musician dane maxwell

Dane Maxwell Unplugged – The Journey From Entrepreneur to Musician (AoL 056)

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One huge risk in modern small business is to spend months or years working on a project only to release it… and find nobody wants it.

That’s one of the issues that The Foundation tackles head on.

When I first heard it’s founder (and today’s guest) Dane Maxwell discuss the matter with Pat Flynn on the SPI Podcast, it blew me away.

Not only did he promote not having the initial idea, but he also said you can build this product with no money of your own. (Meaning, if you do it right, you don’t need money to make money!)

Ever since then, I haven’t looked at business the same way.

However, one thing that I realized about the way that Dane approached business was that he was using it as a method to make an income, sure.

But was it his calling?

Today, we find him entering into another point in his life – becoming a musician.

Daniel and I were really interested to find out more about what he was up to when given the opportunity.

In this conversation with Dane, we talk about way more things than the transition. We also discuss what he’s learned about people during his time running The Foundation, why many people struggle to find worth, and more about his style of music and the message he wants to convey with it.

This is a great listen if you’re a fan of Dane’s or genuinely want some good soul food.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • What has been Dane’s perspective on being one of the most influential online entrepreneurs in recent years? 7:08
  • Was music something Dane always wanted to pursue? 9:56
  • What does “born to sing” mean to him? 12:54
  • Why he loves singing in nursing homes. 16:49
  • What was Dane’s childhood like? 19:16
  • Why he believes many people struggle to find out their meaning, purpose, and worth. 21:04
  • Are there any ways for someone to find their worth? 25:24
  • What’s the process of articulating stress in your life to get over it? 27:38
  • What are some musicians that have inspired him? 28:16
  • When did he know it was time to pursue music? 30:16
  • What was the 8 months of vocal lessons like? 34:19
  • How would Dane describe his style of music? 39:12
  • Why he feels people don’t have the discipline to get things done they want to in their life. 41:30
  • What is the cause of all the amazing things that happen in his life? 47:08
  • Does he believe in luck? 47:30
  • Why Dane repeatedly says there is 100 million people in his heart. 57:18
  • What are some of the patterns that Dane sees in music that he did in business? 57:00
  • What’s the message with his music? 1:29
  • Why he really started The Foundation for. 1:14:58
  • One gift Dane likes giving others. 1:20:07
  • One thing he believed when he was 25 but now realizes is wrong. 1:20:16
  • Three truths he’d like to share with others. 1:21:09
  • Who does he think of when he thinks of the word success? 1:22:46
  • … and MUCH more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Dane’s First Music Video


Dane’s Talk on Alignment


Niall Doherty interviews Dane about Mindset


Andrew Ferebee interviews Dane About Integrity and Being a Great Man

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

personal freedom

Are you a Brick or a Stone? Personal Freedom is A Decision

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This week I’m going to be releasing a very special interview of myself and Daniel’s. The guest is Dane Maxwell, formerly known as the guy who has helped numerous people build their own SaaS (Software as a Service) based businesses through a program called “The Foundation”.

If you’re not familiar with Dane, check him out on one of Pat’s “early” podcasts via this link. This interview was a game changer (and still is!) for many online entrepreneurs.

The election process is something that a lot of people take for granted. But in the US, we shouldn’t ever forget how many people have fought for what we have today.

Unfortunately, the powers that are in control in society – especially the media and the federal government – have led many of us to believe we’re only capable of what others say we are.

If you look at both sides of presidential ticket, one side says we need more protection from all the bad things in the world, while the other one says that we need protection from all the challenges that we might face in the world.

Either way you look at it, the Federal Government is trying to tell us we need more of it in our lives.

In return they’ll give us liberty to live a peaceful life and just keep doing what we’re doing.

But is it really so simple?

We’re All Stones Treated as Bricks

I recently heard an analogy about how the world is trying to make us copies of each other. Like we’re being made into bricks to be the infrastructure of this society. We all conform into a certain code of conduct.

And we do. Especially those of us who are products of higher forms of formal education.

It’s what our school system trains us to be. Teach to the test, not the individual.

Sure this is fair treatment, but is it the best treatment?

I don’t think so. Not everyone is the same naturally.

Instead of bricks, we’re more like stones. Some of us are big, some are small. Some have weird angles and yet others are made of different materials.

You can still build with stones… but not as easily as you can with bricks.

It’s easy to understand why working with brick might be more preferable by a craftsman (or in the real world, the top 1% of the top 1%). They want the easiest way to build something that has a strong structure.

But value of the end result isn’t going to be as high as if stones were used.

With bricks, you just place each one on top of each other until you have the form you want and put a roof on it. With stones, you have to strategically think about how each stone fits into the building.

