when life gives you lemons

When Life Gives You Lemons… – How Embracing Your Personal Niche Will Get You Through the Tough Times with Kim Trathen (AoL 153)

Life has a way of making us rethink the actions we’re taking. Whether it’s in school or on the job, in life, or even while we’re working on our business. That’s where the saying “When life gives you lemons, you make lemonade!” comes from. Because it’s when we have these obstacles in our life, we often wonder if we’re doing the right thing. We wonder if maybe the universe is trying to tell us something.

This is why knowing who we are, what our strengths are, and how we can help others is so vital to our success.

It’s because we know how we fit in the world, that we’re able to justify doing the work we’re meant to do – even when it gets hard and we’re given reasons to not do it.

In this conversation with today’s guest, Kim Trathen, we learn about all the things she had to go through as she was developing her business in 2018. She had plenty of reasons to put her blossoming business on the back burner. However, because she knew what she was good at and how she could help others, it gave her the strength to keep pushing forward.

So join Veronica and I was we talk with Kim about this journey of hers and how you can apply it to your own life and business.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What was the process that Kim went through to start her business? 7:38
  • How has she been able to deal with life’s challenges as she’s been starting her business? 13:36
  • How does she address limiting beliefs with her clients? 25:35
  • In what way does passive income factor in her business? 31:08
  • How does social media come into play with her clients? 39:46
  • What is Kim looking forward to the rest of the year? 44:32
  • What is one song, one book, and one film that should be added to the national curriculum? 47:48
  • What’s the best advice that Kim has ever received? 50:58
  • Which social custom is Kim’s favorite? 51:24
  • What advice does she hear adults giving children she’d call BS on? 52:04
  • What’s the secret to achieving personal freedom? 53:08

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

How to show up when you’re busy, tired, or just don’t feel like it…

The #1 Reason You Aren’t Where You Want to be In Life

How to Really Use Social Media as a MLM’er

#GirlsTalkBusiness 25 with Kristen Lynch


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherPodBean, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

self growth

How Self Growth and Your Filtering Process Affect Your Life and Business

They always say, you attract who you are. When I was at the start of my self growth journey, I really didn’t know what this meant. I remember exactly where I was when I first realized it though. I was in grad school. And, interesting to me, it wasn’t too long before I realized that not everyone is looking to climb a mountain in their career.

Up until that point, I thought just about everyone worked like I did.

I couldn’t have been further from the truth.

What I’ve realized since then is that there are different personalities, different motivators, and even different needs that we have to consider when we’re interacting with other people.

Because of this, we have to be aware of where we are on this personal journey so we can understand how they see us.

The better we can use this power, the easier it is to get what we want in the long run.

Or as Zig Zigler said, “If you help enough people get what they want, then you automatically get what you want”.

Here’s a few things to think about…

You Attract Who You Are

Recently, I was listening to a lesson that fellow John Maxwell Team member and future guest of the AoL Podcast, Jeff Gamble, was talking about on his FB Live show “Going Executive Director”. 

In the video, he was talking about how people tend to attract others like themselves. 

Here’s the thing. Jeff might have been using the MLM world as a reference, but it’s true across the board. And it’s especially true in life and business.

For example, when I was in college 10+ years ago, I was pretty insecure about my future. Like many engineering students, even though I liked having a good time, I learned to prioritize studying. I never had time to party.

Many of the friends I had in college were that same type, especially early on. 

After I changed majors, I felt more at ease and because of that, I started attracting new friends who didn’t fit this previous mold. They were confident in where they were going. And because of this, I started to see that I had decent control over my own future.

It was during this time that I started getting involved in clubs and other organizations on campus. Interestingly, I started to understand that not everyone is wired the same way I am. And like Jeff was talking about, I started to understand that not only are there different personalities, but different people have different needs.

Start with Your Needs

In the video, Jeff talks about Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and Tony Robbins’ 6 Human Needs. It’s uncanny how similar they are:

self growth

Early on in college, my esteem took a beating. It seemed like no matter what I tried, I just couldn’t be the student I was used to being in high school.

What I later realized is that I just had no idea how to study. And once I figured that out when I changed majors, I’d put in the needed work to fix that. As a result my confidence rose and I allowed myself to venture out and do other things. Interestingly enough, I started trying to connect with other students around me by becoming part of different organizations (that’s the next level of needs!)

