Failure to success!

Failure: A Great Way to Succeed

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Failure is not about quitting. It’s Simply Learning What Doesn’t Work.

At least that’s what I’ve found out since grad school. Back in my years in college and even before then, I remember I would do anything I could do avoid being a failure. Things that I’m not proud of today… and wasn’t really proud of then either. However, doing what I did was a means to an end and I was going to achieve what I wanted to get done in school, come hell or high water. My future life depended on it… or so I thought.

In places like Academia, Corporate America, and even the military, there is a struggle for people to be constantly right – to be above water. For us to all be “perfect”. Maria has mentioned to me a couple of times recently a saying they have in the military: “If you’re not cheating, you’re not trying.” I would almost agree that is how it is in most of the world. Most people function in this work life. It’s them against the rest of the world.

If we fail, someone else can take our position. If someone else takes our position, then we can’t have it in the future to use it as a stepping stone to the next big thing.

 

The Importance of Failure

The truth is that we learn by “try, fail, and adjusting”. Just like in science experiments, when we fail at something, whatever it is, life is trying to teach us a lesson.

 

What’s the difference between those who are successful in life and those who are not?

Accounting for the fact that we all have varying definitions of success, the one thing that remains the same between all definitions is that successful people learn from their failures and follow those lessons. Those who aren’t successful end up doing the exact same thing, or nothing at all. This can be related to anything that you do in your life.

In the business world, it’s exactly the same. Those who succeed in business have failed many MANY more times than those who are just starting out. Does that make them more of a loser –  a failure? In academia, it might. However, because we’re talking actual real world here, those rules don’t apply.  Just like any normal person would, when successful business folks try something out, and it doesn’t work, they search to understand why. Later, when they need to do that action again, they can utilize what they learned before to get a better result.

And, due to the simple fact that many tools and platforms online are free or fairly inexpensive, then trying things in online business is cheap as well. We can use this to our advantage and be fearless about experimenting with new ideas and new tools. The rewards far outweigh the risks of failure.

(If you’d like some good strategies from Harvard Business Review in how you can analyze failure in your business better – check this out!)

Income Producing Projects I have FAILED at:

So with that intro all done, here are a few items to show that I failed. I’m proud to show you guys this cause it just goes to show how we’re not all perfect. 🙂

LTD / Amway – While I learned a ton, like many folk that do most MLMs, I alienated myself. I still think it’s a great opportunity (in fact, this week’s podcast will be featuring one of the guys that inspired me the most during my active time in it)… but you have to work it smart. I didn’t.

  • What I learned: Most college kids don’t understand that jobs won’t be the end all of their future income needs. Most of them are in college to get that degree to get that job. Coming to them with any kind of business opportunity is kinda weird. Plus, it didn’t help that I was weird about it and tried to come at it from a mentorship perspective. Also, many of the products are somewhat on the luxury side, so marketing it to folks who make minimum income or just a little over probably isn’t the best thing.

Retail Arbitrage on Amazon – Simple idea here. Get marked down products and resell on Amazon.

  • What I learned: I need passion in what I’m doing. Being a middleman on my own isn’t that fun. Now, helping others to have success (were I to have it) might have been more fun. On top of that, there wasn’t much margin gained in the sale. Just kind of felt like a waste of time.

Selling random hardware stuff on eBay – During my time at AMS I attempted to sell some random networking equipment we acquired.

  • What I learned: Kind of shady that a small business that is focused on one thing (putting on athletic events) has highly technical pieces of equipment that only network engineers would understand what they were. Make sure that you’re brand consistent!

 

In Reflection / Action Steps

 

Looking back, my failures to produce income have lead me to be where I am today: helping others make money doing meaningful work because it’s meaningful to me. I’ve realized that I have a passion for helping others get out of their daily grind, and frankly, I know there are multiple ways to do it.

I’d love for you guys to weigh in on some of the things that you’ve “failed” at – business or otherwise. What path did your failures lead you? What did you learn?

Social Confidence Mastery

Myke Macapinlac: Helping Shy Guys Succeed in Life via Social Confidence Mastery (AoL 022)

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Being anxious is part of life. And, as we all know, it can be a problem. Ask anyone who’s ever tried to give a speech. Stage fright is definitely a thing. The question is whether you let it control you, or you use it to boost your ability to connect with someone.

