patrons only

Patrons Only! – Making Past Seasons of the AoL Podcast “Pay to Listen”

As I mentioned in the last podcast, I’m going to start putting past “seasons” of the podcast behind a Patreon paywall. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to flip the switch until late December… and I’ll only be asking $3/mo to have access. 🙂

It’s a result of a lot of strategic reorganizing I’ve been doing recently.

This week, I’ll be pushing out session 134 with Antonio Smith, and as I said in the last session with Dom Brightmon, it just feels with all that’s going on with New Inceptions and Amplify Indy – I feel like it’s time to actually get over the hurdle of going from strictly FREE to PAID content.

Personally, I feel that $3 is a good number for a monthly patron fee. It surely isn’t going to break the bank, and frankly, one typically can spend more on drive thru food. Since what the show has to offer is comparably more beneficial, I think it’s a fair starting price.

That said, you might be wondering what has taken me so long to pull the trigger on this decision.

Well, I’ve been struggling with what’s called the FREE to PAID hurdle.

This hurdle involves a few questions:

  • How do you make something that starts off free into something you pay for?
  • Will the audience still be there once it goes behind a paywall?
  • What’s the right price point?

In this post, I’ll give you a few of my thoughts after hearing a podcast over Fizzle awhile back.

 

Marketing Plays to Our Buying Habits

When it comes to what we think of the “traditional” offline world of business, NOTHING is free. However, since the mid to late 2000’s, the internet has revolutionized how marketing is done. No longer do we first hear something on a show or commercial on a major network or channel, then determine if we want to buy from there.

Instead, when we hear a name, product, or service we go look to see what’s on the web about said item or person. We look for reviews in Angie’s List. We look to see if they have any other content. Or we go to Amazon to see what others have thought about the item in question.

Usually, the more content this person has out there or the more good reviews they or the product have, the more we pay attention to it.

Eventually, there’s a good change we will buy whatever is being sold.

Podcasts in the past have been a part of this marketing. Inherently we think that most shows are free. But are they?

 

Monetization of Efforts

No content or work is free. It takes resources to produce a good or service. Shows that are on TV are powered by the sponsors of the network through commercials.

Big podcasts are typically sponsored by ads as well.

Heck, even when you look at big channels on YouTube, they’re doing some sort of monetization – even if you can’t tell up front how they’re making an income doing what they do.

When I thought about how I was going to monetize Angles of Lattitude, I originally thought that affiliate marketing was going to be the best way to do it. But as online streaming of podcasts has become more common, we’ve all grown accustomed to skipping past parts of interviews we don’t want to hear – including the pitch at the beginning and end. (For example, I know Lewis Howes and Tim Ferriss usually take 5 minutes to get into their conversations!).

Because I’m not a fan of midrolls, I’ve opted not to use them in the show. Yes, I know they’re the only marketing that people don’t always tune out during podcasts – I just personally don’t care for that jump in the conversation.

So trying to think of an alternative to doing midrolls, I thought about how people on Twitch make their income.

And what I found out is that it typically is done through two ways:

  • A handful of large sponsors or
  • many individuals supporting the show through donations. Many times those donations are through a Patreon or a similar service.

After checking with a sample of listeners, it sounded like that last one was something you guys would prefer. A show for the listener powered by the listeners.

 

Action Steps

So there’s my reasoning for getting my account started on Patreon. Again, when you go on there you’ll see that there’s actually 2 categories of support. The first one is for supporters of the show and the the second is more for partners.

Remember, that I’ll be implementing this change before 2019 rolls around. So make sure you binge on shows older than a year before Christmas. I’ll let everyone know through the show when the official landing page is up.

Also, be sure to check out the post from Fizzle called The Hurdle Between Free and Paid if you’re thinking about making something you now offer for free into something you collect money for.

podcast interview

Do-It-Yourself Publicity – How to Land Your Next Podcast Interview on Your Own with Millette Jones (AoL 130)

When you’re first starting out as a thought leader or creative entrepreneur, it can seem pretty daunting. Where do you even start? Do you build a few products that illustrate who you are and what you can help others with? Or do you start creating an audience right away and then make a product for them later?