So, here’s my question for you. Where do you fall? Do you have the basics figured out? Do you have safety figured out? How significant do you feel?

If you’re still in search of those, as Jeff was saying, you’re going to attract those people into your life – either as friends or as clients.

Setting Up Your Business for Success by Filtering

That being the case, as a business owner, you might not necessarily want to attract those who are in your own situation.

This is where the importance of setting up a filter comes into place. 

A filter is nothing more than a system used to qualify potential matches. Most businesses should use a filter when they’re trying to fit people to certain roles.

Here’s a few examples of where filters could be used:

Recruiting In Direct Sales

For example, if you’re affiliated with an MLM company like Jeff was talking about, then you’ll want to filter the right people in. You’re looking for people who want to learn about the system and how to leverage it properly to grow their own business. What you’re not looking for is people who are naturally not coachable and rebel about everything. You want to surround yourself with other students of the craft.

As a Consultant

Likewise, if you’re a consultant, then you’ll want to use a filter to see if someone really wants to achieve a new version of whatever you’re helping them with. You’ll need to learn how to ask them qualifying questions about themselves, their business, and what they’re looking to achieve.

As a Doctor

Another example, let’s say you’re a doctor. You’d need to filter people based on their needs on whether or not you can help them. If you misdiagnose someone and give them bad advice on their next step, there’s a good chance you might be sued for malpractice.

In an Everyday Situation

Or here’s a final example. Let’s say you’re actually in HR for a company. Do you think you should hire people like yourself to fill in jobs in the company, or should you hire people who fit the characteristics of the role that needs to be filled. Obviously, you want to hire to the role and to do that, you’ll need a filter to find out if they fit. Otherwise, you’ll hire someone and they’ll either quit or be fired.

Action Steps

So, I hope those examples give you a bit of an idea of the importance of a filter in your business and perhaps in your life as well. My trajectory changed completely for the next 10 years after college. If it wasn’t for the input I received those years, I wouldn’t have started on my current path.

And because of that, I wouldn’t have been able to eventually realize that these people had used a filter on me – whether consciously or subconsciously.

So don’t throw people at the wall and see what sticks. Otherwise, you’ll get more people like yourself. If you’re trying to become a new version of yourself, that might not be ok.

Instead, learn to consciously use filters in your day to day life. If someone isn’t going in the direction you are and doesn’t have the same standards that you want, then there’s a good chance they’re going to be a drag on your life and your business.

reinvent yourself

Cross the Thinking Gap and Reinvent Yourself!

How do you reinvent yourself? For the longest time, I questioned how this is possible. Aren’t we are who we’ve always been? How do we get another identity than the one we’re so familiar with?

A book that I found during my years at Purdue, called Reinventing Yourself made me start thinking more and more about this. And I realized that I had started on this path early on.

When I was growing up, I understood competition. In fact, I remember the first time I “lost” in the real world. It was in 4H in a shooting sports competition. And frankly, I hadn’t practice – and apparently it showed. I ended up getting 7th out of 10 competitors in my age range.

reinvent yourself

I was pretty upset when I heard the news. Up until that point, I felt that I was good at about just anything I put my mind to. I just couldn’t believe that I didn’t do as well as I thought I was going to do.

I vowed that next year I was going to be better.

That next year, I made it a point to get up super early on Saturdays and go out to the firing range with the club.

That next year, I didn’t do much better. In fact, if I remember right, I got 5th place. Still not nearly as good as the champions and grand champion ribbons I was seeing in my other projects.

However, one thing did stand out to me. Everyone at this event, which was supposed to be highly competitive, got a small trophy.

This was the first time I was exposed to the idea of all participants get a trophy.

I remember being pretty ticked off. Why should they get something for not even placing? I worked at my loss!

So the next year I opted to focus more on Dog Club and left the shooting sports group all together.

Generation Entitlement?

Many argue that Millennials are the most entitled generation. In fact, there are all kinds of books and articles that suggest that the reason for this is because of the rampancy of participation trophies.

Whether that’s truly the case is unknown. However, a lot of Millennials have been told their entire life that they can do anything they want if they put their mind to it.

Well, that’s simply not the case.