Like Glenn, when I see a stone house, I admire the work that went into it.

Can You Be a Stone once You’ve been Trained as a Brick?

When it comes to people, I believe so. We’re never truly bricks. We’re just treated that way.

That’s really what New Inceptions is all about. Helping people who think they’re bricks “refind” their uniqueness. Their own perfect spot in the world.

When it comes to finding your spot, Dane wants us all to know about our individual worth and value. We are valued for who we are and our contributions to helping others.

You might have heard that he’s becoming a musician to get that message out. Further than he could with The Foundation.

His songs are meant to help people feel loved and appreciated for who they are. Here’s a glimpse:

I recommend subscribing to his newsletter to get the rest of his new songs.

But yes, it takes a lot of work to find what makes you unique and realize you’re a stone.

Exercising Your Personal Freedom

Here’s the deal. You, like me, or even Dane, are not defined by your past.

We don’t have to always be the person that everyone sees us as.

Perhaps society and your education would make you believe otherwise, but really your future does not rely on who you’ve been or what you currently think of myself.

Heck, just yesterday Maria let me know of a guy who killed himself over the pressures of what was going on in his life. From what I understand, he turned to alcohol and other means of blocking out the pain. And eventually it got to him. You really have to feel for his family and the grief that he caused them.

But yet, I’m sure he felt stuck.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

As Sandra Bellamy said in session 50 of the podcast, you need to embrace your quirkiness. Or as I would simply put it, you need to exercise your personal freedom.

How do you do that?

Well, besides what Sandra suggests, I’d become familiar familiar with the 5 Obstacles of Personal Freedom. Start with health because you can’t really help people if you don’t have the energy to.

With it being October of 2016, I want to make sure you’re aware of the fifth one.

You need to know what liberties are currently granted to you in your country. Essentially these are the rules that you have to play by.

If you’re like me, you’ll want to fight to keep things as free as they are. The more liberties governments gives their people, it’s usually done through taking away something else that we weren’t aware of.

Remember that the Constitution is all about what powers the government has – not what liberties it gives us. The government should work for us, not the other way around.

And currently it’s looking more and more like we’re bricks working for it.

Wrap Up

As you’re hearing this heavy pounding of political ads this month in the US, I want you to remember the difference between Personal Freedom and Personal Liberty.

Personal Liberty is the “playing field” that the outside world gives us. Personal Freedom is the freedom you give yourself to be the natural you in that space.

Familiarize yourself with which candidates talk about giving you more freedom. Not necessarily those who talk about “being fair”. Brick makers are usually the ones who talk about strong “education” and treating each other as “equals”.

With the internet, you can educate yourself. Educate yourself to be the best version of you and not what formal education teaches you is “important”.

Also, we shouldn’t judge people by what their demographics are. We should judge them based on their character and their actions – if at all. No one person is inherently better than the next.

Not a person who owns 16 profitable businesses or a person who has a spark of a dream.

Now, get out there and meet some other stones!

mental focus

Increasing Mental Focus – 4 Simple Steps that Can Change Your Life

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Last Week I talked about how you can get more life satisfaction. There’s multiple reasons why someone would want more life satisfaction. With that post, I simply jumped into the how to of getting it started.

In today’s topic, we’re going to dive a little deeper into two of the 4 tactics mentioned in the previous post. Specifically, long term goals and having a growth mindset.

Here’s the thing, while you’re pursuing a long term goal, you’re going to grow as a person. There’s no doubt about it.

However, to do that growing AND achieve those goals, you’re going to have to put in a ton of work.

And to get that work done, you’re going to have to focus.

We All Make Choices

If you’re like me and many people I know, you probably have a busy life. For the most part, going to work takes up a ton of our time. If you have kids, that’s another layer of stuff you gotta do. And if you have extended family – there’s even more stuff you got to manage time for. And let’s not forget all the social things we might be a part of. Gaming, sports groups, you name it.


With all these things that we have to do on a daily basis, it’s hard to imagine how anyone has ever successfully done anything meaningful in their life after entering the workforce.

Seriously, who has the time?

Here’s the answer: You do.

“But how?”, you might be wondering.

We all have time. Everyone has 24 hours a day. Everyone has always had and always will have 24 hours a day.

We all make choices in how we’re going to spend our 24 hours.

Here’s a few that I’ve had to make in the past:

  • Go to a workplace that requires us to be there 7, 8, or even more hours per day.
  • Go to school and do the homework for the classes.
  • Be part of a sports team.
  • Go to the gym.
  • Keep working on that character in that video game.
  • Watch or hear that particular show so we have something to talk with people about.
  • Have friends or family that wants to hang out when we’re not doing work.
  • Sleep.