Likewise, when we’re dating and meeting new people, anxiety has that ability to get in our heads. What if those people don’t like me? What if I don’t come across as my true self? What if my true self is too weird? What if… what if… what if?

There’s many ways to deal with this anxiety. Many of us learn how to cope with it early in life when making friends. Others, tend to avoid it. Those that tend to avoid it… we say that they’re shy.

Kids (especially teenagers) don’t want to stick out. In their mind, being part of the herd is part of what it is to be popular. If you don’t fit in, then you’re going to be ridiculed for being the odd one out.

When I was growing up, I didn’t fit into any one group. Being the biggest kid in my class AND being a geek, I kinda stuck out. Needless to say, I was picked on quite a bit.

That stuff sticks with you and can have a great affect on who you are later in life. So much so that instead of opening up to the world, you get further into a shell.

Today’s guest, Myke Macapinlac, wants to get guys out of that shell. Being a big kid himself, and not being able to speak English when he first moved to Canada, he was ostracized quite a bit. In fact, he felt it so much that he’d eat his lunch in the bathroom by himself.

Eventually, he felt that life was passing him by and that’s when he started to make a change.

Now he helps other guys make that change.

In today’s talk, I chat with Myke about how he got started, where the idea of the Social Man Project came from, where he gets some of his coaching techniques, and what separates him from other coaches.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How he fell into the coaching arena.
  • When he knew it was time to start his own path.
  • How he landed his first client.
  • How he finds space to do his bootcamps and courses.
  • Where the idea of the Social Man Project (now called Social Confidence Mastery) came from.
  • Where he gets some of his coaching techniques and how those set him apart from other coaches.
  • What are Myke’s 3 cornerstones of his coaching.
  • How to be a Nice Guy without being a pushover.
  • Thoughts on Neil Strauss and his teachings.
  • 4 questions answered on dating issues.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

 

Myke on City TV for the Calgary Stampede in 2014

Cam and Myke discuss how you can create Charisma on Game Quitters:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

Creative Loneliness: What It Is and What You Can Do About It

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Creative Loneliness is a stage that I think most, if not all of us Creatives, go through as we’re starting our journey to do what we have a passion for as a living. In this post, I’m going to touch on where it comes from and what you can do about it.

What is Creative Loneliness?

Many of us creatives want to talk about important things. Whether it’s about life in general, politics, being fit, money, relationships, etc., these are the topics that most of us Creatives build careers on.

But, funnily enough, many of our friends and family don’t engage in that typical discussion. And, if they do, they typically keep it very tight and don’t share it with the general population.

At first, they probably won’t understand why we have a sudden urge (at least to them) to make our “passion” a major part of our lives.

This difference in view points can cause, what I call, creative loneliness.

I was first hit with creative loneliness back in my early days in LTD. As I was getting more interested in sharing the opportunity, I found more and more people that were very weary of what I had to offer. I just couldn’t grasp why people thought I was the crazy one.

I had always been interested in topics that formal education tries to get away from as far as possible. The reason I had this interest was because some of the best discussions I’ve had have been with close friends or family on these topics. They made an impact on those of us in the conversation.

A lot of those conversations were ones that “shouldn’t be had at the dinner table”.  I saw this new opportunity as a similar discussion.

Why wouldn’t they want the opportunity to have a better future?

When I started engaging people with the opportunity to join LTD, for whatever reason, it just didn’t make sense to them. Were they wondering why I wanted to do my own thing? Were they thinking that they weren’t capable of doing something that didn’t have a guaranteed outcome? I’m sure there’s plenty of reasons. And, at the time, I wasn’t very good at addressing them.

Later, as I became a graduate student, I came to find out that a lot of people weren’t having the deep conversations that I was used to in the first place. And when I engaged them about LTD, they literally freaked. They had been brainwashed to think that certain topics were taboo and not to be discussed.

This was another issue all together. One that I would later find out wasn’t really something I could do much about.

However, in the meantime, it sure did make me feel alienated and alone.

In an effort to fit in still, I tried to cover this loneliness up with spending lots of time entertaining myself. Trying to not deal with the confusion I had about being accepted but at the same time, wanting to help others.