Likewise, when it comes to getting your name out there, there are many paths one can take. You can hire a publicist, a booking agent, or in the case of today’s guest, you can utilize the knowledge of someone who can help you do it all yourself.

This session’s guest, Millette Jones, is host of the Unstoppable Coach podcast. Through her work she helps entrepreneurs learn how their story is important and understand how sharing it can propel their business to success.

On top of her podcast, she supports entrepreneurs with podcast publicity coaching, a membership site for DIY podcast interview marketing and her signature program: Podguesting for Profits.

In today’s conversation, Harrison and I speak with Millette to find out about her ups and downs as an entrepreneur and how you can use your own story to rise above the crowd.

Enjoy!

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Millette become a coach? 10:21
  • How was she first exposed to the podcasting world? 16:08
  • What are some ways that she suggests that can help people rise above the crowd? 17:27
  • What are some tips to stay focused as an entrepreneur? 22:54
  • How does someone overcome broken business relationships? 26:38
  • What’s first? Creating awareness or building a product or service? 28:43
  • How can a guest best prepare themself for being on a podcast? 33:50
  • Where does Millette see her work in the next couple of years? 39:48
  • What are 3 podcasts that have helped shaped her as a podcaster? 43:47
  • What’s something that she has gotten better at saying no to? 46:00
  • Is there something in the podcasting world that Millette is excited about? 47:45
  • What’s it mean to live a life of abundance? 53:11

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Dan Lok Interview (Full Length)

Chris Gardner Interview (Full Length)

Shane Sams on Recording a Podcast in a Car

Pat Flynn on Starting Your Podcast in 2018 (Equipment and Software)


Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on CastboxiTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

the junto

The Junto – 10 Month Update

So, almost a year ago, I thought that things were progressing smoothly with the New Inceptions sphere of influence. The podcast was seeing more and more listeners, I had met several people in town who I partnered with, and I had just recently started the Junto. We had a pretty good weekly plan – including doing weekly videos discussing the life of an entrepreneur.

Well, fast forward a handful of months, we lose the building we were doing our videos in (Collaborate 317). We also lost several key people who were building the community – due to, well, life, really. (The aliens got them!)

So, after these changes, those who were left of us in our local group started wondering – “What’s next? How do we do the things that we set out to do with C317?”

Well, long story short, the heart of C317 has been transplanted into Amplify – which we now refer to as Amplify Indy. It’s a prototype of what we want to help other cities do around the country.

For the last 2 months, we’ve been holding monthly events where we highlight nonprofits, business, artists, and musicians.

However, because it’s been so Indy focused – I wasn’t sure how to capture it in a group like the Junto that is for anyone across the globe to be a part of.

Also, I got burnt out of Facebook for awhile. (I think I touched it once or twice a week for marketing purposes.)

 

So, if you were wondering what happened. There ya go.

 

Lessons Learned

There was a couple of things I learned from this experience.

1. Don’t Be Vague

When I originally set out in creating the Junto, my idea was to create a safe space where people could “debate questions of morals, politics, natural philosophy, and to exchange knowledge of business affairs.” I was looking to make it a place where people could come together as opposed to being segregated into silos. Facebook is very good at separating us.

What I found out is that having these types of talks are much easier to have in person. Not only because it’s a bit more intimate and people feel safer in real world settings. But also because finding groups on Facebook is all about keywords. And if people aren’t looking for things they’re not aware of, they’re not going to find the answers, let alone ask the questions, about those topics.

In other words, to do what I wanted to do on Facebook might not have been the best idea. Facebook isn’t a platform designed to create an organic following while talking about somewhat vague topics. People don’t know what they don’t know. And they’re not going to search for things they’re not thinking about or even aware of.

 

2. Don’t Make Busy People Admins of a Vague Idea

They simply don’t have the time.

