increase confidence

Expect to Win – 3 Ingredients We Need to Increase Confidence

Confidence is something that is discussed quite a bit in entrepreneurial and self-help circles. It is extremely important in almost every part of our lives, but yet so many people struggle to find it. Without it, it’s almost impossible to find true success in what we want out of our lives.

In fact, it’s a vicious cycle between confidence, goal setting, and success.

When we have low confidence, we find it hard to set goals. We think that it’s useless because we won’t achieve them. Then, without setting goals, it’s almost impossible to be successful because we’re not defining what that success looks like.

So, how do we turn this cycle around? How can we become more confident in what we’re doing to eventually feel and be more successful?

Let’s take a look.

It Starts with Action

When I was active in LTD, I really enjoyed the training that was available. I’ve posted about much of what I’ve learned in past blog posts. But one of the things that was taught pretty frequently to new members was this simple idea:

Taking Action yields Results which yields Belief. The more Belief we have, the more likely we’re going to take further Action.

While this might sound like confidence, it’s only a part. Through taking Action and gaining more Belief, we’re actually building Competence in what we’re doing.

What’s great about building competence by practicing a certain skill set is that it’s pretty straight forward. Just start and learn from the action you take. Do it again and again and you’ll gain not only a feeling of confidence that you can do that particular thing but you’ll also gain a bit of appreciation of the work you’re doing.

Believe in the Mission

While we gain confidence through simply performing simple actions, we start to also gain a bit of an identity of ourselves through this work. It gain even more confidence when we start out with a perception of who we are and what we’re about. When our actions and results start fulfilling that perception, then we start building confidence through Congruence.

As you guys know, I’m a fan of the Colts and have been since I was in junior high. Over the years, I’ve gone from a fan who was only excited about watching the games, to a fan who analyzes the team as a whole. Not just paying attention to the players but what the leadership is saying as well. Not just through the games, but listening to what the coaches say and what the players are saying as well.

This past weekend’s game (and this past season) is a great example of seeing Congruence at work. Rookie head coach Frank Reich has installed a winning identity into the team. From the preseason where the leadership actually focused on winning games to this past weekend, there has been an expectation to come out of games with a win.

Even though they started the season at 1-5, they have rallied to get into this season’s playoffs. While they’ve been competitive and played pretty good ball all year, they definitely weren’t getting the results they were going for early on. However, the leadership didn’t lose faith and kept an even keel.

As they started to win, many members of the team started to realize that when they had that losing streak, it was mainly because they were sabotaging themselves. They weren’t living up to their own expectations. With a combination of this new belief in what they’re doing and performing their individual jobs correctly, they have dug themselves out of a hole. And they are now the 3rd team ever to get into the playoffs after starting with one win and five losses.

So, here’s the takeaway from this: Know and be clear on what you’re going for. Find your own personal mission. Take action and learn from past mistakes. As you get better at your skills and start fulfilling your mission, you’ll gain even more confidence.

Connect and Work with Others

When thinking about people who are successful, most of the time we look at them as the reason that they were successful. However, that usually isn’t the case. Great people are successful because they’ve built a great network. They’ve built a team. They have learned how to Connect.

In fact, the most successful people in the world aren’t those who have worked the hardest and it’s not those who have the most talent. While those are great things that can most certainly help, the real catalyst is knowing how to meet others, work with them, and elevate them to achieve things they couldn’t without you.

When you’re executing the best you can in a mission you believe in and doing so with other people, then there’s probably a good chance you have a certain level of confidence that will help you achieve anything you set out to do.

If building this network is something you want to develop, check out Jordan Harbinger and his podcast.

Action Steps

So if you want to build confidence in yourself and in what you’re doing, I first suggest finding out what your own personal mission is. Once you know that, you have the biggest part of achieving success – clarity.

At this point it’s up to you to build the skill sets you need to achieve that mission as well as figure out those who you need in your team to help you succeed.

After all, it doesn’t matter how good a Quarterback is if he doesn’t have a supporting cast. He needs other players to have a chance at winning the game.

Kristian Aleixo – Escaping the Clutches of Fate: Building Resilience to Life’s Speed Bumps (AoL 137)

To succeed in life we’re all going to have obstacles get in our way. Sometimes it’ll be people telling us we can’t do something. Other times it might be a lack of knowledge about a certain topic.

Today’s guest, Kristian Aleixo, is all about taking obstacles head on. However, he looks at them as challenges. And while he might not necessarily have the solution to dealing with the challenge right away, he doesn’t make any excuses and makes it his mission to figure it out.

This attitude is helped him in his career as a race car driver. And because of his resilience, he’s looking to become an IndyCar racer in the next couple of years.

In this session, we hope that you’re inspired to learn how to appreciate challenges. Because once you conquer them, you can use them as part of your story in helping others!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How does Kristian compare to the stereotypical racecar driver? 6:31
  • What kind of mindset does it take to dig deep when obstacles get in his way of being a high performer? 12:42
  • What is the importance of building relationships with organizations around the community as a professional athlete? 17:06
  • Are there any pointers that Kristian would recommend to help assimilate into a new city or community? 23:09
  • What was the catalyst for him to write his first book? 29:41
  • How did he find the time to actually write it? 32:34
  • How many versions of the book did he end up going through? 38:57
  • What does the future look like for Kristian? 40:45
  • How does training work for today’s racer? 42:32
  • What is his top 3 favorite books? 47:26
  • Is there something he’s become good at saying no to? 48:34
  • What’s something that lot of people don’t realize is a huge waste of money? 49:11
  • What on his bucket list might surprise people? 50:48
  • What’s the secret to achieving personal freedom? 51:38

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Kristian’s Fuzion Magazine Interview

Kristian with Engel Jones on 12 Minute Convos

Kristian on Amplify Indy Podcast

Simulator Driving with Kristian


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

high performer

Giving Your A-Game – What it Takes to be a High Performer

When it comes to labeling common sense and things that happen in an everyday working environment, the Organizational Leadership (OLS) department at Purdue is my standard.