Many of these choices are things that “busy” people are probably already doing most (if not all) of. However, just because we’re busy doesn’t necessarily mean we’re being productive. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean we’re being satisfied by our lives. I could and will argue that many of these above choices can be distractions.

Most of our Satisfaction in Life Comes from Mental Focus in Working Towards Something

Outside of hanging out with friends and family, there are few things that give us all satisfaction.

Sure you might get some temporary satisfaction in playing games, watching shows, or getting that paycheck from your job. But again, I could argue those things are possibly examples of time that could be used more productively. Especially, if a person is interested in building a more satisfied life.

It’s not that we haven’t used mental focus before. You might have previously focused in school, sports, military… and even, believe it or not, playing video games.

Many would say that video game players are lazy – but they are as dedicated to their craft. Just as much as those who are focused on getting their degree, throwing a ball, or knowing what to do during an emergency situation.

Here’s Cam’s take on it:

In all four of these examples, we feel satisfied because we feel that the work that we’re performing is being put towards building something.

If it doesn’t require mental focus or we don’t feel like we’re building something, then there’s a good chance we’re not going to get satisfaction from the time, resources, or work we spend on a given activity.

Increasing Mental Focus:

So, how do we spend more of our time utilizing our mental focus towards building we care about?

1. Prepare for Prolonged Focus

The first part of being able to successfully focus on something we want to do is give ourselves the ability to actually focus.

If you’re the type of person runs on caffeine all day and doesn’t do much physical activity – that needs to change. You don’t want your body having to rely on caffeine to perform day in and day out – which can happen.

Also, stay hydrated. Personally, this is one that I struggle with myself. I know I don’t drink enough water. Having grown up on all kinds of sodas, juices, and other sugary drinks, I’ve never been able to make drinking water a part of my routine. So if you’re like me, make sure that you’re figuring out other ways of getting your water in. For me, I’ve become a tea-aholic!

One other way to prepare for prolonged focus is by making sure you get plenty of sleep. Seriously.

7 or 8 hours is what we should be shooting for. That means if you’re planning on getting up at 5 or 6 in the morning, you’ll be wanting to go to bed at 9 or 10pm at the latest.

2. Choose Your Most Important Tasks

Once you are rested up and have something to drink near you, you’ll be ready to get going. But before we do, we need to make sure we’re aware of the tasks that we want to do that particular day.

I’ve talked about how important it is to properly plan the tasks you want to get done that week and month. When it comes to doing something in a particular day, all we want to do is 1 to 3 things.

For example, I keep it simple by focusing on writing on Monday, podcast editing on Tuesday and podcast publishing on Wednesday. The rest of the time is committed to marketing, meetings, and specifically on Thursday and Friday, I try to learn and utilize new skills and systems to help with the other days.

3. Clear Space for Focused Work by Getting Rid of Distractions

Distractions come in all sizes. Having a dead end or uninteresting job, playing videogames or watching TV for 4 or more hours a day, or endlessly scrolling through social media or answering emails are examples of distractions.

The difference between distractions and other activities is that distractions are activities that aren’t helping you reach your goals or enriching your life.

If you’re having problems figuring out what the distractions in your life are, then think about the things you do that others would consider a waste of time or you personally feel is “a grind”.

Your job might literally drain you and stress you out. This might grounds to look for another job.

If you feel like you have to play video games “like a job”, then figure out something else to spend your time on. Maybe you feel like you have to be on all the social media platforms that your friends are on. If this is the case, then just pick one and let them know they can actually call you if they need something.

The goal with this step is to make sure we are not being interrupted when we actually sit down and do activities that are meaningful. If you need more help with distractions, here’s a post for more info.

If you want to start small but have some really drastic changes in this department, here are three things you can do today:

  1. Don’t multitask. No one can multitask and if they say they can, they’re still living in the year 2000.
  2. Turn off notifications on your phone and computer
  3. Do not connect to social media or other things until your main tasks are done.
  4. Don’t leave email going all day. Check it twice – preferably mid-morning and before you’re done for the day. DO NOT check it first thing!

4. Get in the Zone – Your Zone

Being busy is something that many of us have grown up believing is the key to success. And the truth is that, being busy is often times a sign that a person isn’t in control of their lives. The busier someone is or seems to be, the more they’re probably at the call of someone else.

So the goal, believe it or not, is to not for you to appear busy all the time. Instead it’s to actually be doing something when you’re wanting to do it and committing to that action. This will get you “in the Zone” or “in flow”. When you’re in flow, you won’t have to worry about others perceiving you as being busy because you will be and the more times you get there, the longer you’ll be able to stay there.

Being in flow for long periods of time is called Deep Work or Slow Working. Interestingly, this type of work yields better results in the long run.