If someone is hugely busy offline, then they don’t usually have the time to do things that aren’t directly impacting them. They especially don’t have the time to put the time and effort into an “online experiment” such as the Junto.

I’ve noticed that as other groups have gotten to be more populated, the founders usually promoted those who were already contributing. Or they hired someone to be the community leader.

When you’re first starting out, you don’t have that.

Tied to the vagueness of what the group was intended to help people with, people weren’t ever sure if their content was helpful to the group.

So that was a failure on my end.

 

3. Play to Your Strengths

While I make a great connector, I’ve come to realize I’m not the best when it comes to promoting things to the masses. Thankfully, I’ve come to know people who are. They’re much better at being online more regularly, whereas I tend to randomly disconnect from the online world as a whole. Sometimes, a couple days at a time.

Considering that none of my content is made beforehand (I like to stay current and keep you guys informed on what’s going on NOW!), sometimes it’s difficult for me to get content out. Last week was a good example. I was starting on a course that I’m excited about finishing. It fits into my strengths and I’ll be able to serve local folks in a different manner than I would have ever considered.

 

Where do WE go from here?

While New Inceptions’ main focus will always be to help those who have missed the mark on their personal mission, I have personally started focusing much more on local things.

This is something that I really didn’t pay attention to when I restarted this entrepreneurial adventure in 2015 – engaging with local established folks.

Sure, I had Laila as cohost of the podcast and yes, we lead the local Fizzle meetup for over a year. But really, we weren’t making much, if any, of an impact outside of ourselves!

However, with these new events and the doors that are beginning to open up locally (including some REALLY good opportunities) my focus has shifted to being more of a local impact.

Why? Because it’s pretty fulfilling to be part of something that is bigger than just me!

So where does that leave the Junto as a group?

 

A Few Options

After having my second 12 minute conversation with Engel Jones (on Facebook) I realized that there were a few options that we could run with:

  • Shut it down all together and restart with something new. (Not my favorite choice. I love the idea of the group still.)
  • Just start off again as if nothing happened (Yeah, that’s not going to work.).
  • Or, we can rebuild it with a some new admins but refocus on what we’re really helping people with:
    • Help people find their personal mission and
    • Excel as an influencer once that mission is found.

The third choice seems to be more practical.

However, this time around, I’ll be looking for some admins that are in the same niche as NI and Amplify AND that can actually contribute.

So, for the foreseeable future, the Junto is going to be going through some under the hood reworkings – but I think they’ll be for the better. I’m really looking forward to bringing what we’re doing here locally in Indy to the rest of the world.

 

Action Steps

If you’d be interested in working with me on the next iteration of the group, connect with me on or offline. I want to make it a great experience for all. And I know I’m going to need help doing that!

teach a man to fish

Teach a Man to Fish – How Creating A Business Opportunity Can Make A Real Change

In 2014, a study came out that suggested that Americans want to give back with their purchases, not charity.

The results of the survey, conducted by a socially responsible marketing consultancy Good.Must.Grow, show these trends for the second year in a row. In a poll of 1,010 Americans, the group found that about 30% consumers planned to increase their purchases from socially responsible companies in the coming year (compared to 29% last year). Meanwhile, only 18% plan to increase charitable giving in 2014, a decline from 21% in 2013.

Here’s a graph of these findings from Fast Company paired with those from 2012 and thosethat were projected for the previous year in 2013.

teach a man to fish

Furthermore, the Midwest was actually the most prone to buy when they knew that part of the proceeds were going towards a good cause.  

teach a man to fish

If you want to check out more about this study here’s the article in Fast Company.

 

Anyhow, keep this in mind for a second. I have a couple of other things to share with you.

 

Direct Trade: A Form of Cause Centric Commerce

Now why do I bring this up? Well, you might remember a book that I started when I was in Honduras, which I’ve since finished. It was called Meaningful Work: A Quest to Do Great Business, Find Your Calling, and Feed Your Soul by Shawn and Lawren Askinosie.

In its pages are several key points.

One of which is their use of direct trade in their business.

