positive and negative effects of technology

Veronica Kirin – Chronicling the Stories of Elders: Exploring the Positive and Negative Effects of Technology Through the Years (AoL 132)

The phrase “I’d walk in 5 ft snow and blowing winds BOTH WAYS to school!” or something similar is a pre-internet meme that many of us think of when we think of stories from our grandparents. This generation, dubbed the “Greatest Generation” saw tons of changes in their lives – from civil rights to electricity and TV in every house. Over the years, technology changed the way they lived, worked, and even played.

Unfortunately, with each passing year, there are fewer members of this generation around to share their wisdom.

Today’s guest, and regular cohost of the show, Veronica Kirin made it her goal to get perspectives from this generation about something we all take for granted today: technology.

By chronicling more than 8,000 years of life lived, driving 11,000 miles across more than 40 states, she accomplished this goal.

In today’s conversation, we’ll be talking to her about how it all went down and some of the things she learned from the experience of publishing her first book.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What attracted Veronica to becoming a thought leader? 7:26
  • How did the rebranding of her company go? 10:24
  • What platform has she struggled with getting into as she’s building her brand? 12:21
  • Why did she opt to write a book when many people’s preferred format is video or audio these days? 14:36
  • Is there anything she would have changed in making the book as she’s finished the project? 18:04
  • What actually triggered Veronica to pursue writing the book? 19:36
  • How did she come up with the list of individuals she wanted to visit? 23:19
  • Was her Kickstarter campaign a success? 25:00
  • How did the knowledge of all the stories she heard changed her perspective on how we’ve changed as a culture? 27:59
  • How can we be more intentional in our use of technology? 31:30
  • What’s on the horizon for Veronica in the near future? 45:08
  • Which books are her favorite books to give or tell others about? 48:32
  • Something she’s been learning about and wanting to implement more? 52:37
  • If she could, is there any business she would want to magically have? 53:43
  • What’s something that would horrify a person from 100 years ago? 54:31
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 55:39

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Your Grandmother Uses Technology Better Than You
>

Why This Work is Important

Self Care Through Scaling

You Don’t Work for Henry Ford


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

negative effects of social media

7 Negative Effects of Social Media on Society & the Entrepreneur

In recent episodes of the podcast, I’ve talked about how I’ve started avoiding social media as much as possible.

This is a huge turn around from someone who at one point completely embraced having social experiences online. Even though I’m a Xennial, one of the main reasons I relate with Millennials so much is that I took to social media like a duck to water.

Technology was always easy for me. In fact, I was a online geek before it was cool.

I embraced chat rooms, messaging, blogging, and online purchases way before they were mainstream.

Thing is, since its inception social media has changed into somewhat of a popularity game.

Does popularity equal success?

What I’ve come to find out, for me personally, is that it doesn’t necessarily correlate.

And it might be time for a lot of us struggling entrepreneurs to re-check our own desires before we continue down this path.

 

Designed With You In Mind

There have been a few instances where people who helped start social sites have actually logged off permanently from their own creations.

In the above linked article, it reads…

Former Facebook vice president of user growth Chamath Palihapitiya said that social media is “eroding the core foundations of how people behave” and that he feels “tremendous guilt” about creating tools that are “ripping apart the social fabric.

He adds,

We curate our lives around this perceived sense of perfection because we get rewarded in these short-term signals—hearts, likes, thumbs up—and we conflate that with value, and we conflate it with truth. And instead what it really is is fake, brittle popularity that’s short-term and that leaves you even more—admit it—vacant and empty before you did it, because then it forces you into this vicious cycle where you’re like “What’s the next thing I need to do now because I need it back?”

In short, those of us who scroll through Facebook regularly are being subjected to material that has an impact on our self-esteem.

You might be wondering how this is actually being done? What are some examples? Well, here’s a few things that we’re being subjected to without really even realizing it:

Ads

When it comes to ads on TV, magazines, and other media, we tend to block it out.