What’s worse, is that when things don’t go a certain way, many blame others for their downfalls.

It’s my parents’ fault.

The professor screwed us!

The government needs to do something about that!

Society teaches us that using phrases like this are ok. Unfortunately, they’re only ok if we plan to stay stuck where we’re at in life and in our careers.

Owners Win & Victims Lose

You might have heard the phrase “Own up to it!”. If so, you know that this is slang for taking responsibility for one’s actions.

When you own up to doing something wrong or incorrectly, you’re acting in a space of courage. You say something like “This is my fault. I will do better next time”.  

When we’re denying that we didn’t do something we’re accused of, we’re shedding responsibility. We think “I didn’t do anything wrong. Why should I change?”

Here’s the thing. We can only get better if we acknowledge our failure. If we don’t acknowledge that failure, we’re setting ourselves up for that same failure in the future.

So, really, it’s not much of a stretch to say that what you say on the outside starts with what you think and feel on the inside.

Become an owner and reinvent yourself

If you’re tired of losing, then it’s time to turn things around. But how? How can you reinvent yourself?

Well, here’s a few things that you can become a bit more aware of as you’re living your daily life. Once you break your habit of doing these things and turn it around, you automatically set yourself up to win.

1. Life is Hard! It’s Me vs the Rest of the World!

No, it isn’t. It really isn’t. Life is what you make out of it. 17 years ago, I believed that the world was acting against me and my goal of graduating. It felt like all professors were conspiring against me.

Truth is, engineering is just super tough and I wasn’t putting in enough work to get it done. Once I realized that it wasn’t working out, I switched majors and life started getting better. I got into a study group and started making the grades that I knew I was capable of. Heck, I even had time to do extracurricular activities for once!

2. I’m Not My Fault. They Made Me Do It!

Here’s a phrase that you’ll hear in movies quite a bit. Often times, you’ll hear it from a villain who’s trying to get back at the government or some kind of company.

We as the audience know that while they might have gotten a bad rap, it’s their fault that they’re acting the way they are. They’re making active choices to take the actions that they are.

Soon after, the villain gets what he deserves and the hero rides off into the sunset.

In our own lives, while using this phrase might not involve high stakes as a building exploding or aliens from another dimension being released into our own, it does have the same effect.

It’s our job to realize that we can totally change our perspective of the world at any time.

For example, there are plenty of people out there who have lost a limb and think they can’t be their former selves. That might be true, but it’s also totally possible that they could now be a better version of themselves now.

Also, there are homeless people who are constantly miserable and there are others who are fighting to get out of their funk. I’ve interviewed two people fairly recently who were both homeless in high school and now, years later, are living their dreams.


3. Why Should I Take Responsibility of Something I Didn’t Do?

I’ve mentioned this before, but Andrew Luck is a great example of a leader. In all of his post game interviews, he always takes the responsibility of a loss. And when the team wins, he sheds the glory to his teammates.

We all should try to be this humble in our own lives. Take responsibility even if it’s not our fault. And when we’re awarded, give thanks to those who have supported us.

Action Steps

As far as additional action steps to reinvent yourself, it might be worth your time to listen to a couple of interviews from those who had plenty of reasons to be a victim.
David Anderson, Antonio Smith, Jr., and Kristian Aleixo.

Also, you can learn more about crossing the thinking gap by checking out the newest version of Reinventing Yourself by Steve Chandler.

real income

How to Get Real Income and Recognition as A Creative Entrepreneur

In the last decade, entrepreneurship has exploded. Especially the online entrepreneurial scene. If you get connected to it on Facebook as much as I am, then all you’ll see are ads for courses, events, and plenty of “friends” offering free value for people to like them and eventually buy from them.

There’s such an ocean of online creative entrepreneurs these days, that it’s easy to be overlooked when you’re beginning. Especially if you do B2B work (which I’m not necessarily a fan of the terms B2B or B2C terminology).

So, instead of going the route that we’ve all been trained to believe is the only way, I have a idea for you I was reminded of from a book I’m reading called the Win Without Pitching Manifesto.

In the book, author Blair Enns shares with us the mindset that we need to use to be seen as an expert in our art and work. He does this through Twelve Proclamations which, when I read them, I was like “Yes, yes, YES! Finally someone is telling it like it should be!”

