Career or goals in life. Just have to have faith that it will happen for you!

AoL 023: Recognizing the Delusion of Passion: Helping Millennials find True Personal Freedom with Mark Nathan

/by

“Being financially free. What a goal. Man, if we could only be financially free, we wouldn’t have to work!”

Has said many a millennial entrepreneur as they set out on their first business.

I know that was the case for me when I first fell into entrepreneurship. Just like, I’m sure, anyone else that has read Rich Dad, Poor Dad. Those of us who have read Robert Kiyosaki’s work knows that ideally we want to have as many passive income streams as we can. In fact, he says that one of the easiest ways to build passive income is get started with a direct sales company or MLM.

So, in 2006, that’s what I did. Shortly there after, I met a guy who was quickly rising in the ranks of success in my group. Someone that inspired me quite a bit to leave the shell of an engineer behind.

That someone was this session’s guest, Mark Nathan. Mark has been financially free since 2009 and has worked his tail off to get there. Over the years, the speeches that I have seen him do and the videos that I have seen him in have made me realize that doing what he’s done is possible… and that anyone can do what he’s done. Like Pat Flynn, he’s a very relatable guy and a teacher at heart. But he won’t back away from giving you some tough love.

Recently, Mark has been using his financial freedom to help other startups in the Chicago area get off the ground. And I assume, that one of the things he’s realized is that a lot of us Millennials think that what we want is going to come easy to us. (I mean, why wouldn’t it? So many of us have only ever had to be in school… and that was relatively a cake walk!)

Well, that reason is why a lot of us fail at projects we set out to do. We simply don’t realize all the hardships that we’re going to face to achieve what we want to achieve.

So, to help us get the right state of mind of what it takes to succeed, he and his co-author, David Anderson, wrote their first book: The Delusion of Passion – Why Millennials Struggle to Find Success. Who better to give us struggling Millennials a little tough love than a fellow Millennial who’s reached the Summit?

In today’s talk, Laila and I talk with Mark about his ups and downs in business, what being financially free means to him, and what he and his wife do with their “extra” time.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What he learned about business early in his career during his time at Loyola.
  • What Mark and his wife do with their freedom (including getting on Family Feud).
  • His experiences in theatre, including starting a film festival.
  • His thoughts on developing a direct sales/MLM business and how to build one successfully.
  • What Financial Freedom means to him.
  • Where the idea for his book came from.
  • Some of the way’s he’s “embraced the suck” to get to where he’s at.
  • What mentorship has meant to him over his career.
  • How to make reliable partners out of followers.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

 

First Tip for Beginning Entrepreneurs

Meredith joins in talking about the Law of Resistance:

Mark’s brother, Father Matt, meets Steve Harvey:

You can tell that Mark and his family lead an Upgraded Life!

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

Failure to success!

Failure: A Great Way to Succeed

/by

Failure is not about quitting. It’s Simply Learning What Doesn’t Work.

At least that’s what I’ve found out since grad school. Back in my years in college and even before then, I remember I would do anything I could do avoid being a failure. Things that I’m not proud of today… and wasn’t really proud of then either. However, doing what I did was a means to an end and I was going to achieve what I wanted to get done in school, come hell or high water. My future life depended on it… or so I thought.

In places like Academia, Corporate America, and even the military, there is a struggle for people to be constantly right – to be above water. For us to all be “perfect”. Maria has mentioned to me a couple of times recently a saying they have in the military: “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” I would almost agree that is how it is in most of the world. Most people function in this work life. It’s them against the rest of the world.

If we fail, someone else can take our position. If someone else takes our position, then we can’t have it in the future to use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing.

 

The Importance of Failure

The truth is that we learn by “try, fail, and adjusting”. Just like in science experiments, when we fail at something, whatever it is, life is trying to teach us a lesson.

 

What’s the difference between those who are successful in life and those who are not?

Accounting for the fact that we all have varying definitions of success, the one thing that remains the same between all definitions is that successful people learn from their failures and follow those lessons. Those who aren’t successful end up doing the exact same thing, or nothing at all. This can be related to anything that you do in your life.

In the business world, it’s exactly the same. Those who succeed in business have failed many MANY more times than those who are just starting out. Does that make them more of a loser –  a failure? In academia, it might. However, because we’re talking actual real world here, those rules don’t apply.  Just like any normal person would, when successful business folks try something out, and it doesn’t work, they search to understand why. Later, when they need to do that action again, they can utilize what they learned before to get a better result.

