Career or goals in life. Just have to have faith that it will happen for you!

Why Working a 9 to 5 Probably Won't Get You Your Dreams

That is if your dreams include doing things on your own terms. You know, the sky is really the limit. It’s just that most people don’t know that they need to keep reaching for the sky. Most people let “things and stuff” get in their way of living the way they’d prefer. Many times those “things and stuff” is actually their day job. The truth is that the same reason that a lot of people want to gain wealth is the exact same reason that they never get it in the first place. They think that they are limited by what they can earn by trading hours of their life for dollars. Only problem is that you can’t out earn the problem.

Simply enough, if you want a Ferrari, if you want that big mansion, or heck, if you just want to get another $500/month outside of your job, then you’re going to have to do just that. Produce money outside of your job. Because a job by its nature only pays you enough that it will keep you around – that includes all those nice perks you get (if you’re lucky enough to get them).

The truth of the matter is that if you don’t control the accumulation of assets, then you don’t control the accumulation of wealth. If you don’t control the accumulation of wealth, then you simply don’t control your financial future. Thus working a 9 to 5 job, whatever it is – however cool it is – simply won’t get the job done. Sorry about the pun.

For a good example, here’s our buddy, Pat Flynn of the Smart Passive Income Blog, on this topic when it comes to building online assets:

Whether you’re trying to be a lifestyle or serial entrepreneur (by the definition of what they are, situational entrepreneurs don’t normally have the same goals as the other two), your end goal is to develop enough assets so that you don’t need to trade hours for dollars.

A Great Teacher of Life: Stress

Yes, yes, I know. I’ve been away for a little while. But it’s not because I don’t love you guys! It’s really not. It’s just that I had some personal stuff happen that I’ve been dealing with… namely my mom (read: best friend) passed away the the morning of New Years’ Eve. Frankly, I’ve been all over the place emotionally since then. But I’m doing pretty well a month and a half later. And my plans of world domin… er my career path has definitely been solidified. This site and everything that I believe that it can be (as a resource of helping others start their paths of discovering who they are and what they’re meant to do with themselves) is more part of the plan than ever before.

In the past month, I’ve realized what in the end kills so many people including Mom. It’s stress. Particularly, stress from work. Today I saw an episode of Royal Pains that elaborated on this fact even more. A guy who was really no older than myself was working on Wall Street as (I’m guessing) a stockbroker. Well, there he was walking with his best friend down the street and suddenly without warning, he collapses. We soon find out that it was from an aneurysm. As for my mom, the stress came not from being a high Type A kind of stress, but from a workplace that had transformed over her career. One that used to be truly about teaching to one that became more so about the dollar bill. And we all have been touched in our lives by this change – especially since the crash of 2008.

But what does one do outside of what they know to be the norm? Going to a workplace day after day that more or less doesn’t seem to appreciate them? Doing things that they know that anyone could do. Not doing things that make them in the end… happy? Well, they find their purpose. They find the work that does make them happy. They retire and teach at a local college. They buy back their life and teach airplane lessons. They teach others how to find wealth on the net.

Conclusion

More so than ever, I believe that my goal in life is to help others learn that there are alternative ways of living their life. That they don’t have to work for someone else and do things that they’d rather not be doing. That they can really do anything that they put their mind to. It is the truth. It’s just that someone needs to show them the right direction and not simply be the person that says “Hey, you’re good at Math. You should be an engineer.” Nay. Someone should say to them: “Hey. It seems like you’re passionate about this. Have you ever considered doing…?”

If your reading this and you want to join me, I would love to hear from you!! Tell me what you think.

happiness

The 5 Pillars of Happiness

Pursuit of Happiness – it’s in the Declaration of Independence, but do we really know what it means? Is happiness something that we can truly achieve? If so, how?

I think it is. It’s in the eye of seeker. No one can define happiness but you. However, they can definitely help you along your journey

That’s what the story of Chris Gardner, the author of The Pursuit of Happyness, has done for millions of people. Personally, I had seen Will Smith’s rendition a few years before I ever had heard that it was actually based on the life story of Chris. But if you think you ever have it bad, I got to say it probably pales in comparison. I mean, he really did. At the time that he was going through so much grief in his life, he really didn’t have anyone to turn to. I mean for crying out loud, he and his son had to sleep in a subway restroom.

But, if you saw the movie, you’d know that eventually he made his goals/dreams come true. Not only did he make them come true, but he far exceeded them.

So what was the lesson from his story? Well, for one… I think the main lesson was to never give up or give in. But I also think there’s more that we can pull from this story. We can see that Chris also progressed in developing his 5 Pillars of Happiness: Relationships, Health, Purpose, Finance, and the Little Things. These 5 pillars is what makes up New Inceptions’ foundation.