Practitioners Don’t Present, Stars Don’t Audition

See, here’s the thing. The whole idea of sharing content and essentially your work for free is a relatively new idea. Before the internet, what was heard or seen in popular culture was generated by networks, large labels, and celebrities. Nothing was “free”. Not even the music you heard on the radio or TV. It was (and continues to be) paid for the same way that Facebook is paid today – ads!

As hard as it is to imagine today, not all millionaires and billionaires made their fortunes through the internet. Sure, the internet changes things a bit, but like anything else, it should be seen as a tool.

Believe it or not, there are “online entrepreneurs” today who never built an audience until they were already millionaires. In the most recent session of the AoL Podcast with Tony Whatley, we find that he became a millionaire while he was still working a day job as a mechanical engineer! It’s only now that he’s building his audience.

Same thing with Damion Lupo of session 125. He made his millions in the real estate way before building an online following.

Popularity doesn’t necessarily transfer to profit. Is it a way? Sure. Is it the only way? No.

Personally, I’d rather be a practitioner and NOT a performer.

Embrace Your Inner Expertise

As Blair said in his book, no matter what you make, have experience in, or help others do, it’s much easier to work with them when you’re not constantly pitching your services.

Here’s the general idea of how online marketing usually goes down:

We have been trained to think that we must give work for free so we can show our value. Once we show our value, then we have the potential to market. Then, as we market regularly, we might see some sales if we have a product that’s desired by our audience.

The problem with that is that when we pitch our work and services to potential clients and customers, we’re giving them the power to control if they want to buy from us.

However, if we were to approach sales like a lawyer, doctor, or a mechanic then you don’t give up that control.

Doctors, lawyers, and mechanics never do free work. Any time we go to them, we expect to pay (unless of course it’s a pro bono case) for their efforts.

Why should we as creative entrepreneurs think any differently?

Examine, Solution, Implementation

So how do doctors, lawyers, and mechanics work that’s different than other entrepreneurs?

For one, they respect their work. They know that the person who’s talking to them can’t do what they can. Therefore, if they don’t work with them, their problem won’t be solved.

This is called positioning.

Next, through examination, they determine if they’re a fit for what the potential client needs. They do this by offering a vague solution so the client has an idea of what the situation calls for, but they don’t give all the step by step instructions in how to do it.

Next, once the potential client believes that the solution that has been given to them is what is needed, they agree to pay once the expert’s work is implemented.

In our situation, we might not feel comfortable with that arrangement, so we might only implement after payment. Or, you could go halvsies and pay 50% before the work and the rest after the job is done.

Action Steps

Anyhow, guys. This is some advice that I hope you think about. If you’re an artist and want to be rewarded for your work, then this approach will get you more commissions.

Of course, you’ll need to go to more trade shows, go to more conferences, and/or pay for more ads on social media, but it’s much more efficient then hoping you’ll get results.

Oh, and don’t forget to check out that book! It’s a game changer!

full stack designer

Sagi Shrieber – Mindful and Ruthless: Going from Full Stack Designer to Full Time Dream Achiever (AoL 146)

Having success in work you love doing can take awhile to actually happen. There’s certainly a Gap we all have to cross. In that Gap, we tend to ask ourselves different questions ranging from “Why am I still struggling?” to “Should I give up and do what I know I could get paid better for but not like to do as much?” to even “Why am I having so much trouble growing my audience?”.

I know I’ve had these questions myself.

In this session, our guest, Sagi Shrieber, talks to Veronica and I about his career in design and how he was fairly successful right out of graduation. But after awhile, he found himself at a point in his life where he was $50k in debt and still having to support a family.