And, due to the simple fact that many tools and platforms online are free or fairly inexpensive, then trying things in online business is cheap as well. We can use this to our advantage and be fearless about experimenting with new ideas and new tools. The rewards far outweigh the risks of failure.

(If you’d like some good strategies from Harvard Business Review in how you can analyze failure in your business better – check this out!)

Income Producing Projects I have FAILED at:

So with that intro all done, here are a few items to show that I failed. I’m proud to show you guys this cause it just goes to show how we’re not all perfect. 🙂

LTD / Amway – While I learned a ton, like many folk that do most MLMs, I alienated myself. I still think it’s a great opportunity (in fact, this week’s podcast will be featuring one of the guys that inspired me the most during my active time in it)… but you have to work it smart. I didn’t.

  • What I learned: Most college kids don’t understand that jobs won’t be the end all of their future income needs. Most of them are in college to get that degree to get that job. Coming to them with any kind of business opportunity is kinda weird. Plus, it didn’t help that I was weird about it and tried to come at it from a mentorship perspective. Also, many of the products are somewhat on the luxury side, so marketing it to folks who make minimum income or just a little over probably isn’t the best thing.

Retail Arbitrage on Amazon – Simple idea here. Get marked down products and resell on Amazon.

  • What I learned: I need passion in what I’m doing. Being a middleman on my own isn’t that fun. Now, helping others to have success (were I to have it) might have been more fun. On top of that, there wasn’t much margin gained in the sale. Just kind of felt like a waste of time.

Selling random hardware stuff on eBay – During my time at AMS I attempted to sell some random networking equipment we acquired.

  • What I learned: Kind of shady that a small business that is focused on one thing (putting on athletic events) has highly technical pieces of equipment that only network engineers would understand what they were. Make sure that you’re brand consistent!

 

In Reflection / Action Steps

 

Looking back, my failures to produce income have lead me to be where I am today: helping others make money doing meaningful work because it’s meaningful to me. I’ve realized that I have a passion for helping others get out of their daily grind, and frankly, I know there are multiple ways to do it.

I’d love for you guys to weigh in on some of the things that you’ve “failed” at – business or otherwise. What path did your failures lead you? What did you learn?

Quitting Without Regret: A Critical Key to Successful Creativity

/by

If you’re like me and many other creatives that I know, your mind never stops coming up with new ideas that you believe could add value to other people.

Chances are, you probably have some sort of journal or list somewhere that you can write down ideas on as they come to you.

Just last night, I was listening to Michael O’Neal’s (host of the Solopreneur Hour) interview with Pat Flynn about Pat’s new book, Will It Fly?, and a question came up for Pat that I’m not sure I ever truly heard him answer before until he answered it here.

Many successful entrepreneurs talk about 90 day sprints in which they focus on learning and doing one new thing. However, what Pat answered was very interesting. He said that instead of cutting up the year into 90 day sprints, he actually focuses on two new things for the entire year.

That honestly blew me away. That seems like such a small amount.

But if I think about it, that’s what he’s done. Just kinda going back through his income reports, I can think about what he was up to during that time. For example, in 2013 he wrote his first big ebook, Let Go. In 2014, he was all about systematizing and hiring “fuller” time help. He even spoke of it several times that year. That enabled him to start making and releasing more stuff including “Ask Pat” and doing more videos on YouTube in a series called SPI TV. And in 2015, he was all about going big and expanding his brand as a whole – becoming a regular speaker and embracing his “CEO” role (even though he’d say he doesn’t like that title too well!).

I’m sure Pat wanted to do all of these things for several years. If you dig, you can see he started things here and there. (For example, there’s evidence on his YouTube channel… his oldest videos are 6 years old.) He didn’t have the capacity to do all the things on a regular basis until recently. He knew how to quit without regret. 

Knowing Your Capacity

Let’s face it, unless we have a team, we’re not going to be able to do everything we want to do. Really. And even then, we might not be able to. (That’s why companies continue to grow.)

There’s two reasons for this, one is that you simply have 24 hours in a day. Even if you’re a workaholic like Gary Vee, you’re still only going to be able to do so much. The second is that you come pre-programmed with certain personality traits, and there’s just going to be some things that you’re better at than not.