Now when I say direct trade, that’s not to confuse it with fair trade. Totally not the same thing. And in fact, fair trade isn’t as great as it sounds. In the book, Shawn says the farmers aren’t compensated as much as we’d expect them to be.

teach a man to fish

Direct trade, on the other hand, is a much better deal for everyone involved. Farmers get compensated more and the actual trading agreements are determined by those involved – not a third party.


Because of this, Askinosie Chocolate has the ability to have a hand in helping a couple of developing countries get off the ground. Not only do they help the farmers themselves by doing business with them, but they also help their communities. This is done through numerous programs.

Shawn has a saying (or perhaps a company motto) that goes “It’s not about the chocolate, it’s about the chocolate.”

Without the farmers that he trades with, his business simply wouldn’t be the same.

It’s the cocoa bean farmers that give his company a heart. But it was Shawn and his company that gave the farmers purpose and a way to actually improve their way of life.

Business On the Border

In Mexico, they don’t have government programs that pay for livelihoods. If you want food, you’re going to have to work for it.

Most of the rest of the world is like this – including those countries that Shawn does business with.

This past weekend, I saw first hand what this situation does for people. It drives the market and stimulates the local economy.

Specifically, in this instance, it was in the border towns of Calixico and Mexicali.

On both sides, people were selling goods to those of us who were waiting in line to cross the border. These goods were anything from fruit and pastries up to small digital devices, carvings, as well as NFL and NBA themed blankets.

teach a man to fish

By far, though, the Mexico side had more of these true entrepreneurs.

I think there’s two reasons for this: 1.) They HAVE to make an income because they’re not relying on the government for a handout. 2.) They probably don’t have as many restrictions as we do on the US side.

 

Regardless, while we were waiting in line on the Mexican side to get across, Maria and I noticed that a good majority of these vendors were young people. And when I say young, I mean anywhere from 6 years old up to folks in their mid 20’s.

By the end of our 2 and a half hour wait to cross, we ended up buying items from a couple of the kids.

 

One, I have to say, was a great hustler already at age 10.

This kid was awesome. He was was selling chopped coconuts with the water in a plastic bag.

We watched him perform the entire prep process. From chopping the coconuts, to pouring the water, and then slicing the coconut flesh itself. Once he had a couple cut up, he’d come out into the street with everyone else.

Not only did he help us buy from him by giving us great value with all the prep he had done, but he was a heck of a salesman.

The coconuts were priced at 4 dollars. However, we didn’t have exact change.

As I was looking through my wallet, he apparently noticed that I had a 20 in there.

He said “Oh hey, I have change!” He even wanted me to count it when he gave it to me!

I love it. Not only did he show hustle to prep the coconuts as well as he did, but he was aware enough to help us get over the obstacles of making the sale.

 

The Magic of Hustling

Now, the reason I brought up the study at the beginning of this post is because I want to illustrate something.

The farmers that Askinosie Chocolate works with and the folks that were selling items on the street in Mexicali – they have something in common. They’re not looking for handouts – they’re not beggars. Instead they’re out making things happen by being members of the free market.

I’m guessing that they’re both getting more of an income from being part of this free market and solving problems then if they were simply asking for money.

Not only that, but they probably have a bit of pride in the work they do. They’re able to actually help provide for their families.

As someone from the midwest, I can understand why our socially responsible buying habits have gone up. I’d sooner help contribute to someone who’s working towards something meaningful (even if it’s just selling items in the street) than give to a charity. For one, there’s direct impact there (like Shawn does with his farmers).

But the other thing is people increasingly want a return for the money they worked for themselves.

 

Action Steps

So here’s something I’m going to challenge you guys with. Instead of rewarding those who need help through charity, help people figure out a way to generate income through their own skills. Help them figure out a way to bring in additional income to build themselves and potentially their community.

In the states, that might be something like helping homeless people become produce vendors. Or perhaps, you can help set up an organization where you rehabilitate these folks to be productive members of society. (This is actually being done by a nonprofit at C317.)