Maybe you might feel that as well?

In retrospect, I can see how I was addicted to social media, video games, TV, and other time killers. (And even those things made the situation worse… as they’re designed to.)

I became in love with “stuff.” Things that took my mind off of things that truly mattered. Eventually, becoming a shell of myself and finding excuses not to be like the person I know I could be.

Unfortunately, that’s how our creativity dies. We believe that no one cares – so why even bother expressing ourselves?

This internal conflict can lead to eventual chronic depression or realizing that we are the ones that have to wake the others up about our particular message through our Gift.

In reality, we don’t have much of an option. Like all the Creator’s before us, it’s our responsibility to do what we’re here to do. I just simply say this: Let’s just do it in a way that truly adds value to people instead of playing off of their weaknesses.

How to be a less lonely Creator.

So, we’ve identified the problem of being a lonely creator, let’s a look at what you can do about it.

But first, let’s make sure that you are one. I don’t want you to mistake being lonely with something that’s not necessarily a bad thing or something that’s a much worse thing.

Solitude

First off, we don’t want to confuse being lonely with solitude. Loneliness doesn’t come from having no one around. It comes from being unable to communicate with othersthe simple things that are important to you.

In it’s simplest form, we can say that loneliness is when you are unhappy to be alone. Solitude is when you are happy to be alone. There is nothing wrong with wanting to, or enjoying being alone. Perhaps you’re an introvert and actually get energy from alone time. I mean, it can be useful and enjoyable! The key in enjoying solitude, I think, is staying actively engaged. Don’t be passive.

Engaging activities to do when you want to be by yourself include:

  • Working out and being active.
  • Learning a new skill (cooking, marketing practices, copywriting, etc. – something that a future version of yourself would know how to do)
  • Being your Creative Self by writing your first book, working on your site, recording that podcast, or making a tutorial video!
  • Meditation (totally possible to do through yard work I’ve found out.)

Depression

Secondly, if you feel sad, overwhelmingly “empty” feelings and/or just generally have a feeling of “What’s the point? No one will care.” attitude, then you might just be chronically depressed. This is nothing to take lightly.

Other symptoms might include:

  • Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions
  • Decreased energy
  • Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping
  • Irritability, restlessness
  • Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable
  • Overeating or appetite loss
  • Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment
  • Thoughts of suicide, suicide attempts

If any of these ring a bell, then you might be depressed. Please consult this WebMD guide to get help asap. You might want to also contact your doctor or family physician as well.

Creative Loneliness

If the solitude and depression don’t describe you, then you might just be creatively lonely.

The main difference between creative loneliness and regular loneliness is that you’ve essentially chosen to not hang out with those who don’t understand what you’re trying to create. In fact, they might perceive you as weirdo or a threat to their ego.

Let them be themselves. You can’t change them… they can only change themselves.

However, you can change your actions and your environment. Here are a few ideas in how to do that:

  • Join an Online Skill Development Community that can help you further your skills in what you’re trying to do. If you’re having issues in making a decision in what group might be right for you, you can always choose a couple – but I would suggest not being active in more than 5. You don’t want to stretch yourself too thin. I would include Fizzle as one of these communities. There’s also free ones all over the web, but, I feel they aren’t as organized or focused.
  • Join a Online Support Community that can help you get over any problems you might currently have. While Fizzle and other groups might help you with your future, you might have a vice that’s keeping you back. Game Quitters, founded by Cam Adair, is an example for those who have a gaming addiction. You, personally, might have other addictions you need to get over so that you can truly chase your true passions. Cam informed me that there’s also a porn addiction help community on reddit, if that’s something you might be struggling with too.
  • Join any offline meet ups in your local area that seem like a match to your message. If there isn’t any notable ones, start one! (Just make sure to do it in a populated area. I mean, you have to give yourself a chance for people to show up.) Make sure you advertise your group online. You gotta let them know it exists.
  • Get a pet (or 2!). If you’re anything like me, you’re going to be alone quite awhile getting your thoughts down and doing work. However, there’s nothing like a pet in your workspace that will help you get your mind off of being alone. Whenever you’re having a brain fart, they’ll know it and expect you to either play with them or let them out. Personally, I have two so that they can keep each other busy at times. Unfortunately, one seems to always be sleeping in my office when I’m trying to record the podcast. If Michael O’Neal doesn’t mind his dog Dexter making noise in the background of his chats… that’s his call. I really don’t need snoring in the background of mine! 🙂
  • Make it a point to get around those that challenge you! As you’ve probably heard, you’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. The more time you can spend with people who have achieved what you want to, the higher chance you’ll have in reaching that goal.