Even if you’re a workaholic, there’s a good chance you might risk burnout and/or miss out on other aspects of life.

As Angles of Lattitude co-host Laila recently pointed out in a ‘scope of hers, “you have to know what you REALLY want”. While she was able to work herself into working at NASA, a lot of what she did to get there forced her to skip out on other aspects of life. Similarly, while she’s always wanted to be an Professional Engineer and recently had started studying to take the test to be, she realized that it wasn’t for her… at least not right now. She’s currently starting her own brand, working a Fast Track program with Beach Body, helping with the podcast, and on top of that, she’s working part time as well. She simply didn’t have the capacity to add the test on top of all of that.

I think that this was a great choice on her part – even if, for her, it was a really painful decision. She re-realized what her capacity was and she made the decision to not go over that limit.

The Big Misconception

So, at this point, you might be thinking “Ok, that’s great for Pat and Laila, JC. But honestly, I can’t afford for my startup to fail. That’s why I HAVE to try so many things. I need to play it safe. One of these things will work.”.

Will it? Do you think that will help? To me, that sounds like a recipe for failure.

Pat and Laila are simply two recent examples I can think of in the entrepreneurial arena.

Let’s jump into the sports world for a second. This past Sunday was the Super Bowl. Do you think that Peyton Manning ever tried to become a great golfer in the years that he was becoming a legendary football player? No. He was too busy studying game film and working on his own fundamentals to become another kind of athlete. However, that would have never have crossed his mind as he’s been a pedigree quarterback his entire life.

Here’s another example: do you think that anyone that’s running for Presidency of the US in 2016 has the capacity to become president if they were focused on keeping any other kind of job outside of a political one or a business that ran itself? No way!

I’m simply getting at this simple point: There might have been people who were able to burn the candle on both ends. But if you really want something to be hugely successful, you’ll probably need to put all of your effort into that one thing.

When you start to pile up too many commitments on your plate, you have no choice but to start letting other tasks and ideas fall through the cracks.

Taking the Next Step Without Regrets

So now that I might have twisted your arm into realizing that you might have to let off the gas on some of your current efforts and/or ideas, how are you going to do so? For one, you don’t want to be considered a quitter. Secondly, you don’t want to truly give up those ideas.

I believe that there are a few good ways that you can set your mind at ease.

  1. Declare Victory and Move on. Realize that whatever you were working on was merely a project. If it was merely a project, and you learned something from it, declare it as a victory. Move on. For me, I’ve been pouring some time developing a couple of products since re-launching the site back in May. One was a guide to writing resumes and cover letters. The other was building the ultimate guide to connecting with anyone.After doing some groundwork and some idea bouncing and verifying, I realized that these items weren’t going to be as useful to you guys as I hoped. What I learned is that if I have any future product ideas, I really need to ask you all what would be a good product. (FYI… I do have one in the works now!)
  2. Prioritize Them. You can only do so much. If you need a visual, think of your capacity as being the top of a traditional stove. There are 4 burners. If you cook with a stove, you probably know you use the front two burners the most. They’re the most active. The back two are merely for more passive secondary items.Many times, I think about my efforts like this. I’m going to have two projects that are taking up most of my time. However, there are some things that while I would love to do them now, I’m going to have to make them secondary. Secondary items can not require the focus of a front burner item. If it does, I’m just going to have to remove it all together. (The last thing I need is to burn the house down, right? aka burnout.) Right now, when it comes to building New Inceptions, my front two burners are being used for building weekly content and building real friends and allies in the creative space. The back burners are building the New Inceptions audience and a product for them. I’m not doing anything else that isn’t related to accomplishing these four tasks.
  3. Share the Responsibility. Teams don’t have to be made of employees. You can make a voluntary team of like minded people who are going after the same goals. The main difference is that employees work for an income. Volunteers work for a feeling of purpose and belonging. The co-hosts of the Angles of Lattitude podcast are all volunteers. However, they realize that we’re all going in the same direction: to have our own brand, credibility, etc. As the show continues to gain traction, they’ll be more and more recognized as a contributor. Eventually, the audience will start seeking them as authority figures beyond the show.