Heck, maybe it’s helping farmers with their digital marketing and helping them sell to customers on the other side of the country.

The thing is, there are people who you could help that want to work their way out of their situation. They’re simply looking for the opportunity to do so.

Look for those people and help them up! I believe that you’ll get more fulfillment than you would if you were to simply donate.

 

webinar marketing

Milana Leshinsky – Telesummits aren’t dead! How Great Webinar Marketing Can Make a Huge Impact for Your Small Business! (AoL 118)

Webinars, telesummits, and virtual summits. They used to be a staple in digital marketing.

In recent years, however, they’ve become rarer to see.

Why?

Because for the most part, people have used them primarily as a way to build their email list. They used it primarily as part of their funnel.

While this is a function that webinars can serve, we shouldn’t overestimate their power to connect us with thought leaders in our various industries.

Today’s guest, Milana Leshinsky, is on a mission to help people see the power that telesummits (aka virtual summits) can provide for a small business.

On top of finding out how she got to be such a huge advocate of these mediums, we find out how they’ve played a role in her own business. She also talks about the mindset you should have when building your own virtual summit.

 

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How was it that Milana first came to the US? 9:12
  • What made her change her focus of study in school from music to something completely different? 11:32
  • Why did she quit her IT job in 2002 as a mom of two? What did it get her in a relatively short amount of time? 13:25
  • How has digital marketing changed during her career? 17:10
  • Why should someone do a telesummit and what makes a good one? 19:53
  • In what ways has she been able to get back into her artistic roots? 39:00
  • What’s Milana looking forward to working on? 45:04
  • Who have been influencers in Milana’s life? 47:40
  • What are three books that she tells others about? 49:13
  • What’s something Milana has been good to saying no to? 51:37
  • What is her least favorite social custom? 52:43
  • How can someone find their own personal freedom? 54:26

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Virtual Summits & Telesummits

Fastest Path to Go To Expert

Future of Video Marketing with Michelle Kopper

Jeremy and Milana on Sales in Coaching

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

social innovation

Solving Community Problems through Social Innovation with Harrison Painter (AoL 117)

Having a business is one thing, but starting one that’s on a mission to make an impact in your community is something else. Especially one that focuses on creating Massive Positive Social Impact.

What does that mean exactly?

Well imagine if your sole focus of your business is to amplify purpose driven entrepreneurs, creators, and nonprofit founders in your community. This is what Amplify Indy and it’s creator, Harrison Painter is all about.

By working with Collaborate 317, Harrison has helped start an awesome community through the Amplify Hope Program.

In this interview with Harrison, you’ll learn what it’s all about and what sparked this vision.

It’s our hope that you’ll want to make Massive Positive Social Impact in your area and join us in the Junto on Facebook.

SPECIFICALLY, YOU’LL FIND OUT MORE ABOUT:

  • How did Harrison originally get into marketing and event promotion? 7:19
  • How did he realize that it was time to leave the traditional job world and strike out on his own? 13:22
  • What made him move to LA with his business? What’s the difference between there and the midwest? 21:00
  • How did Amplify get off the ground? 33:34
  • What are some secrets to launching and marketing an event? 44:07
  • What’s the Amplify Hope Program all about? 47:36
  • What else is Harrison looking forward to in 2018? 55:43
  • What are three favorite movies or documentaries? 1:04:13
  • One gift he likes giving others? 1:06:21
  • What’s a topic people should be talking about hardly anyone is? 1:07:57
  • What was something Harrison believed when he was 30 and now believes was inaccurate? 1:13:46
  • How can someone be a difference maker in their community? 1:15:27

Right click here and save-as to download this episode to your computer.

 

ITEMS and PEOPLE MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

SHOW NOTE EXTRAS:

Harrison reveals the Amplify Hope Challenge:

Dr. Pingnan Shi shares with us the Amplify Youth Program:

Thomas “TAG” Griffin shares with us Hearts in Hand Homeless Outreach

Thank You, Sam Ash from HIH: Homeless Outreach

Thanks for Listening!