If you’re not used to doing work for a long period of time, shoot for at least a half an hour sprint. And then work your way up to longer periods of time. The goal is to train your mind like a muscle. Ideally you’ll be able to spend enough time in a deep work mode that you’ll be able to finish the task at hand before you need a break.

However, you need to take breaks from time to time. So make sure you do take that lunch hour and walk around for a few minutes every hour or so.

If your current job prevents you from going into the zone on a regular basis, you might want to consider finding another job. I personally believe that being able to be in flow is a vital part of having job satisfaction.

If you’ve never had a job that will allow you to get there, then that might be a sign that it’s time for you to start your own business. This will give you a way to do something you like to do in a way that you will like doing it.

Ending Thoughts

I hope that this post gives you a clearer sense of what focus and subsequently, your work life, should be like. If you believe that you’re not being able to clearly focus on your job or in your business, then it might definitely be time to change some things up.

Lack of focus will cause you unneeded stress. Period. With so many options and opportunities in the world today, it’s just not smart to strap yourself to a particular group of coworkers or a paycheck with a particular name on it.

That might have been expected with the Baby Boomers, but even they know that things are changing quickly. (For a great discussion on this topic, check out my discussion with Dr. Joe Albano)

Your goal is to not look at a job as “working for” a particular company. It’s to look at a job as “working with” them. If you can’t find the partnership you seek in your current industry, you owe it to yourself to find that partnership elsewhere – even if it means starting your own business.

Word of advice: Don’t expect for your current company to change for you. Just because you might be starting to find your own goals in life, doesn’t mean your current place of employment agrees with those goals.

You might have to move. But that’s ok, because you don’t want to work at a place you’re not appreciated.

If you find yourself looking for a new job, do your due diligence when you’re interviewing and find out if the position truly works for you along with the goals and culture of the company that you’ll be working with.

veronica kirin

Veronica Kirin on Utilizing Personal Connections in Web Design and Coaching (AoL 051)

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Of course you’re worried about your business idea. You’re not sure if it has what it takes to do anything out in the wild of the market. Do people really want what you have to offer? Who knows?

For so many of us, this worry keeps us from moving forward with our idea. Many times we’re held back more by the fear of what we might lose than what we might gain – even if we don’t have anything to lose yet.

According to today’s guest, Veronica Kirin, women tend to feel this fear and other emotions even more. She herself has had to struggle with being an outsider looking in – in her home town. She says,  “both men and women burn out, but women have to deal with extra hurdles that men might not have to”. 

Knowing these differences allows her to design websites and coach her clients in a very personal manner. She gets it because she’s been there herself.

In this chat, Laila and I talk with her about how she got over her initial obstacles of starting a business. (Which included having people in her network that didn’t support what she wanted to do because she had other ideas.) We also talk a bit about her new podcast, Degrees of Separation, and we also find out more about her experiences with coaching.

The thing about business ideas is that there’s no such thing as certainty, only confidence. There is no way to tell if a business is going to work with 100% certainty, but we can find confidence. Perhaps hearing Veronica’s story, will help you start finding your confidence.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • Where her interest in helping others came 13:55
  • Why she majored in Social Anthropology and how she put it to use after graduation. 15:21
  • Why she decided to start a non-profit disaster relief organization. 20:21
  • How her first business, Green Cup Design, got started. 23:30
  • What she learned from Fuse West Michigan 28:53
  • How she knew it was time to enter into coaching 33:01
  • What she likes and dislikes about coaching 38:30
  • Why do entrepreneurs struggle with getting past point A? 43:44
  • Why she wrote a presidential speech when she was 17 49:08
  • Struggles women might have when starting an entrepreneurial career 50:18
  • What her new podcast, Degrees of Separation, is about. 55:21
  • What other projects she’s looking forward to releasing. 56:37
  • Who are 3 of her favorite influencers? 58:53
  • What are 3 of her favorite podcasts? 59:53
  • One gift she likes giving others. 1:00:18
  • Something she’d tell her 21 year old self is bogus. 1:00:45
  • Message or ad that she’d put out into the world where lots of people would see it. 1:01:57
  • When she thinks of success, who comes to mind? 1:02:49
  • … and MUCH more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Interview with Chad Bostick:

Trailer for Untold Stories:

Where Untold Stories Came From:

Virgil Westdale on why he’s happy Veronica is doing Untold Stories:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

 

sandra bellamy

Sandra Bellamy: How to Embrace Your Quirky to Be Your Own Authentic Self (AoL 050)

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Society in general teaches us to not only care what other people think, but that we have to conform to those thoughts. For many people, that’s not a problem. But for us creatives it can be really hard. And often times we find ourselves asking two questions:

Am I living the life that I’ve seen for myself? And “Who am I going to live my life for?”