However, we’re programmed to believe that the newest trends are found on social. Therefore, we’re somewhat oblivious to the advertising that is there. Mainly because they’re tuned to relate to our interests, we only see things that we would buy. So whenever we see an ad by our favorite company, thought leader, or celebrity, we’re actually being coerced to think in a specific way: to buy!

Showing Only The Best of Life

Just about everyone who posts on social media only does so when notable things are happening. Just think of family and friends who are known for this. Are their lives really that great? If you’re not around them regularly in person, you might just think so!

Likewise, same thing goes for people who seem they’re on all the time and posting great content. However, this doesn’t mean that that’s how their reality actually is.

Many times these posts are carefully planned and the result is something that has been rehearsed.

 

Keeping Up with the Jones’

Even if we’re not seeing these “fake” posts, we might still feel that our social network is at a higher place than we currently are in life. Many of us who have used social media regularly start to use it as an extension of our identity. That means that all those videos, photos, and mini-novels we’re posting are pieces of ourselves.

If you don’t have all those things posted, then you might feel that you’re not keeping up in appearances. This in itself might just make you feel like you’re not up to par.

 

Need for Attention

When we first make an account on a social media platform, we might have done so to not only see what’s going on in the world, but to also let others know what we’re doing.

However, often times when we post a picture or video and only get a few likes or hearts, we might wonder why – often times feeling rejected.

 

Fake Connections

When many of us first started our accounts on Facebook, it was the norm to only add people you knew or met in real life. In fact, it was downright weird to add people you didn’t know.

Later, when games started showing up, the more friends we invited and added to the game, the more points or credits we might have received.

The problem is that we only knew so many people who played games on Facebook, so many gamers started adding people that they found in those games to play with. (This isn’t anything new – it’s how online gaming normally works.)

As time went on, it became the norm to add more random people based on other things we mutually liked or barely conversed with in some group (if at all!).

If we have a number of these connections, we might feel that it’s necessary to stay in front of these folks – especially if we have a business. Many of them might be potential leads.

But the truth is that many of these “online friends” are adding you for their own purposes. Maybe they simply want you to be part of their audience for their videos and posts. Or maybe they just want to max out their friend count so they appear as if they have a strong following to others.

Either way, don’t put much time into making these people happy if they’re not regularly engaging with you. They’re probably not even paying attention to what you’re posting because they’re too involved with what they’re doing.

 

Knowledge

There are a ton of groups on Facebook which look like they’re a group to foster relationships between like minded people. Unfortunately, these groups are often made with an end goal in mind. Many times that end goal is you buying something from the founder.

However, you might feel that you’re outsmarting the system by soaking in everything they freely post in that group and making the connections yourself.

If this is the case, you’re actually doing yourself a disservice.

Truth is, you’re not an expert like them and there very well could be something that they’re leaving out on purpose to keep you coming back in search of that one piece.

You probably won’t know until you buy that missing piece through their course.

 

Attention Interruptions

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve noticed people filming things on their phone where they should be simply enjoying the moment and soaking it in. Or, maybe they’re on their phone when they should be engaging with those around them.

The thing is that many of us are not fully engaged in our daily lives because we’re too busy documenting our activities to make us look interesting on social media. (For online business owners, it’s even more common!)

However, depriving ourselves of these fulfilling moments will work against us in the long run. We might feel a lower connection with those around us than we wish we did. We might not have many recent epic memories where we’re not holding the phone up in front of us.

If you find yourself wanting to do a better job of chronicling your experiences, then you might consider enjoying the moment first and then before the end, making sure you got a picture of what was going on and everyone involved. That might make more sense then to record the entire thing.

 

Action Steps

So guys, this post was simply about building awareness.

We all need to think about whether income is more important to us than popularity. If so, you don’t have to have a huge audience to make a good monthly income.

In fact, I know of several people who are millionaires that only started building their thought leader following once they were financially successful. JR Rivas (AoL Podcast 104) is one of those guys. Another is Damion Lupo (AoL Podcast 125).