Thanks so much for joining us again this week. Have some feedback you’d like to share? Leave a note in the comment section below!

If you enjoyed this episode, please share it using the social media buttons you see at the top of the post.

Also, please leave an honest review for The AoL Podcast on iTunes! Ratings and reviews are extremely helpful and greatly appreciated! They do matter in the rankings of the show, and we read each and every one of them.

If you have any questions feel free to email them over via the email mentioned in the show or by our contact form.

And finally, don’t forget to subscribe to the show on iTunesStitcherSoundcloud, and/or Google Play Music. It’s absolutely free to do so.

A huge thank-you to you guys for joining us!

Cheers!

relationship building

Making Winning Connections: Relationship Building Tips for Life and Business

As the Junto is starting to grow, I realize that there’s going to be more and more opportunities for people to connect with others who are seemingly going the same direction as they are.

To make sure they are, here’s a few notes from a recent John Maxwell course called the Mentor’s Guide to Relationships. I hope you can use the information presented here to make sure that a pursuing a certain relationship is worth your time.

At the very least, I want to help you realize if you’re in a one way relationship. One that you might be putting way too much energy in yourself and not getting anything back from it.

So let’s start off by looking at the four different levels of relationships.

 

Four Levels of Relationships

Surface Relationships

Now, when you’re on social media (or anywhere else for that matter) and you’re just meeting someone – you’re engaging in the most basic and common form of a relationship. A surface relationship is one where there’s really no strong commitment from either person and it’s a very passive interaction.

An example of a surface level relationship is just randomly adding a “friend” on Facebook and they in turn accepting that request. You might have just added them to your friends list because they have a lot of mutual friends – even though you don’t really know who they are.

Acquaintances would be part of this this level.

Just remember, all real friends start off as strangers at one point. So, just give it some time if you want things to grow…

 

Structured Relationships

The next level of a relationship is what’s called the structured relationship. These relationships are with people who meet at certain times. This can mean daily, weekly, or monthly.

Generally speaking this type of routine based engagement is centered around some sort of interest or activity such as an Meetup. In the online business world, it might mean a mastermind group. Or in the typical offline world, it can mean a group of students.

Outside of that group, there’s not much meaning for those people to interact – so they don’t.

 

Secure Relationships

The next level of relationships are those that when members of a structured relationships start appreciating the bond.

At this level, trust begins to form as the need to spend more time together grows. Most of the time, these folks will have no problems sharing with each other. And there’s a bit of a comfort zone feeling with these folks.

When you were going to school, these were the study friends. Perhaps they were the friends  that you hung out with before games. Or maybe they were your fellow band friends who you’d play euchre with each day. But the main thing was that these folks started relying on you as you relied on them.

In business, this might be someone that you decide to joint venture with on a particular project such as a course or new podcast.

 

Solid Relationships

Next up, we have the highest of all relationships – the solid relationship. At this level, not only do full trust and confidentiality exist, but there is a need to give back to the other party if they’ve helped you in some way.

Of course, this is the basis for a long term relationship.

If we were to think of the school analogy, your close friends were (or are still) examples of this! While, in the business world, you’d start new businesses with these folks.

 

Avoid High Maintenance Relationships

When I first started dating Maria I had a very strong feeling of “normality” when we were together. She felt like someone that I had known for a long time.

Society suggests – especially TV – that a normal romantic relationship is something that has a lot of maintenance to it. Drama and fighting is to be expected – not calmly discussing the issues at hand.

The truth is that this shouldn’t be the case in ANY relationship you want to make long term – including romantic relationships!

So how do you know if you’re in a high maintenance relationship?

In his book, High Maintenance Relationships, author Les Parrott talks about 12 different types of people who it would be hard to get along with – especially over a significant amount of time.