 

This Week’s Challenge:

In today’s world, it might seem like a weakness to give up on something you’ve set out to do. You might have phrases in the back of your mind that are repeating, such as “quitters never win” and “not quitting is half the battle”. But are those things really true? I’d argue that quitters DO win. I believe that the best entrepreneurs – the best professional creators – do know when to quit. In fact, they do it all the time. They know what they should be focusing their time, energy, and money on and they quit the rest.

What should you quit doing? What should you postpone? What should you be spending more time focusing on?

Let us know in the comments below this post.

AoL 021: Behind the Scenes in Making a Now Trending Show with Josh Featherstone

/by

Being a creative can be an interesting ride. For many of us to consider doing anything outside of our normal work life, there has to be some sort of reward or reason to do it. For many of us, that reward is extra income. For others, just making things is, itself, rewarding enough.

Many times, that second group is referred to as hobbyists or amateurs. These terms themselves, kind of have a negative connotation to them. “He’s such an amateur.” vs “He’s such a professional.” There’s really no contest, right?

Well, funnily enough, that perception of thinking couldn’t be farther from the truth in a lot of instances.

A good example of this is today’s guest, Josh Featherstone.

During the day, you can find Josh working as a manager in the restaurant world. But at night, he switches hats and becomes host of The Now Trending Show. This particular podcast isn’t his first rodeo, either. He’s been host of other shows as well.

In today’s talk, we chat with Josh about how he got into media, what his show is about, some of the equipment he uses, and even a little about his thoughts on copyright infringement.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How Josh got into podcasting.
  • What radio shows inspired him to get into media.
  • What his thoughts are on Marc Maron and the use of “WTF”.
  • The story behind the Now Trending Show.
  • How the show gets topics and how Josh and Lori frame what they talk about.
  • Why a podcast is the way to go if you’re looking to have unrestricted speech.
  • Equipment they have and how the show is actually done.
  • How they include clips from the media in the show.
  • His thoughts on copyright infringement.
  • Future monetization plans (if any).
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Want to get started with your first podcast? Here’s an intro to do it like Pat Flynn:

Pat’s series is a few years old. Here’s a more recent (November 2015) review of mics by Fizzle’s Chase Reeves (Fizzle link):

And finally a Fizzle podcast session from May of 2014 where they talk about 24 lessons they learned after doing their podcast for a year.

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

niche marketing

How to Use Niche Products and Marketing In Developing Your Brand and Business

/by

As creators who are wanting to start a business from our passions and interests, we are told from many marketing experts that choosing a niche audience is how you start a profitable business. They say you have to niche so deep that when you find an avatar – a representation of your perfect audience member – which will consider anything you make for them a must have. An example of an avatar might be a 25-34 year old, married, woman who finds herself stuck in middle management and wants to start making crafts for a living. (That’s an example, not my avatar!)

Basically, from this perspective, you make products for this one avatar. This type of business building is based on having a Niche Product.

The best way to get a niche product is to question anywhere from 5 to 20 of people who fit your avatar, find out what they want, how much they’d want it for, make it, and sell it to them.

Are you familiar with this method? If you’re a Fizzle member, you should be. If you’re a Foundation graduate you definitely should be. Both suggest that this is a relatively foolproof way of selling products.

Essentially, if you go this route, your recommended elevator sentence goes something like this: “We make ______ for _______ so that they can _______.”

I have no question that this model works… and it works well.

However, it seems to me that this might be missing the mark for some folks. If you’re like me, you might want to put your time into something that has a little more meaning for you in it. Something that you have a definite “Why” in doing. And to be honest, if you niche too far down, you might lose that Why. (We’ll talk about what that “Why” actually is in a second.)

To make it easier on themselves, some solopreneurs make their niche fit who they used to be. They make products and platforms for their old selves. Pat Flynn, Tim Ferris, and Lewis Howes are great examples of this. This seems like a straight forward solution. However, if you choose something outside of that, you might grow tired of working with that group. This fear of growing bored or even unwilling to work with a certain industry has given me issues in the past. The deeper I niched down, the further I got away from what I wanted to do. I have so many interests that all relate to each other that I couldn’t stick to one thing.

However, over the weekend, as I was listening to Brendon Burchard’s Thought Leaders Roadmap training and I had a eureka moment. Everything was made clear by a small section he discussed and I want to share it with you guys.