In our conversation, we learn what he did to start climbing out of this funk as well as why he spent over $70k in improving himself in 2018.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What led Sagi to school to be a designer? 9:40
  • How was he able to have as much success with his career after getting out college? 13:58
  • After having success early on in his career, how did things take a turn for the worse and how did he find himself getting out of his funk? 22:08
  • What did he learn from this experience that he’s still using to this day? 31:50
  • When it comes to the way that Sagi uses it, what does it mean to be “full stack”? 38:17
  • What are some pointers he recommends when someone is building their first business website? 42:56
  • Where can we expect to see Sagi in 2019 conference wise? 55:55
  • What are his favorite top three books he tells others about? 58:12
  • Is there a gift he likes to give? 1:03:31
  • What message is out there that’s a disservice to youth? 1:05:22
  • What one travel tip does Sagi have to share? 1:06:59
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 1:10:23

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Russell Brunson makes $3 million on stage at 10X Growth Con

How to Network with Influential Entrepreneurs

Interview with Pat Flynn

Interview with Paul Jarvis


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherPodBean, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

Paul Tokgozoglu – How Do We Get to Where We’re Going? Exploring the Future Evolution of Mankind (AoL 142)

In this edition of the AoL Podcast, we continuing our in depth look at motivation and what drives people to step out and embrace who they are. During the previous session with Chris Jordan, Chris told us about his life changing turning point and how being a man of Faith has allowed him to live a more fulfilling lifestyle and be a better person.

In contrast, today’s guest is someone who’s actually motivated to be a better version of himself through Natural Laws he’s learned about in the personal development field.

Join Harrison and I as we talk with the host of the Beyond Homosapien podcast, Paul Tokgozoglu. In this chat he’ll share how practicing laws such as the Law of Attraction have continually improved his outlook on life and his engagement with those around him.

On top of this, we’ll also be looking into what we should be expecting when it comes to the changes in work people do in the not too distant future.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What was it like for Paul growing up? 10:27
  • What triggered his interest in personal development? 13:54
  • When did he realize that he wasn’t a victim of the universe? 17:49
  • Where does he see digital marketing going in the near future as a marketer? 29:45
  • What does Paul see happening as all the current technologies continue to move forward? 35:29
  • Is there anything in particular he feels himself currently being pulled more towards to learn about? 48:35
  • What’s going on for Paul in 2019? 56:31
  • What are 3 of his top favorite books that he gifts or tells others about? 59:38
  • If he could ask anyone alive or dead a question, who and what would he ask? 1:01:44
  • What’s one of the biggest differences between marketing to a German market vs a US market? 1:04:40
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 1:08:27

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Paul Online: Website, Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Instagram, YouTube
Cohost: Harrison Painter
Session Sponsor: Fizzle – Get Access to a Library of Great Courses like SEO for Bloggers by Matt Giovanisci FREE for two weeks!
Mat Tricks BJJ Podcast
Law of Attraction
What happened to Blab.fm?
Yuval Noah Harari – 21 Lessons for the 21st Century
Robot passed China’s medical exam
IBM unveiled quantum computer
Elon Musk on Joe Rogan’s show discussing Neurolink
An Iron Will by Orison Swett Marden
Remembering Wholeness – Carol Tuttle
You Can Heal Your Life – Louise Hay
Michael O’Neal talks Life Balance with Natalie Sisson


Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Here’s what you Need to Know about Evolution

Manifestation Pyramid and how the Law of Attraction Works

AI Tech and the Evolution of Man with Anton Harrison-Kern

Ethical Weed with Molly Rose


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherPodBean, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

proactive personality

Developing a Proactive Personality – How the Best Create Their Own Luck and Don’t Try to Control What They Can’t

Manifest: Anything is Possible is the name of the event coming up this month that Amplify is co-sponsoring with Walk the Talk.

In the event’s description, it reads:

The law of attraction is always steadfastly delivering what we have consciously or unconsciously asked for through our focus, our thoughts and most especially our feelings.

We are always in the process of manifesting and creating our lives. This is good news because it means we can change our thoughts to change our world. We can learn to come from an empowered place and use this law to manifest the life of our dreams.

Can’t say that I can disagree with this statement at all. In fact, I think most people who have done any work in the self-help / personal development space would agree with this statement.

However, I think there’s something I should bring up. And, I think it’s something that a lot of people tend to gloss over:

Being proactive is all about controlling what you can control and not expecting what you can’t.

Start with the End in Mind

We’ve all heard about Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. In it, the first two habits are, I think, the hardest two for many people to get used to. Mainly because we live in such a reactive world.

The first one, is simply to stay proactive. Like my co-hosts and I talked about all the way back in session 5 of the AoL Podcast, It’s only when you work proactively that you can become the influencer instead of the influenced.

The second habit is all about planning. It says that if you want to be successful at achieving something, you need to start with the end in mind.