  • Critic – constantly complains and gives unwanted advice.
  • Martyr – forever the victim and wracked with self-pity.
  • Wet Blanket – pessimistic and automatically negative.
  • Steam Roller – blindly insensitive to others.
  • Gossip – spreads rumors and leaks secrets.
  • Control Freak – unable to let go and let be.
  • Backstabber – irrepressibly two-faced.
  • Cold Shoulder – disengages and avoids contact.
  • Green Eyed Monster – seethes with envy.
  • Volcano – builds steam and is ready to erupt.
  • Sponge – constantly in need but gives nothing back.
  • Competitor – keeps track of tit for tat.

 

Are you with one of these types of individuals? If so, you might want to move on.

If you wouldn’t be in romantic relationships with someone with one or several of these particular traits, why would you want to be in business with them… or visa versa?

Going from Surface to Solid Relationships

In the past week, I’ve relearned how awkward people can be when it comes to developing real relationships. Whether it’s simple friendships, jv partnerships, or going after a life partner… the goal is to not be a weirdo.

Believe me, I learnt the hard way!

So how do you go from adding a friend on Facebook to making them a good friend, business partner, or building something that could be even more?

Here’s 5 traits of a solid relationship.

 

Mutual Enjoyment

Here’s the truth. Spend time with people who enjoy your presence. If you feel that you’re having to pry and overly try with the relationship, it’s probably not a good foundation and you should move on.

Don’t be an irritant!

 

Respect

What’s the best way to make sure you’re not an irritant?

Be respectful of the other person.

Forget the golden rule of treating people how you’d want to be treated. Instead, treat people like they would like to be treated.

What’s that mean?

Learn how they want to be interpreted. Find out their story. Be curious and let them be the storyteller. Find out where they went to school and for what. If they didn’t go to school, find out what they’ve learned “the hard way”.

If you’re unclear as to how to read a certain topic with them – don’t feel like you have to assume something – this usually works out negatively if you do. No question is dumb. Just say “I’m not sure how to ask this but…” if you’re completely unsure how to ask something.

Have a problem with them? Let them know. Likewise, if they feel like they have a problem with you, they should come to you about it.

Make a point to get to know someone, but not for manipulative purposes. If they tell you something that’s a secret, don’t tell anyone. If they are hesitant in a certain area, learn how to help bring out the best in them through their own permission.

 

Mutual Shared Experiences

There’s a reason why military veterans get along as well as they do even if they didn’t know each other prior to them first getting together.

What’s the reason?

They have shared similar experiences.

From day 1, they’re taught to trust each other to be part of a larger organism. When you count on someone to do a certain action which allows you to do your job, then you’re going to care about that other person more. Cause if they get taken out, then you won’t be able to do what you need to do properly.

Sports players are the same way.

When talking about developing a winning football team, Vince Lombardi said, “The difference between mediocrity and greatness is the feeling these guys have for each other.”

It makes sense. If the line doesn’t do their job and block, then the ball handlers can’t do their jobs. The result is that the ball doesn’t go anywhere.

 

Reciprocity

For the above teams to win, that caring feeling needs to be mutual between teammates – whether on a battlefield with bullets… or on the gridiron.

Right here is how you can tell if a relationship is worth your time to develop. If you feel like everything is running smoothly, then everything is fine.

However, if you feel that the other person is getting a better deal, bring it up with them. If they don’t acknowledge it, then it might be time to move onto another relationship.

If you feel like you’re getting a better deal, then it’s your job to make sure that they’re being evenly compensated.

 

Trust

Trust comes over time and is the result of the previous 4 traits humming along just fine. Don’t forget that intentions don’t really matter when it comes to other people.

It’s all about actions.

When your actions match your words, that’s how you build trust.

Just make sure that those actions are positive and truly helpful to the other party!

 

Action Steps

As you might have realize, relationships are something that I take seriously. There was a time when I wasn’t super great at them – so I made it a point to go out of my way to learn about them. If you want to learn more about building great relationships, I’d check out the book by John Maxwell and Les Parrott 25 Ways to Win with People: How to Make Others Feel Like a Million Bucks

As you probably know, I’m a big fan of John’s and he has ton’s on this topic!