The answer to those two questions often times leads to the formation of one’s own passion based business.

In fact, that’s what happened to today’s guest, Sandra Bellamy.

Not only did Sandra come to this realization back in 2012, but she’s made it her mission to help other people figure out for themselves that they’re connected to a Matrix that has no interest in their personal desires. She calls it “Embracing Your Quirky”.

The truth is that once we unplug, we have to start believing in ourselves and take a big leap of faith – because no one else is going to on our behalf.

In this chat, we talk about how she learned to embrace her quirky, how you can do so in your daily life, and we also dive a bit into her experiences as a writer and why she believes that anyone can be a writer.

It’s a practical and exceptionally helpful episode. Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How can someone tell if they’re not embracing who they are enough? 22:23
  • Why she loves “the lifestyle of a teenager” to empower how she see’s herself. 23:14
  • How someone can “embrace their own quirky” more. 26:30
  • What are some of the experiences that she’s had working with others. 30:06
  • Why she has a wide spread of book topics and where each one came from. 34:42
  • How she’s able to write so much and why she believes that anyone can be a writer. 46:39
  • What she’s looking forward to in the not too distant future. 51:38
  • What are three thought leaders she recommends to other people the most. 54:13
  • One thing that’s under $100 that has changed her life. 55:15
  • One gift she likes giving others. 55:50
  • 3 truths that she would share with others. 56:06
  • Something she believed when she was 24 but now thinks is bogus. 58:00
  • When she thinks of the word success, who comes to mind and why? 1:00:31
  • … and MUCH more!

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Stop Worrying, Start Living:

5 Lessons from Launching a Amazon Kindle Book:

Free Book and Review Opportunity from Red Door Publishing:

Andy Harrington’s story of how Tony Robbins Changed his Life:

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunes, Stitcher, Soundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

take control of your life

7 Ways to Stop Being a Victim and Take Control of Your Life

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A video from this past winter of Gary Vee’s got me thinking. The world is full of victims. And really, much of the direction of the country as a whole is going because of how many people in their lives that they are a victim – more to the point – a victim of their circumstance. Here’s that video:

Just this past weekend, I had the opportunity to sit down with a friend of mine from the Muncie area. As we were talking, he made it clear that he felt that his place in life made it hard for him to progress in life. Having a disability from a past job and not feeling like he could be retrained to do something else due to his age, he seemed adrift in his career. Just bobbing up and down in the sea of life and letting whatever currents that be take him with them.

I asked him, “if you had an ideal life, what would it look like?”. He said “You know, I haven’t really thought about that because it seems like it would be too far out of reach.”

I then asked him, “How do you think that the Olympic athletes are there doing their thing? Do you think they thought that being there was out of reach?”

His response was, “No. But they had people that helped them get there. They knew the right people.”

“Interesting.”, I replied. The conversation continued after that for a bit… but I could tell that I got his mind spinning a bit.

Formal Education Can be a Waste of Time

Now, if you’re not familiar with the Muncie, Indiana area – it used to be full of manufacturing jobs. However, since those jobs have all but left the country, there are many people who are still displaced and trying to figure out what to do with their lives. (A bi-product of this loss of jobs has been the rise of drug use in the area – including, but not limited to, meth.)

When I worked at Ivy Tech for a few years, my students were mainly a mixture of kids just out of high school and these displaced individuals. I’m glad that they were there. Whether they were there because they got some money from the state to be there (school loans that might later hurt them) or they actually realized that education IS a way to move forward. I loved these adult learners – but I hated that I wasn’t getting the opportunity to teach them important things that would help them actually move forward in their lives.

Seriously. How is Algebra going to help them? They need a whole reworking of how they see the world. Not the knowledge of how to find the equation of a line drawn on a grid!

Even when I first went to college, I was hoping that it would teach me skills that I would actually be able to apply to having a successful life. Instead all I was taught was code, equations, and facts. While it applied to me getting a job, it never applied to real life.

When I graduated, I pretty much had the same perspective on life that I did when I entered. I just had a higher vocabulary. (Which, funny enough, ostracized me from everyday folks outside out of academia. Later, when I did start teaching at Ivy Tech, I had to become more relatable and adjust my speaking patterns again.)

I can attribute my new perspective on the world as starting during my active years in LTD. That was the first time in my life that I had positive and successful people around me. I learned from them how to start learning how to live a better life myself. And the biggest thing that I learned was that I needed to adjust my own victim perspective. (Soon, with the passing of my mom, I also realized that the mindset of a victim can actually kill. She had several things wearing on her at the time and anytime I hear people stuck in life with little options, I really feel their pain. It usually brings me back to what she was going through.)