This Week’s Challenge (Is that a better term than Homework?):

So this week, let’s work on any loneliness issues that you might have. For one, just realize you’re not the first one that this has happened to. Just because you’re trying to improve your life, doesn’t mean that others around you will. In fact, they might simply get jealous. Expect it. It’s normal. You’re making them feel uneasy about themselves.

Next, join a group that’s relative to what you’re message is. Start getting your voice out there. Remember that the expert space is collaborative. Just because you might have the same topic as someone else, doesn’t mean you’re a competitor with them.

Remember, we’re not trying to kill all your alone time. We’re just trying to give you outlets to go to when you don’t want to be alone.

If you’ve already done this challenge, let us know below how you were able to overcome it.

AoL 014: From NASA to Fitness Coach – Knowing When It’s Time to Move On with Laila Rahmatian

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Many people who think about being a creator full time have to struggle with a particular decision. That decision is whether or not it’s viable. I mean, it’s a very big deal. Sometimes this struggle is amplified from financial instability or from a questioning of who they are. And yet, sometimes it’s a combination of both.

For me personally, I knew that I’ve always been a creator. As you might recall, back in high school I had the opportunity to go into art or science as my focus. I chose to go the science route because I believed it would have a larger payout in the end. Things changed and I soon found out that I didn’t want to be a traditional engineer. I then went to grad school for organizational leadership.

Today, I find myself using both my artistic side as well as my technical/engineering side to do the work I’m doing today.

In today’s session, I’m talking with Laila Rahmatian about her recent career change. Like myself, she identifies with the term multipotentialite and still doesn’t quite know if her current career choice is where she’ll always be. (That’s alright, by the way. Multipotentialites are often labeled as Jack and Jills of All Trades.)

While the talk focuses on various things around her career path from NASA to being a fitness coach, she also has other talents that we didn’t discuss. Including being a great photographer.

So, if you’re having issues choosing how to make an income doing something you love, maybe it isn’t so much about picking just one thing forever. Maybe it’s simply time to realize that it’s time to move on to the next chapter. Then you can worry about what you’re going to do during that chapter. It’s my hope that this discussion will help you determine if it’s that time. Enjoy!

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • How early in her life she had her sights set on NASA.
  • How she eventually got to NASA after being at Purdue as a Civil Engineering Student
  • How Having to go the extra mile for good grades in school actually paid off later in life.
  • When she knew that it was time to leave NASA and pursue her passions elsewhere.
  • What she learned from going to grad school.
  • How to realize when it’s the next chapter in your life.
  • How she believes engineering is still part of her future.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

This session’s show note extras are pure personality. Below are a few links that I believe also illustrate Laila’s multiple interests. If you listened to session 8 and session 12, you heard about two travelers: Cam Adair and Marianne Jennings. Laila mentioned to me after the recording that she related pretty well with Marianne.

If you think you might want to become more of a traveler or even have a traveling lifestyle, then I believe that this site is for you:

Traveler’s Mindset

Also, Laila and I both went to Purdue as engineers. As engineers there, it’s kind of running jokes that

1. Engineers have a very hardcore studious life.

2. Engineers, in general, are a strange bunch. Especially guys from a female engineer’s perspective.

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

AoL 013: Unseen Motivators That Keep Entrepreneurs Going With Dennis And Claudia Haddix

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For many of us, it’s hard to tell whether we’re a creative or just pretending to be. Whether we’ve had to become one out of necessity or rather we’re one naturally, many times it might be a struggle to carry on – especially if you’re just starting out. You might even sometimes wonder, “Why am I doing this?”.

For me, personally, I can’t see myself doing anything else. Ever since I was in LTD and later heard Pat Flynn, I realized that my calling was to be an entrepreneur. More specifically to help people with their online business – in what ever form that might be.

I think it could go earlier than that, however.