During my studies, I remember thinking “that makes sense” to so many concepts that we learned about. From the importance of the transition period in organizational change, to mentorship, to even something as simple as communication. There was a name for everything.

Since then, I’ve run across a number of topics that have blown me away. I find it amazing that something which originally seemed relatively vague and difficult to comprehend can be simply explained by a label and a quick explanation.

It love it whenever something just clicks into place.

Recently, as I’ve been preparing to be better version of myself in 2019, I’ve been reading several books that I’ve been meaning to in the last few years.

One of those books is Brendon Burchard’s High Performance Habits. And I have to say I’ve gotten a ton of takeaways from this book. In fact, I wrote about one of those takeaways in the last post.

And in this post, I have one more to share with you. It’s all about realizing if you’re bringing your current project, your current role, heck – even your current relationships, your A-Game.

 

Bringing Your A-Game

Now, a lot of us are familiar with this phrase. If not, bringing one’s A-Game is about giving something you’re working on or participating in your complete effort – your full commitment. It’s a phrase that I’m guessing originally came from the sport world – but it’s used in all kinds of situations.  

In life, we need to think as every day as game day.  You simply can’t achieve your goals with B-effort.

That being the case, not everyone brings their full focus or a great attitude to what they’re working on. And, since most projects consist of more than one person, I think we need to be able to identify what level of commitment people are at when they’re working with us.

So let’s take a look at these various levels or identities.

 

Game Player Identities

There are 5 identities we can give people we know in some aspect of our life. Whether that’s at work, a sports league, a band, or even in an online multiplayer guild situation. When we find something which is important to us, we often want to know that the other people on our team are putting in the same amount of effort – if not more.

When I think of great players in sports, I can’t help but think of all the extra time they put into mastering their craft. And you better believe that the best players at any competitive online game have a team that they regularly train with.

If this is the case, why shouldn’t we hold those that we work with – including ourselves – under the same expectations?

So here ya go:

Dabblers

They have a passing interest in whatever it is that they’re “involved” with. I wouldn’t even call it being “involved”. They’re basically just taking whatever they’re doing for a test drive and not really committing to it. Unfortunately, a good part of their life is probably this way. They don’t take much, if anything, serious.

Novices

Like Dabblers, they have an interest in what they’re doing. But, unlike Dabblers, they actually see themselves eventually mastering whatever it is that they’re doing. They want to commit.

Problem is, they might not do that well with discouragement. And whenever they hit a wall without the proper support, they might just shelve whatever they’re starting on. Be this for simply a later date or when they feel more prepared to take on the task.

 

Amateurs

These folks have more than an interest – they have a passion – in whatever it is that they’re working on. This passion (also known as a Why?) keeps them more committed to long term goals, but they tend to need more external motivation to keep going.

When I think of this group, I like to remember that the first time I heard of Tiger Woods, he was playing as an amateur. Sure, he had what it took to get to the next level, but how many people did he play with that didn’t move on to the pros? Likewise when it comes to college level sports, there’s a lot of external pressure from coaches for individuals to perform.

 

Players (Professionals)

When people become pros, not only do they have to perform on another level, but they are also in charge of themselves and their actions quite a bit more. As long as these folks feel as if they are being fairly compensated for their efforts, then they’ll do fine.

However, they are also highly dependent on set rules and routines.

I think this is one reason why you see a lot of college recruited players fail at playing professional sports. They’re simply not prepared to make the transition. They don’t see the change of the game and their surroundings as fair. A good example of an athlete failing to make this transition is Ryan Leaf. (Even though he’s realized it since then.)

We don’t see this in just sports either. Many people outside of sports have issues with this transition, too.

For example, a lot of military personnel really struggle with life when they get out.

When they’re in their unit, they’re used to a certain way of doing things. They have a certain job that they’re supposed to do to make the machine work.

However, when they are discharged, they simply don’t have the support to make a successful transition to a civilian life.

When players don’t have things go their way, they find it hard to recover at times.

 

High Performers

Finally, we have the pinnacle of performers. The elite players – the GOATs (Greatest of all Time).

What is it about these folks that makes them so successful? Well, for one, they have greater all-around necessity, skill, and team spirit. In fact, not only do they have such a high degree of personal excellence and duty to their team (which makes them the de facto go-to player), but they have this uncanny ability to make everyone around them better.

When you think of these people in sports, we often think of people like Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, Tom Brady, Drew Brees, and for you baseball fans – Babe Ruth. Who do you want to have the last chance to score?

In the working world, people like Elon Musk and Steve Jobs come to mind. Who would you want to run your company?

While these individuals might not have an well rounded life, they’re definitely well known for their work – their game. They don’t want to master just one of area of the game – but want to be known for their commitment in mastering the game entirely.

 

Action Steps

Pretty interesting, huh? Just like last post, my recommendation for your next step is to get this book of Brendon’s and read (listen to) it. In the last couple of years Gary V is credited for saying “Skills are cheap, passion is priceless.” In a nutshell, knowing how to be a high performer is knowing how to act on your personal mission.