7 Steps to Retaking Control of Your Life

So, how did having these people in LTD specifically help me get out of having a victim mindset? Well, you’re in luck. I’m going to share you a list of steps that I can look back on and see what I did to start getting to point where I am today.

Become aware and realize when you’re playing the victim card.

Like any other “normal” behavior, blaming others for your misfortunes can become a habit and even an addiction. Like any other addiction, we need to be able to admit that we need to make a change in our own life before we can actually do it.

Realize why you actually do it.

  • You might want attention and validation. You can always get good feelings from other people as they are concerned about you and try to help you out. On the other hand, it may not last for that long as people get tired of it.
  • You don’t have to take risks. When you feel like a victim you tend to not take action and then you don’t have to risk for example rejection or failure.
  • You don’t have to take the sometimes heavy responsibility. Taking responsibility for your own life can be hard work, you have to make difficult decisions and it is just heavy sometimes. In the short term it can feel like the easier choice to not take personal responsibility.
  • It makes you feel right. When you feel like the victim and like everyone else – or just someone else – is wrong and you are right then that can lead to pleasurable feelings.
  • As with any other bad habit (or addiction), being aware of what you’re actually doing is will give you the ability to start thinking about those actions rationally. It’s when you’re aware of your actual choice that you can start thinking about taking different actions.

It’s Ok to Not Be a Victim

Anytime we think about doing something different in our life, we always wonder what others in our life are going to think. If you’re a gamer, you’re going to wonder what your gaming buddies are going to think. If you’re an alcoholic, you’re going to wonder what your buddies at the bar are going to think. The list goes on.

Also realize that you’re going to struggle with it yourself. You may have spent hours each week with thinking and talking about how wrong things have gone for you in life. Or how people have wronged you and how you could get some revenge or triumph over them. This whole new thinking process is going to be new to you. It’s going to be tough, but in the end it’ll be worth it to be free.

Now you have to fill your life with new thinking that may feel uncomfortable because it is not so intimately familiar as the victim thinking you have been engaging in for years.

Take Responsibility for your Life.

Stop waiting on other people’s approval to live your life. As much as you might think growing up, you’re not your parents, and they’re not you.

Growing up, if we’ve had good parents, they’ve programmed into us that we’re capable of doing anything with our lives. However, over time we might start feeling that we’re not living to their standards. (I know that’s something that I’ve struggled with in the past.)

From this, we start developing self-esteem issues. We start believing that we’re totally capable of living a good life, but for whatever reason, it’s not happening.
We might lash out on other people, we might drown ourselves in other types of addictions to avoid the pain that we’re feeling.

This damages other vital parts of our lives: relationships, ambitions, and other achievements. Obviously, this isn’t a good thing.

Until we take take responsibility for our own lives, this pain of ours continues. If anything goes wrong in life, take responsibility for it – unless your life is literally threatened then you should probably blame the other guy. 😉

(Side note: Also forget what other people say if you’re having issues there. You don’t need to be part of a group that disrepects you as a person.)

Have Gratitude for What you do Have.

I can almost guarantee you that you’re probably upset about where you’re at in life – with something. You might have thought that you were going to be farther in life than you currently are. Maybe you thought you’d be married by now. Maybe you want to have kids and you don’t yet. Maybe you actually have a successful business now, but you don’t own the Jets yet (looking at you, Gary. 😉 )

The truth is that there’s a thing called “The Missing Tile Syndrome”. We all have it and need to deal with it regularly. The best way to deal with it is to appreciate that all the other tiles in our lives are in place. That maybe we have a loving family and that we have a good job to pay the rent or mortgage. Or that we can travel anywhere in the world that we want to at any time.

Having a journal can help immensely with this step.

Forgive Those who Trespass Against You.

At this point, you’re starting to realize that you’re not perfect. That’s great! But you also have to give others the benefit of the doubt too. The truth of the matter is that no one has time to worry about your life more than they worry about their own. So they’re going to piss you off from time to time because they’re just trying to do their thing.

Forgive those that cut you off in traffic. They might be having a really bad day. Forgive those that cut in line at the fair or Disney World – they might actually have a VIP pass. (Is that an actual thing?)

The point being is that you bring on this negative energy onto yourself when you have these feelings. You want positive energy and forgiving does that. Start thinking about other people’s perspective when they seemingly are picking on you. (Unless again if your life is ACTUALLY threatened… then you might want to go into self preservation mode.)

Turn your focus outward and help someone out.

There’s a saying, “People don’t care about what you know until they know that you care”. But the problem is that people really don’t know who you are (because why would you have ever shown them the real you?) or they don’t know you’re trying to make a change to be a better person.

Action speak more than words. So if you’re true intent is to ultimately feel that you’re not a victim, there’s nothing more that will show this than actually being of service to other people.