Being someone that has always excelled at technology, it occurred to me that I’ve always been useful to others when it came to teaching them how to use many forms of it. On top of that, I’ve had a knack for connecting with people online and, furthermore, those people with other people and ideas. (Who said gaming wasn’t useful?)

In today’s chat with Dennis and Claudia Haddix, Brian and I chat with them about business. Not the metrics and how-tos of what they do. (Even that’s what I was prepared to do!) Instead, we talk about what makes them tick as entrepreneurs. Why they do what they do.

Dennis and Claudia are experienced eCommerce entrepreneurs and have been running the Makarios Group since 2008. How I met them is through their meetup where they help others do what they do. Free of charge.

So it’s obvious, to me, they have a passion. And I think that those of us who have this natural calling to create and add value to others is something that if we neglect, we’ll always wonder what could have been.

If you currently own a business or (maybe thinking of starting one) and wonder what might keep you going over the long haul, I think it might be worth your time to see things from a veteran’s perspective. It’s an awesome conversation, and I can’t wait for you guys to hear it. Enjoy!

IN THIS EPISODE, YOU’LL LEARN:

  • How they started doing eCommerce
  • What they did before starting the Makarios Group.
  • What all our various reasons are for being entrepreneurs.
  • Why the impossible isn’t actually impossible.
  • What a day in the life of Dennis and Claudia looks like.
  • What it’s like when a hobby becomes a business (and what they believe the hardest part is about that transformation).
  • What it’s important to understand what a couple’s roles are when starting a business.
  • Why Dennis and Claudia feel people “hire” them.
  • …and MUCH more.

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

  • The Makarios Group
  • eCommerce Indy Meetup Group
  • 99Designs – Great option to get help with graphic work.
  • Fizzle – Our go to community for building online businesses. First month is free!

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

This session’s show note extras are all eCommerce related. We didn’t really get too much into this during the conversation like I hoped, so I thought I’d drop some other’s reviews on you here.

First off, here is what got me interested in eCommerce. Pat Flynn has interviewed several people about their experiences with Fulfilled By Amazon (FBA). Going from what is called Retail Arbitrage to Private Labeling. Both can bring in a good income. Just depends on how much you want to hustle vs planning ahead and executing.

Personally, I’d check out Retail Arbitrage first as it will show you what Amazon is like. You might even try something similar on eBay as well. See if you like that better. One big difference between the two is that with eBay, you actually get a chance of getting your customers emails for future marketing. Amazon, not so much. (This will be discussed further in the later videos after the SPI section.)

Smart Passive Income Podcasts on FBA:

SPI 099: Buying Stuff and Selling it on Amazon (For 6-Figures a Year!) with Jessica and Cliff Larrew (Retail Arbitrage)

SPI 127: Building a Successful E-Commerce Business and Private Labeling with Ryan and Daniel

SPI 144: Building a Million Dollar Business in 12 Months – with Ryan Moran 

Amazon is not perfect and in some cases might not be the right choice for you to pick for your business. So below you’ll find a review on Amazon to sell products as well as a review on Shopify (which is one of the largest “competitors” of Amazon).

Pros and Cons of Using Amazon 

Pros and Cons of Using Shopify

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, and/or Podbean. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

How to Deal with Self-Doubt In Your Career

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Just recently listened to the following podcast via the Fizzle crew,

… and it really got me thinking about how people go through episodes of self doubt. Self doubt is, by no means, limited to those of us who are interested in becoming full time entrepreneurs. It happens to all of us.

When we get new jobs or think about major life changes (having kids, buying a new house, or losing a parent) we think about how that will effect us as a person. For me, I was always worrying about if I could ever find the right career to suit who I was as a person. Today, I struggle with wondering if and when New Inception’s audience is ever going to grow enough so that we can make an impact in a million lives. Who are the people I need to meet and connect with the most?

Another thing I think about from time to time is future kids cramping Maria’s and my future career and life… or adding fuel for me to get stuff done. Brian would be the first one to say that kids are awesome. I’ve heard many people say that the reason they work so hard is because of their kids. They’ve made their kids their reason, not their excuse. However, I’ve seen time and time again where kids have made their parents a shell of a person that they once were. Here I am, at the ripe age of 34, and I still think that the phrase “my kids” is just as alien as saying “my mansion”. Is it something I’d like someday? Yeah, sure. Just after I get my Ferrari.