Definition of Niche Marketing

One of the things that Brendon touched on was a piece where he talked about Niche Marketing. He said that it wasn’t actually initially designed as I described niche product building above. I can see how many people use the terms interchangeably and it can become confusing. So let’s clear it up.

Niche Marketing is simply defined as

targeting a product or service to a small portion of a market that is not being readily served by the mainstream product or service marketers.

You might be wondering what the difference is. Well, for one, there’s no mention of an avatar. And, there’s no mention of building a product based on what that avatar wants.

It just simply says that you market based on the niche… not make the product itself based on the niche.

Example of Niche Marketing at Work

Can you think of any companies that use niche marketing? For me, Apple comes to mind. In his TEDx talk, Simon Sinek gives a perfect example of what separates their marketing practices from other companies. He talks about the Why factor being key in why they build what they build.

Let’s look at this elevator sentence: “We’re Apple. Everything we do, we believe in challenging the status quo. We believe in thinking differently. The way we challenge the status quo is by making sure our products are beautifully designed, simple to use, and user friendly. We just happen to make computers. Want to buy one?”

Now, let’s look at the first commercial series for the iPhone:

All you have to do with this is recognize that Simon’s message fits perfectly with these ads. Also, realize that it’s one product but multiple niches are messaged to through the various ads:

  • The first ad (after the intro ad) is for people already using an iPod. It shows how the iPhone is like an iPod – but better.
  • The second ad is geared more for a general demographic – maybe a little technology friendly..
  • The third ad is designed for the “on the go” type.
  • The fourth ad is designed for people who only browsed the web on their computers because they don’t like mobile versions of the web.
  • The fifth ad was designed possibly for those who might not know about the current trends in tech.
  • The last ad was for the busy on the go executive who needs things for their business.

You can see the same message being displayed in the next generation of ads. The difference is that they just added video:

And finally, here’s an example of an ad that shows their message for the Macbook Pro.

They didn’t even talk about the computer’s capabilities here! But why should they? They have brand recognition that it’s going to be easy to use because the iPhone was. What they did illustrate is that it was beautifully designed to drop weight down even more. This is part of their Why!

My Big Eureka Moment

The message that I’m getting across here is that there are two ways to market to a niche. We can take the advice of many of the popular marketing experts out there and make a product for a particular niche and get a definite sale. But we’ll be limited to our overall scope of how many people we’ll be able to sell to.

Or…, and here’s the big eureka moment, we can do both. We find out what several markets want, make one solution for all of them, then market it out to all of those markets like Apple has done with its products. (Apple may very well do this already. However, I know that part of what makes them who they are is that they build products that a lot of people don’t even realize they wanted. Most recent example is the Watch.)

I think that’s what Brendon does and that’s why he’s been able to grow so quickly in recent years. 4 Million Facebook likes of this writing. I think he knows what he’s talking about. 🙂

This Week’s Challenge:

Think long and hard about what you want from your future business. Do you want to create quick seller products? Or do you want to become an expert in your field – offering products that are not only meaningful to your brand, have a lasting impression, but also match your Why? If your answer is the second, think about what modality you’d prefer to provide your services in first and also think of a couple of possible complimentary products as well. In other words:

  • Create “high level” niche products and sell them through niche marketing.
  • Make sure that these products fascinate you (and you can talk about for 3+ years)
  • They’re in the modality you LOVE first. (Book, audio, video, or … etc.)
  • There are 3 products per “brand topic”. Then Stop. (Book, audio, and video, then … etc.)

If you’ve already started creating products, I’m curious – did you start with a Why? What kind of products have you sold that match that Why?

Ginger Kern

Ginger Kern: Exploring the Traveler’s Mindset – Experiencing Big Adventure Through Transformative Travel (AoL 020)

/by

Travel is something that is brought up constantly in the creator / expert / lifestyle business industry. Many of us travel as much as we can. Others simply make traveling part of our regular lifestyle.

Two of our most popular past sessions featured two regular travelers, Cam Adair in session 8, and Marianne Jennings in session 12. They have made it a point to be on move around the globe – for different reasons, I’m sure.

When it comes to actually doing the traveling, however, there are some of us who wouldn’t mind going, but aren’t sure where to start.