Give it some thought and be more aware of how others are influencing you to think!

being authentic

Be Wholeheartedly Present: Why Being Authentic Is the Shortcut to Success with Tanya Conner-Green (AoL 131)

There’s been a lot said about passion in the career of an entrepreneur. Some would argue that it’s important to bring passion to whatever kind of work you’re doing. Others would say that the work you do actually has to have part of its roots in a passion so that we have prolonged energy to do it.

I would say that today’s guest would agree with the second perspective.

Having been very successful in her past corporate life as well as landing a “dream job”, she started feeling a yearning for more. While at the time she didn’t know what that “more” was, she would later find out that it was a desire for more fulfillment.

She started to realize that she needed to start living her life with more purpose.

Eventually finding this purpose in coaching, Tanya Conner-Green is doing work that she feels specifically called for.

Can you say the same for the work you’re doing?

In today’s conversation, we find out how she got to this point in her career and more about the fulfillment she now has in the work she does.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • Where did Tanya’s nickname “little pitbull” come from? 6:00
  • How was she first inspired to start her own business? 8:42
  • When did she decide that she wanted to fully pursue her own thing? 15:41
  • What’s a few ways that she believes thought leaders can use to better connect with their audience? 21:59
  • Is there a proper mindset to have when making sales funnels and Facebook ads? 35:16
  • What are issues Tanya enjoys helping others with when it comes to limiting beliefs? 41:41
  • What are some tips for those who might be struggling with journaling? 48:24
  • Does she have any good tips for coaches when it comes to running their actual business? 50:34
  • What’s got her excited for the rest of this year? 57:07
  • What are her top 3 influential podcasts? 58:48
  • In the last 5 years what new habit has improved her life? 1:00:55
  • Is there something she thinks most people don’t realize is a huge waste of money? 1:02:36
  • What is something she believed as a 25 year old but doesn’t today? 1:04:44
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 1:06:47

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Work Smarter, Not Harder

Sales Funnels for Attracting High End Clients

Using the Facebook Pixel to Get Dream Clients

Scheduling Your Day for 6 Figure Success


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

fear of change

Avoid Stagnation by Embracing Our Fear of Change

If you’ve been following along in the blog and listening to the podcast, you guys might have realized that in the past year I’ve started being a bit more sporadic in when I’m putting out content.

About a year ago, the podcast went to being released every other week. Then, in the last couple of months, I’ve started posting blog posts roughly every other week as well.

As I’ve ramped down the production in my deliverables, I’ve started working on other projects. Specifically, I’ve started working with Harrison on Amplify here in Indy quite a bit. I’ve been working on becoming a representative for a company I’m looking forward to telling you guys about. And I’ve also been spending some time doing a bit more travel. Since the beginning of the year, I’ve visited Honduras and went to San Diego three times.

When I was delivering content every week, I simply didn’t have the capacity to do any of this.

However, it wasn’t an easy decision. I did this, my mind would try to talk me out of it pretty regularly. I’d find myself asking these questions…

I’ve built a fair amount of momentum with New Inceptions to this point, what if letting up on content delivery has a negative result?

Will the online relationships I’ve built in the last couple of years fall apart?

Maybe Indy isn’t the right place to build an entrepreneurial community?

What would my inspirations think of me who continue to pour out content on a weekly basis?

What if…?

 

These were all things that COULD go wrong. But my reality was that working on New Inceptions like I was, was wrong for me.

I was simply burning myself out and wasn’t fulfilling all that I wanted to do.

So, I had to make a change. Now I have it set that I have two week schedules. I call them ‘A’ and ‘B’ weeks. On A weeks, I’ll continue to release content as before. But on ‘B’ weeks, I’ll be making more of an effort to do things locally, work on other larger projects, or travel.

 

Seeking an Entrepreneurial Community

I’ve always had a belief that the Midwest is full of hard working individuals. Many times, those same individuals are so focused on what they’re doing, that they don’t look around to see what opportunities are passing them by.