The 5 Pillars of Happiness:

1.) Mental (Relationships being a part of this) – In Chris’ story, we find Chris living with his ex-wife who gives him plenty of crap about where they are in life and what he’s doing with himself. It’s not that she’s really interested in him developing into what he wants to be, but what she can get out of her relationship with him. She needs him to do things that at the time he is incapable of doing. They are struggling, but she is definitely not helping the matter any. However, in the end of the story (at least the movie), Chris has built one heck of a relationship with his son.

In the Relationship Pillar of Happyness, as with all the other pillars, there is a scale.  If a person is too heavy on one side of this scale vs the other, their life will be more difficult. As with everything in life, it’s all about proper moderation – these scales need to be properly balanced. In this particular scale one would say that there is side where a person is all about themselves. On the other side of this scale, they are all about other people at the expense of themselves. Neither extreme is good for building healthy relationships. If you’re too into yourself, no one will be able to trust you. If you’re too much into aiding others, then you’ll eventually be taken advantage of by them and made to do what they want you to. You need to know what you want out of relationships or it won’t be meaningful for any of the people involved.

To balance this scale out, it helps to understand why you keep the company you do and how to recognize those that are good for you. It also helps to know how to win the trust and friendships of those that you want in your life.

2.) Health – In Pursuit of Happyness, at least the movie, we never really deal with Chris’ health too much. However we would be mistaken to think that he was doing fantastic in this pillar. Little money = little food. Little food = malnutrition. Malnutrition, especially between a child and an adult, doesn’t usually equate to good things. The way to balance this pillar here is pretty obvious based on the focus of health in today’s society. To properly handle this pillar, one must balance out a fair amount of activity with proper nutrition. It’s all about proper maintenance and meeting the needs of your body. You can’t beat natural design.

3.) Spiritual (Purpose and Mission being a part of this) – In Chris’ story, he wants to leave the medical sales world behind and become a somebody on Wall Street. The movie is basically about his dedication in making this a reality. Obviously his dream to do this is to provide more for himself and his family which, at the beginning of the story, he’s not doing such a great job of. However, we shouldn’t get the pursuit of a “career” confused with the purpose of a person. A person’s career is just part of their purpose. Everything that a person chooses to constructively do with their time is part of their purpose. Everything that a person chooses to do that is not constructive use of their talents, is nothing more than a distraction of who they are.

However, too much of either side can’t be 100% good for you. Someone being completely constructive all the time in life might find it hard to have fun. Someone that lives 100% for fun, can not be happy because they aren’t fulfilling who they really are. In either extreme, a void is created and the person tries to fill that void with more of the same action. That’s how we get workaholics vs party animals. Those that do their research of who they are as a person, can figure out how to have fun while being constructive. This automatically balances you out. That’s how you can have a job where you don’t ever feel like you’re actually working.

If you can’t have fun when you’re being productive, the way to balance yourself here is choosing when to be purposeful and when to have fun. My suggestion? Work before play, but make sure you get to have fun.

4.) Wealth (Finance being a part of this) – Finally in Chris’ story, we need to realize the importance of money in his life. At the beginning, he doesn’t have very much of it. In the end, he has the opportunity to make plenty. Getting the chance to live his dream and be a player on Wall Street, definitely comes from his need to make a better living for himself and his family. There is nothing wrong with having this as a goal. However, we shouldn’t confuse this with just being rich to be rich.

In the Bible, it is said that “the love of money is root of all evil”. This is correct. To pursue money just to have it, is probably not the best thing for a person as it’s probably an addiction at that point and at the same time, they’re probably not doing too much with it. Instead, money should be considered a tool that amplifies the person that is using it. Good people will use it for good, while bad people will use it for bad things. Chris using his money to help his family move forward was a good thing. If used correctly for good, money can have a lot of impact – more than any one person can have in physical labor alone. Therefore the more money you have, the more people you have the potential to benefit.

2015 Edit: 5.) The Little Things – Since 2010 when I originally wrote this, I’ve realized that there is more to life that makes one happy. The fifth pillar could be referred to the little things. Each of us has particular small things in our life that we kind of geek over. For example, if you’re into sports, you might be into stats of pitchers, QBs, goalies, etc. You might attend games. You might even be into ::gasp:: Fantasy Football!

This pillar is as important as the other pillars. However, that said, it tends to be the one that people focus on the most. This is where you find all the little distractions in life including social media, gaming, and other new technology. While these things are great to have, too much of them can definitely be a bad thing. You need to equally be spending time with each pillar.

Things to Mention:

The thing to mention is with any of the pillars is that the less balanced one of them is, the more you think about and worry about it. Just like you’re suffocating and need air. Why? Because you feel that something is wrong – but you just can’t figure out what it is… or how to solve it. But you sense it. For example, if you have subpar relationships, you probably spend a lot of time trying to figure out how to get better ones. Or, if you have little money, you probably spend more time thinking about how to get it. You see the pattern.