That’s where today’s guest, Ginger Kern, comes into the picture. However she’s more than a traveler’s coach. She’s a coach who instills traveling practices within her coaching.

Being a major proponent of what’s called, transformative traveling, she has come to realize that when you see the world as a traveler, you see the smallest things in your own world in a whole new perspective. In fact, I would call it being more aware. As a traveler, that’s what you have to do in a new land – even if you’re in a new city just a couple of hours from your home.

In today’s session, we discuss how she came across her Traveler’s Mindset, where it’s taken her, her experience as a TedX speaker, and what she plans on doing in the not too distant future.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • Where her love of travel came from.
  • How Greek Mythology propelled her into her traveling interests and gave her courage to do so.
  • How traveling has lead to her learning multiple languages.
  • How to become a presenter at a TedX talk
  • What she got out of speaking at the TedX event
  • How Ginger has incorporated travel in her coaching
  • Why she believes a “rite of passage” is needed for someone to kickoff  their dreams.
  • Tips for newbie coaches including how to get paying clients.
  • How her life and week compares to a typical Type A entrepreneur
  • What she considers her home base.
  • Thoughts about small towns and how that can be a great launchpad to explore… or not.
  • What future goals she has including possibly doing more things with transformative traveling.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Ginger’s TedX talk:

Traveling Lifestyle Video – USA Road Trip in 3 Minutes:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Soundcloud. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

Creative Loneliness: What It Is and What You Can Do About It

/by

Creative Loneliness is a stage that I think most, if not all of us Creatives, go through as we’re starting our journey to do what we have a passion for as a living. In this post, I’m going to touch on where it comes from and what you can do about it.

What is Creative Loneliness?

Many of us creatives want to talk about important things. Whether it’s about life in general, politics, being fit, money, relationships, etc., these are the topics that most of us Creatives build careers on.

But, funnily enough, many of our friends and family don’t engage in that typical discussion. And, if they do, they typically keep it very tight and don’t share it with the general population.

At first, they probably won’t understand why we have a sudden urge (at least to them) to make our “passion” a major part of our lives.

This difference in view points can cause, what I call, creative loneliness.

I was first hit with creative loneliness back in my early days in LTD. As I was getting more interested in sharing the opportunity, I found more and more people that were very weary of what I had to offer. I just couldn’t grasp why people thought I was the crazy one.

I had always been interested in topics that formal education tries to get away from as far as possible. The reason I had this interest was because some of the best discussions I’ve had have been with close friends or family on these topics. They made an impact on those of us in the conversation.

A lot of those conversations were ones that “shouldn’t be had at the dinner table”.  I saw this new opportunity as a similar discussion.

Why wouldn’t they want the opportunity to have a better future?

When I started engaging people with the opportunity to join LTD, for whatever reason, it just didn’t make sense to them. Were they wondering why I wanted to do my own thing? Were they thinking that they weren’t capable of doing something that didn’t have a guaranteed outcome? I’m sure there’s plenty of reasons. And, at the time, I wasn’t very good at addressing them.

Later, as I became a graduate student, I came to find out that a lot of people weren’t having the deep conversations that I was used to in the first place. And when I engaged them about LTD, they literally freaked. They had been brainwashed to think that certain topics were taboo and not to be discussed.

This was another issue all together. One that I would later find out wasn’t really something I could do much about.

However, in the meantime, it sure did make me feel alienated and alone.

In an effort to fit in still, I tried to cover this loneliness up with spending lots of time entertaining myself. Trying to not deal with the confusion I had about being accepted but at the same time, wanting to help others.

Maybe you might feel that as well?

In retrospect, I can see how I was addicted to social media, video games, TV, and other time killers. (And even those things made the situation worse… as they’re designed to.)

I became in love with “stuff.” Things that took my mind off of things that truly mattered. Eventually, becoming a shell of myself and finding excuses not to be like the person I know I could be.

Unfortunately, that’s how our creativity dies. We believe that no one cares – so why even bother expressing ourselves?

This internal conflict can lead to eventual chronic depression or realizing that we are the ones that have to wake the others up about our particular message through our Gift.

In reality, we don’t have much of an option. Like all the Creator’s before us, it’s our responsibility to do what we’re here to do. I just simply say this: Let’s just do it in a way that truly adds value to people instead of playing off of their weaknesses.

How to be a less lonely Creator.