One thing that has passed us by is the advent of the online entrepreneurial community.

When I think of the success of the thought leaders that have inspired me, I realize that most of them have had their success in towns that have already established these communities. In fact, I know people who have moved from places without these communities to those like San Diego, San Francisco, and Portland simply due to this access.

It’s much easier to build an audience on the shoulders of others who have already built theirs. And the best way to get access to their audience is to engage with them in the real world.

Working on New Inceptions the way I was… I realized I was isolated. It simply wasn’t going to work. I had to reach out.

Enter Collaborate 317.

When I first started working with those that were in Collaborate 317 last year, I had no idea what kind of impact it’d have on my work.

At the time, I simply wanted to connect with other like minded individuals in the area and feature them on the “Junto Show”. However, when the doors of C317 closed, I had a question come up in my head – what was my mission? What was the mission of the Junto group in the first place? Was it the same as New Inceptions as a whole? Were they same?

As I came to an answer, I started to realize that working with people in real life means just as much to me as engaging with people online – maybe even more so.

 

Discovering My Personal Mission

As I started engaging more and more with people in my area, I realized that much of the knowledge that I had picked up over the years was very valuable to them. When I would discuss with them names I thought were common in the world of entrepreneurship, they’d be like “Who?”.

As large as us online entrepreneurs and thought leaders might think that the industry is, I really believe that we’re way off. In fact, I think it’s like comparing the number of people who have graduated from college to those who haven’t. When you’re in the process of going to and graduating college, you think it’s pretty common. But funny thing is, it’s pretty special that you got through – even today when a lot of jobs require a bachelor’s.

So what I’ve realized that it’s my job too help Harrison and our friend Josh “The Bach” Bach, build an offline community with Amplify. The goal of Amplify is to simply help those who haven’t been connected yet, get connected and see what’s truly available to them in today’s world. Not only do that, but give them the support as they reach up to the next level of their career.

Once we prove our prototype here in Indy, we plan to create chapters all over the world.

 

Why Add this Complexity?

Some might wonder why I’d choose this path instead of just leaving Indy and moving to a city like San Diego

While I really do appreciate the weather there, the places I’ve been are great places to visit, but they’re just not home.

One of the things that I’ve learned about myself is that one of my fundamental beliefs is that anyone is capable of doing anything – provided that their talents allow it.

Sure, it’s easier to join people who already going in the same direction at the same speed, but for me, it’s much more fulfilling to bring others up to speed with me.

Plus since it’s not as saturated here in the Midwest, it allows me to get in on the ground floor and become a founder of the movement. Being able to build a community that I know already works elsewhere is really exciting.

Interestingly, when I think about it… when I’m working with other people in smaller sessions, I really feel that I get the opportunity to improve my skills as a teacher as well as a person.

 

Fear and Stagnation

So as I’m excited for this new part of my journey, I can’t help but think about the problems that we’re working with these founders and entrepreneurs on. The biggest thing I’ve run into is that they’re running into this exact situation that I’m talking about in this post.

They fear the pain of loss more so than wanting to succeed.

But this is totally explainable. Fear and worry can be very important. In our evolution, they’ve kept our ancestors safe. So technically we’re hard wired to be fearful.

The issue is when it comes to exploring new projects or changing our business up a little… we’re not really in a life threatening situation. Even though it might really feel that way.

Living with this fear over a long period of time can in fact cause the opposite of what we want for ourselves. In can cause us to stagnate and stay in place. And what’s potentially worse, it might suck out the joy that we got from our work when we first set out in the first place.

Embrace the Fear of the Unknown


To prevent this, we need to allow ourselves to explore the unknown. We must acknowledge that being uncomfortable with the unknown isn’t forever. We’ll gain experience with whatever we’re doing and learn.

Just like I have with the podcast.