Not to go into too much detail in the football analogy here again, but since we did just see the New England Patriots win the Super Bowl again this past weekend giving both Tom Brady and Bill Belichick their 6th ring, it might be worth noting that there’s no doubt in my mind that they start from day 1 each season with the end in mind.

I’d go on to say that the particular end that they’re going for is easier to illustrate to the new roster because the organization has reached that pinical so many times.

That analogy aside, if you were to build anything, say a dog house, a phone application, or even an organization, you need to know what the final product will look like.

When it comes to these two laws, simply letting the universe (or God) decide our fate, isn’t a great move. We need have that plan in place to get to where we want.

Habit 3 suggests that the first thing we need to do is determine what the order of steps are we need to perform “to get there”.

Luck Does Play a Role

The definition of luck is this: it’s the point where preparedness and opportunity intersect. With that definition, it’s hard to not think that Andrew Luck has learned to truly embody his surname.

Quenton Nelson, who was the Colts’ rookie guard this year, recently said that Andrew is one of the biggest nerds he knows. And he’s not just talking about football. When the team is traveling, Andrew acts as a tour guide of the city they’re visiting.

When we’re wanting to achieve something in our work or lives, we need to not only be prepared, but we also need to be on the lookout for opportunity. Meaning, if you were a fisherman, sure you could have he best gear and have the best techniques, but if you’re not near a body of water, then you’re never going to land a fish.

Likewise, if you’re looking to serve a certain kind of people, but you’re spending your time elsewhere, perhaps that’s not the best move. If you were Andrew, even though you were good at it, you wouldn’t be practicing soccer in preparation for a football game.

External Expectancy: It’s a Trap!

Now, with all this talk about setting out with the end in mind and being lucky, there’s something we really need to watch out for.

Expecting certain results to come to us from the universe after we put in our own efforts.

Here’s the truth: you can only affect the things that you control. It’s when we try to affect things outside of our control that bad stuff happens.

For instance, you might have wanted to write a book. Ok, that’s great. Are you doing it for the right reasons though? Are you wanting to write it because you want to get nationally recognized or because you simply want to get your message out there?

If it’s the latter, then you’re good to start. Build a writing habit (say 1000 words per day) and you’ll have that puppy out in no time.

However, if the reason you’re wanting to write a book is because you want to get that recognition, then you might have some problems. For one, what if it doesn’t get recognized? Does that mean that you shouldn’t create in the future? Does that mean you need to choose a different niche? Perhaps you’re just not cut out to be an author?

It doesn’t mean any of those things. You just put the expectancy on external results.

Here’s another example. Perhaps you wanted to earn more money last year or become more connected in your industry. If you did everything that you could do to make that happen, but you’re upset. I’d argue, what’s really upsetting you isn’t that you failed – because you didn’t. What happened is that the results that you have no control over weren’t what you were expecting.

All of these questions pop up when you expect things to go a certain way and they don’t. So don’t try to control things you can’t control.

If you want more about this topic, Srini Rao did a good writeup over at Unmistakable Creative.

Action Steps

So here we are. Halfway through winter and you’re still spinning your wheels in how you can get out of your individual rat race.

If you really want to make your situation better, the first thing I would do is figure out if you’re truly doing meaningful work. I WOULD NOT set a possibly unattainable goal of being able to change or quit your job or switch the focus of your business in the next 90 days. You need to first get your bearings of who you are, where you fit in the world, and the superpowers you have.

After that, I’d seek out the first mountain you want to climb and start putting steps into place about getting there.

Maybe you want to be a coach – is there a certification that you’d want to get before setting off on that journey? Is the niche of people you’re wanting to serve actually able to pay you for your services? If not, what’s a possible way you can build an income stream from that work?

Maybe you want to be a consultant? Do you know what that entails? Where do you find clients? How would you sell your services to a potential client?

Heck, maybe you love watching American Pickers and you want to do what Mike and Frank do. Do you know what the market value is for antiques? Do you have a place to store your findings? How will you find targets to pick from?

Figure this stuff out before you set out on your own.

And the third step is this – set the fundamental daily habits in place that will enable you to be successful. As I mentioned earlier this year, I’d recommend looking at Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Habits. But there are tons of other books out there on the subject as well that might be a better fit for you.