossip, and other negative people. (Sometimes that last one is EXTREMELY difficult.)
If you’re following your purpose then you’re automatically not giving into negativity because you’re doing exactly what makes you happy!!
- Bonus: Once you execute, there’s a good possibility that if you’re bringing enough value to enough other people – you might be able to make income on your passion! (Don’t let this be the reason you do what you do, though!!)
So – how about you? What are great ways that you’ve learned to get and stay happy? Does true happiness always revolve around others? Please, as usual, share your thoughts below!! Look forward to expanding my understanding of this topic!