So there’s your choice when you get stuck in a rut: Either stay uncomfortable doing things because that’s the way it’s been done in the past, or embrace the suck of experimenting with things that could be.

 

Action Steps

So what are you doing in your work or business that you feel simply isn’t doing it for you. Did it ever? Or were you just doing what you thought was the right thing to do?

If you feel like you’re in a rut, it’s time to get thinking about what your ideal situation would be. What must you do to get to that point?

As usual, I’d love to engage with you in the comments below. Let’s brainstorm together!

podcast interview

Do-It-Yourself Publicity – How to Land Your Next Podcast Interview on Your Own with Millette Jones (AoL 130)

When you’re first starting out as a thought leader or creative entrepreneur, it can seem pretty daunting. Where do you even start? Do you build a few products that illustrate who you are and what you can help others with? Or do you start creating an audience right away and then make a product for them later?

Likewise, when it comes to getting your name out there, there are many paths one can take. You can hire a publicist, a booking agent, or in the case of today’s guest, you can utilize the knowledge of someone who can help you do it all yourself.

This session’s guest, Millette Jones, is host of the Unstoppable Coach podcast. Through her work she helps entrepreneurs learn how their story is important and understand how sharing it can propel their business to success.

On top of her podcast, she supports entrepreneurs with podcast publicity coaching, a membership site for DIY podcast interview marketing and her signature program: Podguesting for Profits.

In today’s conversation, Harrison and I speak with Millette to find out about her ups and downs as an entrepreneur and how you can use your own story to rise above the crowd.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Millette become a coach? 10:21
  • How was she first exposed to the podcasting world? 16:08
  • What are some ways that she suggests that can help people rise above the crowd? 17:27
  • What are some tips to stay focused as an entrepreneur? 22:54
  • How does someone overcome broken business relationships? 26:38
  • What’s first? Creating awareness or building a product or service? 28:43
  • How can a guest best prepare themself for being on a podcast? 33:50
  • Where does Millette see her work in the next couple of years? 39:48
  • What are 3 podcasts that have helped shaped her as a podcaster? 43:47
  • What’s something that she has gotten better at saying no to? 46:00
  • Is there something in the podcasting world that Millette is excited about? 47:45
  • What’s it mean to live a life of abundance? 53:11

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Dan Lok Interview (Full Length)

Chris Gardner Interview (Full Length)

Shane Sams on Recording a Podcast in a Car

Pat Flynn on Starting Your Podcast in 2018 (Equipment and Software)


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

mental wellness

Mental Wellness & the Creative Entrepreneur

Over the weekend, there was yet another mass shooting. 11 people were injured, 3 people – including the gunman – were killed.

At this point, we’re not sure what caused the guy to do what he did. But many would guess that it was the fact that he was upset that he didn’t do as well as he wanted. He took it out on those who, in his mind, he could blame for his failure.

In the last couple of years, we’ve seen all kinds of people acting out in similar fashions. Whether it’s the series of mass shootings we’ve seen or it’s those cases where the person opted to take  take their own life, creatives seem to be pretty prone to being involved in either situation.

 

Nature of Success

One might think that those of us who have had success in our lives, that we might be able to rise above these thoughts. Unfortunately, that just simply isn’t the case. As The Notorious B.I.G. said, “Mo Money, Mo Problems!”

I’ve mentioned this before, but those who are often the most depressed are the ones who usually have the fire to become successful. They think that money, fame, and freedom will solve their woes. But in the end, they don’t. They’re as unhappy as they were when they first started.

If these things made us happier with life, then there’s a good chance that people like Robin Williams, Chester Bennington, Kate Spade, and Anthony Bourdain would still be around.

 

We’re Aliens

Recently I came across a new video by the infamous group Die Antwoord. If you’ve never heard their music, then the best way to describe their work is if you mixed a hip-hop artist with an EDM DJ.

It’s not for everyone. However, the message they produce with their songs is one of the most creative I’ve seen in the last decade.