Something else I want to mention here is two words we hear so much in society today. I used to wonder what the terms “shallow” and “deep” meant when describing a person. What I have found is that when a person is said to be “shallow” it’s because they are actually balancing very little. They typically are only interested in that very little – and that’s generally why they have little to talk about. On the other end, a person who is “deep” is one who has learned how to balance all their pillars and are fine tuning them on a regular basis.  They have probably spent time learning about the different pillars (while they might not have realized it!) and have more to talk about with more people. If you want to have more friends… deeper friends… here’s a suggestion: get deeper into yourself. Find out what you are passionate about in life and learn how to share that passion with others.

So what do you think about the 4 Pillars of Happyness? Is there another pillar you might not be aware of?

Tip #2 For Young Entrepreneurs – Taking Small Steps

One of the things that I think is key in developing a successful version of yourself is by doing things that most others wouldn’t do. This is true. However, there’s another thing that makes people more successful than this. Its when you choose to do those other things – over and over and over again – that actually leads to success. For example, what makes the difference between sport champions and other athletes? What makes Peyton Manning and Tom Brady different than other QB’s in the NFL? It’s taking those extra steps to prepare – to practice. It’s taking those steps to study the other team.

What made Tiger Woods who he is? He prepared throughout his entire life to be great. In the following video, “Tip #2 For Young Entrepreneurs”, Mark Nathan asks Derek Kosek what he has done to be successful in his entrepreneurial career. He makes great points.

Obviously being a successful entrepreneur and sports player isn’t the only way that you can put this principle to good use. I’m sure some of you have already put this principle to use. I’d love to hear how you might have already used it in the past… but maybe you weren’t aware that you were doing it?

Where to Start in Your Search for Health and "Self-Help" Knowledge

“How Old Would You Be if You Didn’t Know How Old You Wuz?” – Satchel Paige.

More often than not, whenever I have gone to the gym, I see people typically running on treadmills. Some of them are watching TV, others are just listening to their iPod’s while others are reading. When they are reading, many times they’re reading a self help book. Most of the time it’s for health, but other times it’s been for other topics. One time, I was curious about a particular book I saw and struck up a good conversation with the reader. Obviously, I was surprised that she was able to keep a conversation going on the treadmill as well as she did. But what was really astonishing was how we ended up talking about how most men are not interested in self-help. Ultimately we determined that men tend to not pursue self help because they don’t want to show signs of weakness.

I mean, this kind of makes sense because for the most part. Because everyone is in charge of their own lives. However, most of the time people, especially men, find themselves in a state of denial. The problem is that, “He who buries his head in the sand leaves even more open to vulnerability”. Think about it, whenever you see an ostrich putting its head in the sand… it’s still vulnerable, right? It’s not realizing that its far greater at risk now because it’s a.) not moving and b.) it can see the danger now.

Are you an ostrich or are you going to seek help? To acknowledge the problem right away and recognize ones’ vulnerability is not only a powerful means of self-protection, but it’s also showing strength in that you’re realizing that the solution is better than the current situation. Especially if it’s health related as the solution might mean for you to have a longer and more prolific life than not seeking help.

First Steps In Seeking Help

Now that you’ve chosen to seek out help (congrats), where do you start? Well, obviously it depends on what you’re having issues with. Many of us have problems with confidence, general people skills, and all kinds of health issues. These are just a few of the topics, obviously, but it will definitely get you started. However, with so many books out there with “so-called” experts, where do you turn? Well, here’s some criteria:

1.) Read material from people recognized as experts. Don’t put all your faith in someone that hasn’t been declared as an expert by other sources or isn’t highly recommended.

2.) If you have mentors in your life and want to be like them in that aspect of your life, find out what their sources are. Let those be a guide.

3.) Do your own research. Combine what multiple experts say. Draw your own conclusions – not what others tell you the answer is.

4.) Time tends to verify information. Just like bad theories are thrown out over time, so is bad advice. Just like new theories, new advice hasn’t had the time be proven. Self Help books that have stood the test of time (such as “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie which is going on 80 years old) are more often than not still the best practices. Remember that humans really haven’t changed that much for at least 2000 years. Health information changes more often, so make sure you check with newer resources that has older information as its foundation.

Tip #1 for Young Entrepreneurs: Know What YOU Want Out of Life

Imagine, if you will, that you’re a basketball player. You have all the talent you need to be successful and you’ve come up with a regiment for yourself to succeed at your current level. Part of that regiment is just showing up. Another part of that is having someone there for accountability purposes and helping you progress – a coach. But a major MAJOR part of it is having a vision of where it is that you’re going to go and how you’re going to get there (a coach helps with this too!) Because you can run drill after drill, and shoot free throw after free throw – that’s true. But why are you doing that? If you don’t have a picture of yourself winning the game, then there’s not too much incentive to actually do that. To be frank, if you don’t choose to win, you automatically choose to lose.