Really, when you’re known as being a server and later a servant leader, that’s when you really know you’re no longer a victim – you’re a victor.

Sometimes You’ll Need to Give Yourself a Break.

Sometimes you’re going to have relapses in your feelings about yourself and your new decisions. It’s part of what makes us human. In entrepreneurship, it’s called the entrepreneur emotion rollercoaster.

Sometimes you’re going to love what you do. Sometimes you’re going to wonder if it’s worth your trouble.

When I’m on the bottom of this rollercoaster, I’ll remind myself that I’ve done the work to come to this point and realize that this is who I am and no one can take that from me.

In your instance, you might simply need to realize that it’s not about being perfect. It’s about being happy. Sometimes other people are going to crap on you on rainy days. Just remember that they’ll get theirs and there’s nothing you should do to speed that process up because you’ll look bad in the process (again, unless it’s about actually surviving… then take them out or escape. We don’t want anyone suffering from Stockholm Syndrome).

Action Steps:

Below, I’d love to hear from you! Let me know how these work out for you if you get a chance to use them in your life too. Or maybe you’ve gone through a similar process? Let me know if I left anything out!

personal freedom

5 Obstacles in Achieving True Personal Freedom

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No matter who you are or what you’re doing, those of us who are leading (or trying to lead) passion filled lives and businesses are doing so because we feel that we can be ourselves better than what a boss can prescribe for us. We’re trying to gain our Personal Independence, or as most call it, Personal Freedom. Most people don’t like being bossed around, right? (Obviously there’s an exception. But I have yet to meet that person…!)

Until you have personal freedom, you’re always going to have that as a possibility in your life.

In the last post, I spoke of 4 common problems that people have when trying to start a business. These problems are part of a larger list of obstacles that I want to point out in today’s post. Without overcoming these obstacles through actively working on them, or simply through understanding them, a person can never have true Personal Freedom.

Health

The first thing everyone should be able to maintain at an optimum level is their health – both physical and mental. This is the first level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Due to this, many of us who are thinking about building a business take this part for granted. However, ignoring it can have a very negative impact on everything else we do.

In fact, if a person doesn’t have their sanity or the energy to do the activities that need to be done in a certain day, then they won’t get very far.

For many people this is a daily struggle. These people are living a Caged Life. Combined with the potential of not having shelter (the second level of Maslow’s), these folks might not ever think about starting their own business.

That said, one good thing that comes from having to struggle daily is a natural tenacity for “Hustle”. And, ironically, that’s an important ingredient to building a business.

Community

The third level of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is Love and Belonging. Once we have ourselves taken care of, we naturally want to start reaching out to others. Our need to engage with others is part of what it means to be human. We want to feel connected to people who are interested in the same things we are. I like to think of this as a need for us to feel that we have social proof. That we’re not alone.

As mentioned in the 6 Cornerstones eBook, a tribe is a very good thing to have when we’re aiming for higher success – it gives us support for when the going gets tough!

If this is done with authenticity, it gives us a feeling of esteem (Maslow’s fourth level) because we know that people appreciate the true us!

Once we have our health and know our role in our community, you could say that we’re experiencing a Comfortable Life. Life is good, but it’s not great. And funny enough, it’s been said numerous times that Good is, in fact, the enemy of Great. It’s really hard to give up Comfortable for what’s coming next…

Knowledge and Skills

On the top of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs is Self Actualization. This is where we start realizing who we are. That we do have passions, particular strengths, and know where we fit in life. It’s when we have this understanding, that we can master our knowledge and build other skills that will supplement what we already know about ourselves and how we interact with the world.

Because we can always keep learning about ourselves and the world around us, this journey never ends. And if you were looking for a label for someone that’s here…  this is called living a Charged Life.

As a side note, our current school system doesn’t work in our favor when it comes to this obstacle. In fact, it makes it worse. Formal education makes us great soldiers who fit like cogs in a larger machine (society) where we don’t question if we’re in the right place.

So to be free in our knowledge and skill building, we typically have to go outside of the formal school system because it isn’t in their best interest to teach us about who we are as individuals.

One way of gaining more knowledge is by actively going out there and seeing it for yourself. That’s why so many millennials would rather have experiences than having things.

Financial

This factor and the next are not necessarily ascending levels like the past three are. But it’s something that I need to discuss in further detail because they’re not discussed hardly at all in formal education in a way that everyone can understand.

As you probably know, the better our finances are, the more options we have in life. What do I mean by this? In our current world, having financial freedom is what gets rid of living a life where you have a boss giving you orders all the time. Obviously, you can buy more expensive things, travel and see the world, but another benefit of having your finances taken care of is that YOU have the ability to help others out in times of need. Have a family member or friend who’s struggling? You don’t have to think twice about helping them out.