In the case of this video and song, they’re talking about not fitting in.

Here’s a few of the lyrics

I close my eyes and float into the night I like to let my mind drift

Make a jump into a new dimension

Thank God I got that gift

Sometimes it feels like coming from this planet people are so sick and twisted

I don’t wanna fit in anyway, I’d rather be a misfit

They laugh at me because I’m different, I laugh at them because they’re all the same

I am a alien

No matter how hard I try I don’t fit in

Always all on my own, sad and lonely

All I want is for someone to play with me

mental wellness

Do you feel like an alien? If so, know you’re not alone.

 

If I’m understanding this song correctly, I appreciate its message. When I was growing up, I was bullied constantly. Sure, I was the biggest kid in my grade, but I was also a pretty big geek compared to my classmates. And in my small town, that was two strikes right there!

However, looking back, I can now say that I was definitely a proto-millennial. I always had a better time interacting with kids who were younger than me. It’s one of the main reasons why I’m proud to be called a Xennial.

But man, when I was in the thick of it – where it got especially bad was my first few of years at Purdue. In high school, the one thing that saved me was that I was a good student. However, when I started at Purdue I struggled to get C’s in my classes. During that time, I’d try anything to make my grades better. So I can definitely understand why people can just do crazy things when they’re depressed. Depression and an overall feeling of not living up to your own or others standards can really make you into someone you’re not.

 

Coping with Depression

So how did I get out of my funk?

Well, first, I think the biggest thing I did was start hanging out with people who had similar goals in life. Luckily for me, just when I was starting to hit the bottom, I gained several good friends. Two of which were my groomsmen. They weren’t judgemental and really helped me take my mind off of worrying about tests all the time.

It was also about that time where I started actually thinking about working out on my own. I had always heard people talk about exercise as a stress reliever – so I started going to the Co-Rec pretty regularly. (In fact, that was one of the places where I’d see alumni cohost Laila from time to time!)

Another thing that I did was take advantage of free services provided by the Department of Psychology at Purdue. I think I probably had 3 different issues that I saw them for. I still remember some of the issues that people in my support groups had… and I don’t even remember why I went!!

That said, that last one there might be the only way that some people might be able to get help. Seriously, seek professional help. If it’s good enough for Lucifer, then us mortals can probably benefit as well!

If you’re having suicidal thoughts, get help right away. Call the suicide hotline at 1-800-273-TALK.

 

Keep Up with the Weeds

Now just because I got out of my funk, doesn’t mean that I stopped utilizing those habits that I developed back then.

Today, I try to be as social as I can. I still walk Max (RIP Sadie and Sable), and I try to be mindful of what I’m eating. And I also make sure I get a great amount of sleep.

That said, I’ve learned that there’s a couple of other things that I do these days that I didn’t back then. One thing I try to do is be as optimistic as possible by using the 5 Minute Journal – which can be found on the App and Play Store. Since using it, I’ve come to realize that affirmations really help drain your brain of negative thoughts.

Another thing that I’ve found that helps me is not “subscribing” to all the things that I could. Meaning, I don’t put myself into situations where I feel that I could become addicted to something. For example, even though I still call myself a gamer, I limit myself to playing a handful of games only a handful of hours per week. Even more, I could never see myself as someone who plays to get paid. It would take the enjoyment out for me by adding stress to it.

Another example is with it being the football season, it’s time once again for fantasy football. To make sure I don’t get too involved with it, I only play free leagues. The stress from watching the games is enough for me!

 

Action Steps

So, I hope that helps someone. The shooting this past weekend really hit me. Again, it could have been something avoidable. I can see why some people think that removing the gun from the equation might help, but the real problem isn’t the firearms. Guns are simply a tool. It’s the people behind the tool that we have to worry about.

That dude was going to kill one way or another. And it didn’t have to be that way.

If you or someone you know is having issues make sure to get help. Heck, even you reaching out and saying hi to someone you know that’s having some issues might be all it takes to prevent them from doing something drastic.