So, we’ve identified the problem of being a lonely creator, let’s a look at what you can do about it.

But first, let’s make sure that you are one. I don’t want you to mistake being lonely with something that’s not necessarily a bad thing or something that’s a much worse thing.

Solitude

First off, we don’t want to confuse being lonely with solitude. Loneliness doesn’t come from having no one around. It comes from being unable to communicate with othersthe simple things that are important to you.

In it’s simplest form, we can say that loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. There is nothing wrong with wanting to, or enjoying being alone. Perhaps you’re an introvert and actually get energy from alone time. I mean, it can be useful and enjoyable! The key in enjoying solitude, I think, is staying actively engaged. Don’t be passive.

Engaging activities to do when you want to be by yourself include:

  • Working out and being active.
  • Learning a new skill (cooking, marketing practices, copywriting, etc. – something that a future version of yourself would know how to do)
  • Being your Creative Self by writing your first book, working on your site, recording that podcast, or making a tutorial video!
  • Meditation (totally possible to do through yard work I’ve found out.)

Depression

Secondly, if you feel sad, overwhelmingly “empty” feelings and/or just generally have a feeling of “What’s the point? No one will care.” attitude, then you might just be chronically depressed. This is nothing to take lightly.

Other symptoms might include:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Decreased energy
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

If any of these ring a bell, then you might be depressed. Please consult this WebMD guide to get help asap. You might want to also contact your doctor or family physician as well.

Creative Loneliness

If the solitude and depression don’t describe you, then you might just be creatively lonely.

The main difference between creative loneliness and regular loneliness is that you’ve essentially chosen to not hang out with those who don’t understand what you’re trying to create. In fact, they might perceive you as weirdo or a threat to their ego.

Let them be themselves. You can’t change them… they can only change themselves.

However, you can change your actions and your environment. Here are a few ideas in how to do that:

  • Join an Online Skill Development Community that can help you further your skills in what you’re trying to do. If you’re having issues in making a decision in what group might be right for you, you can always choose a couple – but I would suggest not being active in more than 5. You don’t want to stretch yourself too thin. I would include Fizzle as one of these communities. There’s also free ones all over the web, but, I feel they aren’t as organized or focused.
  • Join a Online Support Community that can help you get over any problems you might currently have. While Fizzle and other groups might help you with your future, you might have a vice that’s keeping you back. Game Quitters, founded by Cam Adair, is an example for those who have a gaming addiction. You, personally, might have other addictions you need to get over so that you can truly chase your true passions. Cam informed me that there’s also a porn addiction help community on reddit, if that’s something you might be struggling with too.
  • Join any offline meet ups in your local area that seem like a match to your message. If there isn’t any notable ones, start one! (Just make sure to do it in a populated area. I mean, you have to give yourself a chance for people to show up.) Make sure you advertise your group online. You gotta let them know it exists.
  • Get a pet (or 2!). If you’re anything like me, you’re going to be alone quite awhile getting your thoughts down and doing work. However, there’s nothing like a pet in your workspace that will help you get your mind off of being alone. Whenever you’re having a brain fart, they’ll know it and expect you to either play with them or let them out. Personally, I have two so that they can keep each other busy at times. Unfortunately, one seems to always be sleeping in my office when I’m trying to record the podcast. If Michael O’Neal doesn’t mind his dog Dexter making noise in the background of his chats… that’s his call. I really don’t need snoring in the background of mine! 🙂
  • Make it a point to get around those that challenge you! As you’ve probably heard, you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. The more time you can spend with people who have achieved what you want to, the higher chance you’ll have in reaching that goal.

This Week’s Challenge (Is that a better term than Homework?):

So this week, let’s work on any loneliness issues that you might have. For one, just realize you’re not the first one that this has happened to. Just because you’re trying to improve your life, doesn’t mean that others around you will. In fact, they might simply get jealous. Expect it. It’s normal. You’re making them feel uneasy about themselves.

Next, join a group that’s relative to what you’re message is. Start getting your voice out there. Remember that the expert space is collaborative. Just because you might have the same topic as someone else, doesn’t mean you’re a competitor with them.

Remember, we’re not trying to kill all your alone time. We’re just trying to give you outlets to go to when you don’t want to be alone.

If you’ve already done this challenge, let us know below how you were able to overcome it.