What’s interesting is that financial freedom isn’t really as far away as you might think. In fact, it’s  up to you to determine what that means. To me, I think it’s about living the life you want to live while staying within your means. If your cost of living is lower than what your business (or other income) earns you, then you can technically call yourself financially independent.

The whole point of opting for a business versus having a job is becoming financially free. When you’re financially free, you don’t answer for anyone other than yourself and potential clients – but that’s the same even if you have a job.

Just remember, if you don’t tell yourself what to do, the world will gladly put someone next to you will. There’s leaders and followers. Make yourself a leader.

(Just a note: I watched The Wolf of Wall Street over the weekend. Really interesting movie if you can stomach lots of skin, drug use, and swearing. I found it incredible in how quickly he was able to capitalize on penny stocks and quickly start his own firm. In case you already saw it, here’s a list of other movies you can check out as well if you want to learn more about what being an entrepreneur is all about.)

Government – Know the Rules

We should have a clear understanding of how the rules work in our country so that we can know how we can play the game of life within the rules that are set up.

In other words, I like to think of a government as being the entity that makes the rules for it’s people. Which is true, right?

If you think of great sports players, they know how to use the rules to their advantage when needed.

Take Peyton Manning, for example. One of the best, if not the best player that ever played the quarterback position in football.

Up until the past couple of years when they changed the rule, occasionally, he’d hurry his team up to the ball and take the snap as quickly as possible. Why? Because he wanted to get the other team sleeping with too many people on the field.

The other team would get penalized which would in turn gain him a few additional yards… getting him closer to his goal.

Knowing little ins and outs of how the rules work, can really help your game.

Action Steps

So, that about does it! On that last note, if you do have any feedback you’d love to send my way, please do. I’d love to hear it!

As for this post, I wanted to dedicate some time to open up about what personal freedom is all about and let you in on my brain a little bit. These topics are important to me, and I hope you find that they’re cool with you too. My hope is that maybe what I’ve said here will help you prepare for what’s coming… not just in your business (because again I believe it’s the only way to have Financial Freedom) but also help you navigate the waters of life in general.

Supplemental: My Perspective on the Current Political Scene

If you’re not following me on Facebook, you’re missing out on some good postings recently. Currently, the election cycle is in full swing and as many of you know, I’m what many might call a Conservative Libertarian.

In my mind, the simple description of a Conservative Libertarian who believes that the government is in charge of the basics for everyone. These basics are expressed through the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. These are the rulebooks for our government. They say what the government CAN’T do.

Somehow, people have gotten this perspective that they’re about what the government CAN do, which is why they might also think that the rules are out of date. However, when you change the rulebook and what it can do, you’re changing how the game is played.

People generally don’t understand the rules – and again, it’s at the fault of “Formal Education”.

Where Things Stand Currently

Currently, many people rely on the government for one program or another. Typically these are the same people who are stuck in the first few levels of hierarchy of needs. They don’t see past tomorrow because they can’t. So why should they care about what comes after it?

While these programs seem like they’re doing good, they’re actually weakening us as a country. Why would anyone work for something if they’re going to get it for free? Principle? Sure. But for how long?

The problem is that there’s so many people out there that don’t care that what they rely on to get to the next day is coming off the hard work of others. It’s not even that they don’t care. It’s that they’re indifferent to it. They don’t know how things work.

As more and more people take “advantage” of these programs or rely on the government to make big decisions for the people and make everything easier, the more those who have made working for government a career gain more power. Not just power for themselves, but power over you, the individual. This is called Progressivism.

Currently, we have two people who, in their personal history, have shown that they are Statists. A Statist is someone who believes that the state should control either economic and/or social policy to some degree.

One is from Big Money and the other is from Big Government. Many people don’t realize that Big Money folk pay Government members to make legislation that will help them out. The more that these people make laws together, the more the little guy (you and I) get pushed out.

A Growing Oligarchy

As we continue to ask the government for favors because we “deserve it”, we move closer and closer to what’s called an oligarchy. (Here’s one of most referenced videos that describes what that is and more.) The more favors they provide, the more people that need to be in control of those favors. The larger the government (or ruling class) gets.

If the United States ever becomes an oligarchy, we will have became the opposite of what the country was originally founded on. A place where we can never have the opportunity for Personal Freedom. It won’t matter how much you tried to do what you wanted, at this point you have a society which has a specific purpose for you, and you’re going to do that specific job.

So this is why I harp on politics as much as I do. Right now I realize how much we have to lose if the rules are changed completely. While I’m fairly new to this whole personal freedom chase myself, I want to at least have a shot.

With the government adding more and more rules in how people function together, it gets harder and harder for EVERYONE to be more and achieve more in life.