 

the marshmallow test

The Marshmallow Test – Does It Really Predict Success?

Why do we do what we do?

Let me clarify.

What makes us do what we do?

For most of us, if we really are truthful with ourselves, there’s an external motivation for us to actually get off our butts and do something.

For a lot of people, that motivation has to come at the expense of having a pain in our lives. But is this purely source of our success? Or is it something else?

But before we go there, here’s a bit of context.

There’s this recent video of Dr. Michio Kaku talking about the one test that predicts whether kids will be successful in the future: the marshmallow test. Here’s the vid:

What are your initial thoughts? Here’s mine…

 

Does Personality Play a Role?

When I watched this video, I started thinking about which group I identified with. I’d like to believe that I’d be part of the “wait for 2 marshmallows” group. In fact, if I was to recall myself as a kid, I probably would have waited.

I’ve always seem to be motivated by things that could be.

For example, I was never the kid to go on spending sprees whenever I was given a few dollars. In fact, I always saved the money I earned for something I REALLY wanted. Usually an upcoming video game. And since I had put that earned money into buying those games, I tended to play the heck out of that one until the next one I bought came along.

But where did that saving strategy of mine come from?

Michio brings up a good point. Do our personalities really affect whether or not we’d go for the immediate gratification?

Perhaps.

If I was thinking about the DISC personality profile, I’d imagine Supportives and Calculatives would be the natural two marshmallow types.

Being a base Supportive (S) myself I know a few things about them. Besides being tremendously stubborn, we tend to only do things that are going to mean something in the long run. If we can’t make that connection, there’s not much motivation for us to act.

That being the case, it makes sense how I would have developed my saving strategy early on.

As far as Calculatives – I’d imagine that they’d think “Oh, two is better than one. I can put in a little more time to get that reward.” So that’s pretty straight forward.

As for D’s and I’s – I think they might be more prone to being “one marshmallow now” types.

Dominants are known for wanting results right away. The I’s, (called Imaginatives) are known to be constantly seeking fun. Waiting for 2 marshmallows – that’s not fun! Having one now is!

But then again, Dominants are usually the most successful people out there and I’d believe that many celebrities on TV are Imaginatives.

So I don’t know if I’d say that personality yields this response.

 

Which Motivates More? Future possibilities or pain?

In The Delusion of Passion, David Anderson shares with us what he had to go through growing up. He went through a TON of pain before he got his opportunity at Goldman Sachs. Growing up, more often than not, he had to battle the odds to get what he wanted. He did so because he was uncomfortable being where he was in life.

He had a pain that he used as motivation.

Who would have predicted that he’d be as successful as he’s been? Would he have been a one or two marshmallow kid? Hard to tell.

If I had not much going for me growing up, I’d think that taking the marshmallow right away was the only for sure option. In fact, The Atlantic addressed this in a recent article. The article essentially states that the whole test produced unreplicable results and, at best, was biased. Apparently the pool wasn’t all that big and the sample they used for the study was full of kids that grew up around Stanford.

Yeah, that’s a bit of a bummer that we can’t predict people’s future as simple as Michio would have said.

Or maybe it isn’t?

If what the article says is true, then the potential for what could doesn’t motivate all of us. So what does?

I believe that we’re still motivated by things that could be true. But looking at David’s story, it would seem that pain has been as much of a motivator (if not more so) for him as the possibilities of what could be in the future.

Maybe it’s this combination of having some emotional pain and hope for what could be that is the driving force behind so many successful people. The more pain, the more fuel they have?

Action Steps

So now that you’ve soaked all of this in. Think about what you’ve accomplished in life. Legal or not, are there things that you’ve put together that were successful?

Why did you put together that process or do those actions? Was it from pain? Was it because you imagined something that wasn’t there? Or was it both?

Make sure you make a journal of this so when you’re ever running on empty, you know why you’re doing what you’re doing. Knowing your Why is essential in long term achievement.