Feeling like I know myself too well, sometimes I feel that my visions and goals are just out of my reach. Like a better version of me could obtain them. But this version? Yeah right.

However, for us to get anywhere in life, I think we have to develop a little bit of, what Corbett called it, delusional thinking. That we can do anything we want to do. Furthermore, I think we can also attack self doubt with a little framework that I heard about a few years ago. It’s called the Question Your Worrying Model.

Getting Past Self-Doubt in Your Career

The following particulars ways of dealing with Self-Doubt are from when I was studying for a final back at Purdue one time. I had several successful years under my belt already, so I knew I could pass classes. It was just that this particular class had already really stretched me. So as a way to distract myself, I started thinking about ways that I had been able to do well on past finals. This is what I came up with:

Recognize that you’re probably not the first one. When it comes to finals, I wasn’t the first one that ever freaked out about them. Today, I usually can talk myself out of much of my self-doubt because I’m pretty sure there have been others before me that have probably had this same concern.

Question Your Doubt. This is another great reason to keep a journal. If you ever have a self-doubt that keeps coming up, perhaps it would help if you keep track of past times when you’ve had self-doubts. Ask yourself, is this the same one as before? Is it realistic? What do you think is causing it? Once you go through this deep thought once, in the future, it’ll be that much easier to deal with it.

Celebrate Your Successes. The truth is that you’ve probably have had plenty of success in your life to draw from support. If you’ve done your homework and have celebrated them as you’ve had them, recounting them should be easy. Thinking about them will bring back positive emotional support. That said, even if you can’t think of anything off the top of your head, realize that it’s almost statistically impossible that you even exist in the first place. (Check the accompanying info-graphic for proof.)

Seek out mentors, teachers, and other support. I’m not sure about you, but I occasionally get paranoid about my interpersonal skills. I think that maybe I’m coming off differently than I hope people see me. I guess that’s just the introvert in me double thinking every word. Totally task oriented at times.

When I feel that I might be doing this, I seek others to see if I was too “focused”. I can tell you, even on my weekly first of the week talk with Brian and Jon today, I was definitely more focused on what had to get done this week other than the things that they were having to go through this week and next.

More on that point, when I feel that I I’m seriously struggling with a perspective on something, I’ll generally have a discussion with Frank (who’d I consider a mentor of mine) for verification or clarification.

Relax and focus on something else. Sometimes breaks are needed. You’d be surprised how many times you can just walk away from whatever has you worrying for 5 or 10 minutes (or an evening) and come back to it refreshed. You might even wonder why it had you down in the first place. Truly, sometimes you really need to sleep on it.

Face your fears. We always dread about the worst that can happen in certain instances that cause self-doubt. However, the catch is that the worst thing will probably not happen. Instead of running from your fears, get mad (or at least frustrated) and ask yourself how long is this fear of what probably won’t happen going to keep me from achieving what I want to do? You’d be surprised in how many times I’ve surprised myself with how well something went when all I did was just try it.

Talk yourself into it! In my last post, I shared a story of Brendon Burchard’s about how he had a student in a speech class one time and she eventually was able to go from being a super quiet girl to getting in front of her peers and giving a speech. Part of that journey was giving herself a pep talk as others were comforting her.

Even though the others were there, she was listening to herself. This is what I mean by coaching yourself. Telling yourself “You got this.” does wonders. Give yourself an idea of what success looks like. Is it yourself in a new job? Is it you giving a presentation and everyone is smiling? Just Do It!

Set some goals. I mean, I feel that we might have covered this one several times too many in the podcast recently, but hey, you might be new here and I want to make sure you get it. When it comes to goals, you can make goals for what you envision OR just an obstacle itself. However, I feel that this part is huge in actually getting things done.

Homework:

So as you can see, self-doubt happens all the time. Be it in school, at the job, or if you’re starting a business (hell, even if you have already). The key is to learn how to manage those negative emotions. We’d love to hear from you in regards to this. If you have any further tactics in dealing with self-doubt, let me know! You can do so below OR… let us know in the New Inceptions Masterminder Facebook Group.