In life, most of us believe we have a great plan that will get us what we want out of life. Usually it goes like this: Go to school, get good grades, go to college, get good grades there, (some random event???), get a well paying job, be able to support for your family of 2.5 kids and own your white picketed fence house.

That’s one scenario.

Here’s another scenario: Instead of your parents telling you that you should want, or what your boss thinks you should want, or even caring about what your buddies think of you, you should actually do what you want to do. Crazy, huh? Is that previously mentioned lifestyle what you want? Or did someone else give you that goal?

Most people who want to start their own business do it for one of two reasons. They have a great idea and they want to make it a reality. Another reason is that they want to live like a “rock star”. For me, the second was the case. Is yours? If the answer is yes, then would you mind doing a lot of work over a short period of time, that in the end, you’d have a lifestyle with time AND money? Maybe? Depending on what it is, huh?

Well… while you said you might do that, many of those that are considered great at life have already done that. Players in the NFL and NBA – they’ve spent their dues practicing day in and day out. Did they really want to spend all that time playing ball? Hip hop and rock stars? Yeah – they had to practice their talent as well and build up a fan base. Did they really want to do that show in that small town in that crappy bar? Probably not. But the entire time they had a visual for what they were seeking to accomplish. And that’s why they were willing to put the time in. Stardom just doesn’t happen. The lifestyle that goes with it – that just doesn’t happen.

The simple truth is this: right now, whether you know it or not, you’re putting together a picture. Like the picture on the front of a puzzle box. Each decision you’re making in life is a piece of the puzzle – right or wrong. What does your picture on your puzzle box look like? If you figure out out what you want that puzzle picture to look like, decisions in life get so much easier. You stop living just for the now, but you start living for the future.

When you start living for the future, then your best days aren’t behind you – they’re in front of you. That right there should help you get up every day because then you have something to live for. You have a vision. Start making every decision based on where you want to be in 5 years. A wise man once said, “A man without vision shall perish.”

Three Failure Diseases of Successful Time Management

What do you want, when do you want it? That’s often a question I ask people as I’m starting to work with them. It’s a very simple question, but many times very hard to answer. The main reason for this is simply the fact that people in today’s world have so many distractions that they lose focus on what they really want. Simple time management practices are key in getting any long term projects done. But even with knowledge of these principles, at times things don’t get done.

In his book, the Magic of Thinking Big, Dr. David J. Schwartz suggested that there are three key diseases that affect effective time management. It is as true today as it was 50 years ago when he wrote about it:

The first disease, Excusitis, is simply the disease of having what seems to be valid reasons for not achieving a particular goal. For example, say you’re looking to increase your income by searching for a higher paying job. A person suffering from excusitis might blame the economy, or suggest that the person who is in The White House is the sole reason they have not been succeeding. When you focus on areas that you have absolutely no control over, you might as it’s like suggesting that it’s not the team’s fault they lost the game, it was yours for not watching. There’s two questions that you can ask yourself. Think, “What does this really have to do with the current state of my current situation?” Are the economy and politics a factor? Absolutely. Are they the deciding factor to the success of whether you get that next opportunity? Absolutely Not. Focus on the solutions, nothing else.

The second disease, Detailitis, is I think definitely the trickiest of the three diseases. I know I have problems with this one myself and I always have. Detailitis infects those people who get frozen on making decisions because they don’t feel they have enough information. Me being a very analytical type person, the more information I have about a given subject, the easier it is for me to make that decision. However, if you feel like the information is trickling in or if you’re waiting for all your ducks to line up in a row, sometimes a mental paralysis occurs that will get stronger over time. Uncertainty turns into frustration which eventually turns into fear. Action is what cures fear, not more and more information. Get the vital pieces to make a sound decision and then move forward. Let action, not indecisiveness control your results.

The third and possibly the most powerful of these diseases is Procrastination – akaWhy do it today when you can do it tomorrow?-itis”. I covered this disease in the initial post for NI, but I’ll mention it here again. This is a major killer of getting things done. When poor time management and lack of knowledge come to a head, this is the ugly outcome. Again, if you hear yourself say this, tell yourself: “What am I saying? Today’s as good a day as any to get this done! It won’t take forever. Plus, I can have a break if it starts taking too long.” Personally, I relate it to this statement: “When do you tell your parents you appreciate them? Before it’s too late and you can’t anymore.” The catch is this: if you want to position yourself for continued success in the future, you need to learn how to gain control over your time management by avoiding these 3 failure diseases. The future is yours. Grab ahold of it today!

So What Do You Think? Are there any other failure diseases that you can think of that get in your way of achieving your goals?