When I wrote about Jim Vaughan’s String Story last week, my intention was to share with you that many times you have to bring in the great by building on the good. There will be times in life you’ll have the opportunity to settle for what is good, but as you might have heard, Great’s number one adversary is not Bad but Good. As in, “that’s good enough”.
One thing that I touched on that I said that I would talk about in the future was a subject I’ve coined “romantic debt”.
Today, many people think that Hollywood’s perspective on love and the whole “love at first sight” thought mentality is the way that “love” is supposed to work. They think that they can fall in love with someone right away. This is why there is a phrase called “friend zoning”. You’re either a friend or you’re a romantic interest – especially with young women.
But many times, I see these types of relationships come falling apart in flames. Why? Because the couple hadn’t repaid their romantic debt. Romantic debt is the friendship you have to develop when you’re developing a romantic relationship. The time that you have to put in with the other person to find out who they are and why you would even want to be with them for life. It’s not an easy decision by any means. Especially not one that you can make with the first couple of meetings.
I’m not saying that you can’t fall in “love” with someone right away – but what I will say is that normally that type of love is actually lust. Someone that feels this love for someone else is infatuated with that other person; they can’t get them out of their mind. This is the definition of lust. Unfortunately, this lust or “immediate chemistry” is what most people consider to be true love.
True Love: Filling the Love Tank
I once read a book called The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate “>The Five Love Languages. In that book, I learned that true love is not only a form of friendship, but it’s also an emotional investment that can take on the form of 5 different types. An investment that both sides will have to put into the relationship for it to work. The problem with confusing true love with lust is that lust eventually ends. If all the relationship has is this type of love and no emotional investment, then it is doomed. Without having putting any investment in the relationship, then there’s no true love fuel for the fire. The Love Tank has emptied and the fire has been blown out due to the winds of life. This is why so many modern marriages end in divorce. In fact, I’d be willing to bet that this is why Kim Kardashian’s marriage was only 72 days long. They really hadn’t formed a real friendship nor put in any emotional investment into one another.
In the comment section, please share your thoughts. This is a very important subject that I know is on a lot of people’s minds and one that I don’t have much experience on myself, so please share what you think because we’re all here to help each other!
Thanks, and I look forward to reading your responses!